Masturbating with spouse over Skype

Posted on January 20, 2013 at 12:01 am

Sexual Issues

Follow Gramps:

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestmail
Print Friendly

My husband and I have been happily married for over 25 years. (We were married and sealed in the Temple.) Unfortunately, he has had to take a job that requires him to be out-of-state for long periods of time. What are your feelings on using Skype to express our love and arouse each other and then both of us masturbating (while on Skype) to still be able to have sexual intimacy as a part of our marriage? I know it’s not very “intimate” through Skype, but sometimes that’s all we have available to us through these long periods of time. There is never masturbating alone and it is never done without both of us being on Skype. I assume it would be the same for people who are in the military, for example, and have to be apart for very long periods of time.

Julie

______________

Dear Julie,

I am not sure I am going to provide you with the consolation you were looking for regarding the separation you have from your spouse and the current activities you Skypeand your husband have agreed upon. However, as Joseph Smith taught, I will provide you with true principles and doctrines as given by the Lord’s servants, and then you and your husband can review them and govern yourselves.

President Spencer W. Kimball once said,

Self-abuse

The early apostles and prophets mention numerous sins that were reprehensible to them… They included all sexual relations outside marriage—petting, sex perversion, masturbation, and preoccupation with sex in one’s thoughts and talking (emphasis added).

President Kimball has also declared:

Masturbation, a rather common indiscretion, is not approved of the Lord nor of his church, regardless of what may have been said by others whose “norms” are lower. Latter-day Saints are urged to avoid this practice. Anyone fettered by this weakness should abandon the habit before he goes on a mission or receives the holy priesthood or goes in the temple for his blessings.

Masturbation is considered by many in the world to be the harmless expression of an instinctive sex drive. Teach your children that the prophets have condemned it as a sin throughout the ages and that they can choose not to do it…. The sin of masturbation occurs when a person stimulates his or her own sex organs for the purpose of sexual arousal. It is a perversion of the body’s passions. When we pervert these passions and intentionally use them for selfish, immoral purposes, we become carnal.

Masturbation is not physically necessary. There is already a way by which the male system relieves excessive spermatic fluid quite regularly through the nocturnal emission or wet dream. Monthly menstrual flow expels the female’s egg and cleanses the womb. For both sexes, physical or emotional tensions can be released by vigorous activity. Thus, in a biological sense, masturbation for either gender is not necessary. In a gospel sense, it is a sin: “Masturbation, a rather common indiscretion, is not approved of the Lord nor of His Church regardless of what may have been said by others whose ‘norms’ are lower. Latter-day Saints are urged to avoid this practice” (Spencer W. Kimball, Love Versus Lust, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [Provo, 5 Jan. 1965], p. 22).

In my personal thoughts, I would rather wait to see my wife over a long separation, and a loving embrace, rather than spoiling it through an imitation of our love over Skype.

Sincerely,

Gramps

Summary
Article Name
Masturbating with spouse over Skype - Ask Gramps - Q and A about Mormon Doctrine
Author
Description
My husband and I have been happily married for over 25 years. (We were married and sealed in the Temple.) Unfortunately, he has had to take a job that requires him to be out-of-state for long periods of time.
  • Don

    Your answer deals solely with masturbation, without making any distinction between masturbation as a solo activity and masturbation as a mutual activity between husband and wife. We covenant not to engage in sexual activity except “with” a husband or wife. When a husband and wife are connected with each other and conversing with each other through Skype or a similar connection, they are “with” each other, and they are contributing to one another’s pleasure and joy. I don’t believe President Kimball’s remarks about masturbation have anything to do with mutual sexual activity between spouses, which is ordained of God.

Follow Gramps:

Why was the purchase of slaves allowed during Biblical times?

October 21, 2014 6:00 am

Question Gramps, I have been discussing matters of misinterpretation with Bible versus with friends and was wondering, why are there parts of the Bible that allow the purchase (more)

If my father is the Branch President, can I repent to someone else?

October 20, 2014 5:00 am

Question Gramps, Hello.  I have broken the Law of Chastity and the Word of Wisdom. I’ve been doing better and reading my scriptures and praying for forgiveness but (more)

How many Priesthoods are there?

October 19, 2014 6:00 am

Question Gramps, How many priesthoods are there?  I know there is the Aaronic and Melchezidek, but someone mentioned there was also the Patriarchal Priesthood? Don   Answer Don, (more)

Will the church rescind the ban on coffee due to Alzheimers studies?

October 18, 2014 6:00 am

Question Gramps, I am a member and wonder why the church does not rescind the ban on coffee when scientific studies over the past 20 years have shown (more)

Can physical intimacy and spirituality be compatible?

October 17, 2014 11:37 am

Question Dear Gramps, When I am reading my scriptures or saying my prayers, I have no interest in physical intimacy with my spouse.  And when we do come (more)

Is God a respecter of persons sometimes?

October 16, 2014 12:47 am

Question Gramps, Why does the Lord seem to bless some of the faithful with prosperity? It seems that others who are faithful and also pay their tithes and (more)

In the Princess Bride, should Wesley have pursued a married woman?

October 15, 2014 10:28 am

Question Dear Gramps, Was it appropriate for Wesley from the Princess Bride to pursue a married woman? Fezzik   Answer Fezzik, The question is not whether Westley was (more)

How can I learn about the church as a teenager?

October 13, 2014 12:04 am

Question Gramps, Hello. I am 16 and I have zero affiliation with the church. I was interested in learning about the Mormons, so I got a copy of (more)

Was Joseph Smith just a con man?

October 12, 2014 8:18 am

Question Gramps, In 1971 Joseph Smith was arrested and brought before a Justice of the Peace for that practice of a “glass looker”. Before this he was in (more)

Is there a reference that people filled with the Spirit of Christ can heal?

October 9, 2014 5:00 am

Question Gramps. Is there a reference that people with the Spirit of Christ and filled with the Holy Ghost can heal people with faith? My granddaughter who is (more)

Since Lehi had left, how did the people know Jerusalem was destroyed?

October 8, 2014 5:25 pm

Question Gramps, Helaman 8:21 And now will you dispute that Jerusalem was destroyed? Will ye say that the sons of Zedekiah were not slain, all except it were Mulek? (more)

What is an apologetic site?

October 7, 2014 9:05 am

Question Gramps, What is an apologetic site? Debby   Answer Debby, I am going to make an assumption that your question was triggered by this one Why Does (more)