Gramps,

How can I show gratitude and thankfulness?

Harold

Answer

Harold,

As November arrives, the air fills with anticipation for turkey feasts, family gatherings, and the warmth of shared tradition. For many, Thanksgiving is about far more than pumpkin pie and parades; it is a clarion call to pause, reflect, and embrace gratitude. Yet, amid the shopping frenzy of Black Friday and the digital deluge of hashtagged blessings, true thanksgiving can be elusive. How can we unlock the deeper joy that gratitude promises, especially from the perspective of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

Every November, social media explodes with daily “I’m thankful for…” posts. While these public acts of gratitude can be heartwarming, they also raise a crucial question: Are we truly feeling and expressing gratitude, or simply checking off a seasonal obligation? As William Arthur Ward famously declared, “Gratitude can transform common days into Thanksgiving, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” For disciples of Jesus Christ, Thanksgiving—and gratitude itself—can and should be woven into everyday living, extending far beyond one holiday or hashtag. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, drawing on scripture and prophetic teachings, find profound wisdom in living thankfully in all circumstances.

Leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have repeatedly emphasized that gratitude is not just a nice sentiment, but a divine gift and a spiritual practice. President Thomas S. Monson taught, “Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love.” He went on to remind us that “to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven.”

President Henry B. Eyring described remembrance as “the seed of gratitude.” He counseled church members to remember the blessings and tender mercies of God, suggesting that keeping a book of remembrance or a gratitude journal can help draw these blessings to mind.

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf observed that gratitude is possible not just during times of plenty, but even (or especially) amid life’s trials: “Gratitude should be a way of life regardless of our circumstances.”

Similarly, Elder David A. Bednar encouraged us to periodically offer prayers that contain only expressions of thanks—no requests, just heartfelt appreciation.

Central to this counsel is the understanding that gratitude is a commandment and a discipline, not merely an emotion reserved for easy times. The Church’s teachings highlight that gratitude leads to increased humility, stronger faith, and a more resilient spirit.

Offer gratitude-focused prayers: Make time to pray with the sole purpose of expressing thanks, as Elder Bednar suggested.

Keep a gratitude journal: Whether digital, handwritten, or even scribbled on post-it notes, recording blessings helps anchor your focus on the good.

Sincerely thank others in your life: Send thank you notes, verbalize appreciation, and recognize both the “seen” and “unseen” helpers around you.

Gratitude becomes even more meaningful as it turns outward into service. The Church teaches that expressing thankfulness is not limited to words but is powerful when demonstrated through humble acts of service. President M. Russell Ballard stated, “Gratitude and joy can be found through service. When this pure love of Christ—or charity—envelops us, we think, feel, and act more like Heavenly Father and Jesus would.”

True thanksgiving is magnified by giving back. Serving others helps us rise above our own challenges and fosters perspective. Whether it’s volunteering at a soup kitchen, delivering homemade desserts to struggling families, or simply offering a smile, the act of serving grounds us in selflessness and charity.

Here’s some ideas of things you can do.

Ding Dong Ditch a Do-Gooder: Secretly deliver treats or notes of appreciation to someone who is a quiet blessing in your community or congregation.

Invite others in: Welcome friends, neighbors, or those who might be lonely into your Thanksgiving celebrations.

Teach children to serve: Involve children in simple acts of kindness, reinforcing that service is a family value and a spiritual discipline.

Gratitude is intimately connected with noticing God’s hand in the everyday. Journaling about daily tender mercies—such as unexpected help, joyful moments, or even challenges that become teachers—strengthens faith and opens hearts to continued blessings. President Eyring’s advice to write down what God has done each day becomes a conduit for increased spiritual sensitivity and remembrance.

In a society where entitlement and ingratitude are common pitfalls, teaching gratitude to children and future generations is both crucial and rewarding. The Church advocates that cultivating gratitude in the home sets a pattern for lifelong happiness and resilience.

Parents are encouraged to help children gain perspective on their blessings by exposure to the needs of others—serving at food banks, discussing the work behind their privileges, and reading stories about thankfulness. Gratitude journals, family gratitude boards, and letter writing are simple but effective tools.

Modeling gratitude is perhaps the most powerful lesson. As President Thomas S. Monson put it, “To express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven.” When children see parents thank a grocery clerk, write a note to a teacher, or pray with gratitude to the Lord, they absorb and emulate the same attitude.

Elder M. Russell Ballard reminds us to be grateful for those who went before—ancestors whose sacrifices and faith paved the way. Expressing gratitude to parents and grandparents, whether through visits, calls, or cards, forges bonds and acknowledges our indebtedness to those who shaped our life’s path.

Sometimes, gratitude is difficult—especially in seasons of loss, trial, or loneliness. Even then, the Church teaches that thankfulness can be a healing balm. As Elder Quentin L. Cook advised, “Regardless of our trials, with the abundance we have today, we would be ungrateful if we did not appreciate our blessings.”

How can you sustain thankfulness?

Pray for a grateful heart: Ask for the eyes to see blessings, even during sorrow.

Celebrate small victories: Acknowledge both big achievements and small steps—even getting out of bed can be a triumph worth gratitude.

