Question
Gramps,
I just read your article regarding women in the work place. I understand it. But…. what if your children are in school your husband makes a good living and you don’t want to be in the work place but your husband wants you there to be ale to have a better retirement? I understand women should only be there out of necessity or desire correct?
Carmen
Answer
Carmen,
What we do with our lives, so long as it is legal and morally sound, is pretty much up to us to decide. I can’t recall the Lord ever dictating specifics on this.
On the one hand, raising a family in this world today is a great challenge to parents, but then it’s always been a great challenge.
On the other hand, providing for a family is becoming a great challenge in its own right.
Thus we are here, trying to sort out what is the best thing to do. The ultimate decision for this situation rests with the parents themselves. If there is a desire to change the arrangement, whatever that may be, spouses should counsel with each other as well as with the Lord, through prayer, to determine the best course of action. The first priority should be the integrity of the marriage itself, then the welfare of the children. Financial needs are important, but they should never be the first consideration. Budgets can be adjusted, and lifestyles can also move up and down as needed. However replacing a family member…clearly they should always be considered first.
Yes, the preferred arrangement has been that mothers stay home to raise the children while fathers are at work. However, that isn’t always possible, and the Lord knows this very well. Each couple is entitled to revelation from God on what is best for their family, and I highly encourage seeking specific answers from Him.
Some quotes that you might want to consider. The first is taken from The Family: A Proclamation to the World:
“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).
President Ezra Taft Benson had this to say:
“Sometimes the mother works outside of the home at the encouragement, or even insistence, of her husband. It is he who wants the items or conveniences that the extra income can buy. Not only will the family suffer in such instances, brethren, but your own spiritual growth and progression will be hampered. I say to all of you, the Lord has charged men with the responsibility to provide for their families in such a way that the wife is allowed to fulfill her role as mother in the home.”
From President Gordon B. Hinckley:
“Nevertheless, I recognize, as he recognized, that there are some women (it has become very many, in fact) who have to work to provide for the needs of their families. To you I say, do the very best you can. I hope that if you are employed full-time you are doing it to ensure that basic needs are met and not simply to indulge a taste for an elaborate home, fancy cars, and other luxuries. The greatest job that any mother will ever do will be in nurturing, teaching, lifting, encouraging, and rearing her children in righteousness and truth. None other can adequately take her place”
I love helping people with their lives by answering questions. It brings me great peace. However I don’t have all the answers. I’ll always gladly refer you to Heavenly Father, who does have all the answers. Whatever question I and my friends who help me cannot answer, I assure you He can and will.
Gramps
