Question
Dear Gramps,
I have a father who left us and the Mormon Church when I was three years old (I am now 34 and a mother of 6). Five years ago he started coming back to church and one year ago got his temple blessings restored. I am so happy and excited for him. My father has been married many times since his first marriage to my mother. As a child I saw him once a year for a 1- or 2-week visit. As a teenager we moved closer and I saw him more often. My father remarried two years ago to a Mormon woman who was also recently reactivated. They have been trying to get permission to be sealed in the temple. For some reason I am having a difficult time with this. I feel like all of my life my brother and I have been second to his various wives and step-children. Although my father really seems to be trying to be a good father now, I still feel like we take a backseat to them in many ways.
Last year my new step-mother spread some rumors about my husband to my family members that hurt very badly and caused a lot of pain. What hurt worse was my dad stuck up for her against me and lied for her. Although I am over it now and things are mended, I learned where I stand with him. Their first request to get sealed last year in the temple was denied and they reapplied recently and are expecting an answer anytime. I guess it feels like that we are being replaced again by his new family only this time for eternity with Heaven’s stamp of approval. Do you have any thoughts for me, I am really struggling and want to be supportive of his decision and his last chance to have an eternal marriage. Also, my dad’s new wife has two married daughters. Can they be sealed to my father and his wife without being legally adopted?
Brenda
Answer
Dear Brenda,
Your father has been out of your life since you were three years old. Why would you and your brother not expect to be second to his various wives and step-children? You do take a back seat in many ways. It would be nice to have been raised in an ideal home, but that has not been the case, so you must accept things as they are and go on from there. If you are happy for your father’s return to activity, you must realize that it is in another setting and let it go at that.
Now concerning who will be sealed to whom–
If your father is sealed to someone who is not your mother, you will not be sealed to that family.
The daughters of the new wife could not be sealed to the new family unless adopted if they were not of legal age; but being adults, they could be sealed to them without legal adoption if it was their desire and if they had been endowed.
If you and your husband have been endowed and sealed to each other, you will be sealed in the eternities to worthy parents. If your mother remains worthy, all of the blessings that have been promised to her in the endowment will be realized, and she will be sealed, in the Lord’s due time, to a worthy bearer of the holy priesthood, and you would be sealed to those parents.
With all this, the only people in the universe who remain as families in the eternities are those who have made sacred covenants in the temple and who continue to live by every word that proceeds forth from the mouth of God. All those who achieve this exaltation will live in an atmosphere of perfect peace, love and harmony, and will be one with the Father and the Son. Therefore, if we keep the commandments there is no cause for any worry about who will be sealed to whom. It will all work out in perfect harmony consistent with the commitments of the participants and the will of God.
Gramps