Surround yourself with uplifting material: Read talks and scriptures on gratitude, filling your mind and heart with positive, reinforcing messages.

Forgive and seek forgiveness: True gratitude often flourishes in hearts that are humble and forgiving. Letting go of old grievances frees us to recognize good in ourselves and others.

Embrace the spirit of gratitude: in word, thought, and deed, let every day be a true day of thanksgiving.

Gramps

Gramps,

Are we commanded to bless our food before eating?

Cheyenne

Answer

Cheyenne,

The act of pausing before a meal to bow one’s head in prayer is almost universal among Latter-day Saint families. Whether uttered in homes, at large gatherings, or even in public restaurants, these prayers stand as a visible and verbal reminder to express gratitude. Yet for many, these prayers may also become routine—a habitual string of phrases recited without much thought. Still, for others, the question arises: why do we bless our food? Is there anything special, doctrinal, or even miraculous about these prayers? Grappling with these questions leads to a deeper exploration of faith, gratitude, and intentional worship in everyday life.

To understand the practice, one must first look to the scriptures. Importantly, there are several accounts where Christ and other prophets blessed food or gave thanks before eating.

In the New Testament, Jesus sets a precedent by blessing bread and fish before distributing them to the masses in two separate miraculous feedings (Matthew 14:19, 15:36). In one account He “blessed” the loaves and in another He “gave thanks.” Scholars suggest Christ was likely performing the Jewish custom of the b’rakhah—a prayer of praise and gratitude for God’s gifts of sustenance. In this context, the blessing is directed less at the food itself and more toward God, the Giver, as an act of gratitude and worship. The longer, more detailed prayers of thanks after the meal referenced elsewhere in scripture (Deuteronomy 8:10, Alma 8:22) likewise focus on thanking God rather than invoking any transformation of the food itself.

Perhaps the most closely related practice within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the weekly sacrament, a sacred ordinance with roots in Christ’s Last Supper (Matthew 26:26, 3 Nephi 18:3-7). Here too, the bread and water represent the body and blood of Christ, and are blessed before being partaken. However, this blessing is not for physical nourishment so much as for spiritual renewal and sanctification—participants “eat in remembrance” of Christ’s sacrifice and covenant to follow Him (Moroni 4:3; Doctrine & Covenants 20:77-79). This illustrates how blessing food, in this case, transforms its purpose for the faithful.

Scripture also records rare instances when food was miraculously multiplied or protected as a direct result of divine intervention. Elijah’s blessing on the widow’s meal allowed it to last throughout a years-long famine (1 Kings 17), Moses called down manna from heaven to daily nourish the Israelites (Exodus 16), and Nephi was guided to food by the Liahona as his family journeyed in the wilderness (1 Nephi 16). In these instances, God’s power enabled food to accomplish more than was naturally possible—underscoring the potential for the miraculous, though always in exceptional circumstances.

Despite its prevalence, there are surprisingly few explicit references to routinely blessing food in official church publications. The Family Guidebook, found on the Church’s website, does advise that parents “see that family members learn to thank God for their food and ask Him to bless it before they eat. Each person, including young children, should take a turn offering the blessing. Offering a prayer for a blessing on the food helps parents and children learn to be thankful to our Heavenly Father.” The emphasis here is on gratitude rather than any specific spiritual or physical effect on the food itself.

A frequently cited admonition came from President Spencer W. Kimball following the Teton Dam Flood: “Never forget to bless the food.” Yet, as with the Guidebook, this seems to refer primarily to the act of praying over food as a form of gratitude rather than invoking a particular formulaic blessing.

In reality, much of the “bless this food” language appears to have arisen as a generational tradition. Countless meals among Latter-day Saints open with nearly identical phrases—a pattern so pervasive, in fact, that omitting it may prompt someone to insist the prayer be repeated. This is not just an English phenomenon; languages across the globe have equivalent expressions, such as the Russian “Bless this food so it will benefit us.”

Yet, not all agree with this common wording. Elder Bruce Porter cautioned against vain repetitions, identifying “Please bless this food to nourish and strengthen my body” as an example of mindless habit rather than meaningful prayer.

For some, the rote recitation risks turning prayer into a checklist item rather than a moment of genuine communication with God. Members such as those writing in the “Ask Gramps” advice column have raised questions like: “Is it necessary to ask God to bless brownies and donuts to nourish us?” The response: if you do not mean it, do not say it. Sincerity is what gives prayer its value, not the formulaic nature of the words. Instead, prayers can focus on gratitude, enjoyment, and appreciation for those who prepared the food, rather than vainly hoping for sugary treats to magically transform into healthy fare.

This view aligns with Christ’s warning against “vain repetitions” (Matthew 6:7). A prayer is supposed to be a moment of authentic connection with a loving Heavenly Father, not an empty ritual.

There are, nevertheless, stories—both historical and contemporary—where blessings on food led members to experience comfort, protection, or even miraculous events. Anecdotes from Church magazines recount instances where children’s faith-filled prayers over food prompted timely spiritual warnings, averting danger. These stories illustrate that the real transformative power lies not in the words themselves but in the faith and dependence on God expressed through prayer.

