How can I help my friend who is depressed because of the problems she is facing?

Posted on August 29, 2007 at 5:43 pm

Depression

Follow Gramps:

Print Friendly

Dear Gramps,
I find myself needing a little bit of help. I’m here in Iraq and I have just gotten an email from a good friend of mine who is going through a hard time. She has really been down lately–doesn’t even feel like she wants to go back to school (BYU-Idaho) One of her brothers is getting married, another is thinking about marriage, and her parents are thinking about going on a mission. So she thinks that she won’t have a home anymore, though she knows it’s good for her parents to go. Also, she has met a young man that she likes a lot and she knows he likes her. But she doesn’t want to start dating him because she is going back to school soon and he is moving back to Mexico. Also, he isn’t a member of the Mormon Church. Perhaps you could give me a little advice to help her get through this. I’m a solider in Iraq and have been out of the dating loop for a while now and would like to help her if I can.
Dalene, from Taji, Iraq
Dear Dalene,
It looks to me like your friend is leading a rather normal sort of life. It’s not at all unusual when changes come in one’s close relationships to feel a little insecure. Kind words of encouragement are always helpful, but I’m afraid that they won’t solve the perceived problem. She’s going to have to wade though this one by herself. If she doesn’t give up and flee the field, she will get involved in her studies, find new friends, be happy about the marriage of her brother and forget the non-member friend to whom se feels attracted at the moment. I think that you would be right to help her see that her present situation is quite transient, and before she knows it she will have an entirely new set of problems to worry about.
You might remind her that each problem she encounters or each difficulty that she confronts was put there by the Lord, and has a specific purpose for her growth and development. For those who are attempting to obey the will of the Lord, there are no accidents. Our Father in Heaven doesn’t even use difficulties as punishment for those who hate Him. He merely withdraws his Spirit from them and they destroy each other. But for those who love the Lord, He provides opportunity for character development by the trials He purposefully puts in their paths. The author, Henry Drummond, once said, “Intellect develops itself in solitude; character in the stream of life.”
Gramps

Summary
Article Name
How can I help my friend who is depressed because of the problems she is facing? - Ask Gramps - Q and A about Mormon Doctrine
Author
Description
I find myself needing a little bit of help. I’m here in Iraq and I have just gotten an email from a good friend of mine who is going through a hard time. She has really been down lately–doesn’t even feel like she wants to go back to school

Follow Gramps:

What movies can we watch?

April 24, 2014 6:00 am

Question Hey there Gramps, I have a question for you if that’s alright. So I’m a convert to the church and I remember one of the first things (more)

Who helped Noah build the ark?

April 23, 2014 8:03 am

Question Gramps, I want to know who helped Noah build the ark? Josefa   Answer Dear Josefa, The Book of Jasher (a medieval text that repeats Jewish traditions that have (more)

Am I a failure as a missionary?

April 22, 2014 7:16 am

Question Dear Gramps,I am serving a full time mission in England and have been working hard out here. Sadly I haven’t had a baptism out here and I (more)

What is meant by “our four minutes” spoken of in General Conference?

April 21, 2014 7:19 am

Question Gramps, In General conference a speaker referred to “our 4 minutes”. Please explain what that means. Carol Answer Carol, The talk you are referring to was given (more)

Why was Christ’s atonement so gruesome?

April 20, 2014 7:23 am

Question Gramps, What is your opinion of why Christ’s atonement had to be so gruesome?  I think of Abraham’s showing his obedience to God asking him to sacrifice (more)

Can a baptism done unofficially be valid from a spiritual perspective?

April 19, 2014 7:12 am

Question Gramps, I live in a remote area of the country ( UK). There are no LDS churches within visiting distance of me. I have checked this out (more)

How do I find a meetinghouse so I can return to activity?

April 18, 2014 9:46 am

Question Gramps, I used to be a Mormon when I was younger, but for personal reasons I left the church. Now I am a teenager and wondering how (more)

Did Brigham Young really make a comment about unmarried men?

April 15, 2014 8:53 am

Question Gramps, “Men above the age of 25 and aren’t married are a menace to society” is a quote I hear a lot of members of the Church (more)

What will happen to my own salvation?

April 14, 2014 9:30 am

Question Gramps, My husband and I were sealed in the temple 20 years ago and have 5 children. We have been active in the church this whole time. (more)

How can I get over my anxiousness about being the only unwed mother in my ward?

April 13, 2014 8:28 am

Question Dear Gramps, I am a single unwed mother who is newly baptized into the LDS church. As well as looking for a church that practiced what it (more)

Why were the printing presses of the Nauvoo Expositor destroyed?

April 12, 2014 7:51 am

Question Gramps, Why did Joseph Smith have the offices of the Nauvoo Exposiorr ransacked and the printing press destroyed and thrown into the middle of the street? Steve (more)

How do you become a forgiving person even when there is pain?

April 11, 2014 5:31 am

Question Gramps, I have a friend who is a forgiving person, however, my friend keeps forgiving others while they take advantage of hurting my friend. I tried telling (more)