Question
Dear Gramps,
Should LDS parents attend the same-sex wedding of their gay children? What if they were having a heterosexual wedding in a Satanic church? Where does one draw the line in their children’s unacceptable conduct? How would one give their child love and support without giving tacit approval to the wrong choices they have made? The following quotation comes to mind:
“Vice is a monster of so frightful mien,
As to be hated needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.”
Alexander Pope – An Essay on Man
Robert
Answer
Robert,
Alexander Pope’s “An Essay on Man” reminds me of Charles Dicken’s words in “A Tale of Two Cities” specifying:
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way.”
We definitely are able to recognize how profound Alexander Pope’s statement has been since we live in a world that once endured, then pitied, and now a good number are embracing same sex marriage. We also recognize the Church’s stand regarding the definition of marriage and its sacredness that can only be found between the union of a man and a woman lawfully wed as husband and wife.
When a parent is determining whether or not to attend the marriage of their gay children, I believe, parents are the only two people who could make that decision for themselves in thoughtful and mindful prayer before the Lord. If I were in a similar situation I am reminded of these words from our leaders:
1) Article of Faith #13:
“We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous and in doing good to all men…. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy we seek after these things.”
2) In the Old Testament a father was chastened by the Lord for not properly restraining his children even though he knew their iniquity. The Lord described their iniquity as “vile” before Him. As a result, Eli was removed from his leadership position.
3) The Church published:
“On the question of same-sex marriage, the Church has been consistent in its support of traditional marriage while teaching that all people should be treated with kindness and understanding. If it is being suggested that the Church’s doctrine on this matter is changing, that is incorrect.”
4) Elder Dallin H. Oaks has provided some profitable counsel:
“Similarly, laws legalizing so-called “same-sex marriage” do not change God’s law of marriage or His commandments and our standards concerning it. We remain under covenant to love God and keep His commandments and to refrain from serving other gods and priorities—even those becoming popular in our particular time and place.”
5) Elder Dallin H. Oaks also quoted President Thomas S. Monson when he stated:
“Courage, not compromise, brings the smile of God’s approval. Courage becomes a living and an attractive virtue when it is regarded not only as a willingness to die manfully, but as the determination to live decently. A moral coward is one who is afraid to do what he thinks is right because others will disapprove or laugh. Remember that all men have their fears, but those who face their fears with dignity have courage as well.”
The proper step with regard to your questions would be for a mother and father to humbly kneel before the Lord to determine how they might in love, kindness, and compassion continue to support their children without supporting what they know to be iniquitous before the Lord.
Gramps