Another question members face is whether to pray over food in public settings, such as restaurants. The answer given in Latter-day Saint guidance is that it’s ultimately a personal decision based on one’s own comfort and conviction. The scriptural counsel is to always have a prayer in one’s heart (Alma 34:27), and not to be inhibited by fear of others if one genuinely feels impressed to offer thanks.

The pattern of praying for God’s blessing extends beyond food. Many members, especially those facing illness, have wondered whether it is appropriate to pray over daily medication or nutritional supplements. Again, the answer is yes, insofar as it represents a sincere desire for God’s help and acknowledgment of His hand in all things, but without necessarily formalizing such prayers or equating them with priesthood ordinances like the sacrament or healing blessings. The consistent scriptural invitation is to pray always, over all aspects of daily life, seeking God’s guidance and sanctification in whatever we undertake (2 Nephi 32:9; Alma 34:18-27).

The tradition of blessing and breaking bread traces back to the social customs of the ancient world and the accounts in both the Bible and the Book of Mormon. Interestingly, there are differences in historical records about the sequence of blessing and breaking bread. In the New Testament, Christ blesses before breaking (Mark 14:22; Luke 24:30), whereas in the Book of Mormon, He breaks and then blesses (3 Nephi 18:3). Joseph Smith’s translation of Matthew confirms the latter sequence. For the modern Church, the order is generally chosen for practicality and reverence, rather than doctrinal necessity.

Ultimately, the practice of blessing food is not about magical transformation but about cultivating gratitude and mindfulness. For many, reassessing the words and intentions of their prayers has led to deeper worship and heightened awareness of God’s constant generosity. Invitations to step beyond cultural habit into deliberate, authentic communication with God foster a more personal and powerful spiritual life.

Gramps

Gramps,

Should we pray over food in a public setting such as restaurants?

Austin

Answer

Austin,

We should always have a prayer in our hearts. As we read in Alma 34:27:

“Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you.”

But whether to pray or not in a public restaurant is a personal decision. Some feel it the best course. Some do not. I wouldn’t presume to take a position on it.

The only advice I would give is that if one’s reason to not pray is the fear of man, but otherwise one feels he/she should, then to get over that fear and do as one feels is right.

Gramps

Gramps

I have been struggling with this for a few weeks now. Why is it that my sister, who is totally inactive and drinks and smokes and does not attend any church at all, gets everything she needs when she needs it. For example, her husband got a great raise and they are going to be able to pay their bills and move into a very nice home. I, on the other hand, was married in the temple and my husband and I are active. We pay our tithing and we are doing everything as good as we know how to. But we seem to be hitting road blocks everywhere. I have been praying for weeks for my husband to get a raise and it is not happening. Our finances seem to be going down the drain, but my sister is doing very well. Why is this? I thought the Lord blessed those that followed him. I am very discouraged.

Kami

Answer

Dear Kami,

You are undoubtedly better off than you think. Matthew 6:19-21 is worth thinking about for a minute—

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

 

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

 

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

The Lord is telling us that if you think that gaining a little money is a blessing, you need to hit the refresh button.

This same concept is approached in different terminology in D&C 19:38—

Pray always, and I will pour out my Spirit upon you, and great shall be your blessing–yea, even more than if you should obtain treasures of earth and corruptibleness to the extent thereof.

Think a minute–if you are living in such a way as to be blessed with the companionship of the Holy Spirit, that blessing is greater than the treasures of the earth. But look at the coupling–treasures of the earth and corruptibleness! So the fact that your inactive sister is getting some money is actually leading her farther away from the Lord. Is that a blessing?
Now, are you being cursed because you are struggling financially? Quite the contrary!! If you handle it right, such a difficulty can be a great blessing to you. If, rather than complaining because your life is not being eased as is that of your sister, you were to fall on your knees and thank the Lord for the great privilege to struggle a bit to overcome some perceived difficulty, that struggle will strengthen your faith and increase your understanding.

As you may be brought to depend on the Lord for your very sustenance, that developed relationship will stand you in good stead in many situations to come. Through the companionship of the Holy Spirit you will gain blessings that can be attained in no other way. As is revealed to us in D&C 76:5-10:

For thus saith the Lord–I, the Lord, am merciful and gracious unto those who fear me, and delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and in truth unto the end.

 

Great shall be their reward and eternal shall be their glory.

 

And to them will I reveal all mysteries, yea, all the hidden mysteries of my kingdom from days of old, and for ages to come, will I make known unto them the good pleasure of my will concerning all things pertaining to my kingdom.

 

Yea, even the wonders of eternity shall they know, and things to come will I show them, even the things of many generations.

 

And their wisdom shall be great, and their understanding reach to heaven; and before them the wisdom of the wise shall perish, and the understanding of the prudent shall come to naught.

 

For by my Spirit will I enlighten them, and by my power will I make known unto them the secrets of my will–yea, even those things which eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor yet entered into the heart of man.

Now, if you wanted to have more money, and the above blessings are even now within your grasp, how much money would you trade them for? So now, who is rich, you or your sister?

Gramps