Gramps,

Should we make New Year’s resolutions, and how do we keep them?

Pam

Answer

Pam,

The swirl of a new year often brings with it the excitement of fresh starts, a blank calendar, and a determination to improve ourselves. We make lists—be healthier, read the scriptures more, strengthen relationships—hoping resolutions can spark lasting change. Yet, statistics are sobering: as many as 80 percent of resolutions are abandoned by mid-February. Why is lasting change so difficult, and what can make the difference between temporary enthusiasm and lifelong growth?

The universal experience of fizzling out on resolutions is neither new nor unique. Studies highlight that after only a month, one in three people will abandon their New Year’s goals, leaving many to wonder: “Why bother?” This discouragement is amplified by societal messages that demand nothing short of perfection, making failure seem unacceptable.

However, from a gospel perspective, the journey of self-improvement is less about instant perfection and more about steady, persistent effort. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that becoming “perfect” is not about immediate flawlessness but about becoming “complete, finished, fully developed” over a lifetime. Even Christ advanced “grace by grace.” As such, failure is not only expected; it’s an essential part of learning. As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland taught: “No one has failed who keeps trying and praying.”

Instead of treating every missed day as the end, see it as an invitation to begin again. The real power is not in never falling, but in rising each time we do.

What can be done differently to actually follow through on our goals? While secular self-help gurus offer numerous methods, the principles of the gospel, taught by Church leaders, provide a practical, hopeful, and sustaining approach.

1. Start Small and Be Realistic

Grand ambitions are admirable, but the scriptures offer practical caution: “it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength” (Mosiah 4:27). In other words, lasting change should be realistic and incremental. Instead of aiming to radically overhaul your life, break big resolutions into small, manageable steps. This is echoed in behavioral science, which reveals that habits are best formed by starting with “tiny” actions—simple behaviors that are easy to repeat and gradually grow into larger patterns.

For instance, instead of pledging to “read my scriptures for an hour daily,” start by reading a single verse each morning after you brush your teeth. Connect new habits with existing routines—this “trigger” not only serves as a reminder, but it also wires the new habit into your daily flow.

2. Plan Strategically and Set Milestones

Many resolutions crumble because of vague intentions and a lack of specifics. Scripturally, we are taught to “count the cost” before beginning any large endeavor (Luke 14:28-30). Planning the “how”—anticipating obstacles and preparing remedies—dramatically increases your odds of success. Use methods such as SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timely) or HARD (Heartfelt, Animated, Required, Difficult) goals to clarify what you want and how you’ll get there.

Milestones—short-term, measurable achievements—provide motivation and a sense of progress along the way. Instead of a massive, far-off goal, celebrate small wins. Not only does this approach maintain high motivation, but it also fosters self-confidence and momentum.

3. Report, Support, and Stay Accountable

A powerful key to keeping resolutions is reporting regularly to another person—such as a family member, friend, or even a Church leader. The principle of accountability, when combined with encouragement, dramatically boosts follow-through. Research indicates that children are more likely to achieve their goals when parents are engaged, and the same holds for adults when accountability is present.

Embrace the community—share your goals, and let others inspire you and hold you to your commitments. Making progress should not be a solitary journey.

4. Learn from Failure—Then Try Again

Inevitably, setbacks will come. The key is not in preventing every failure, but in learning from each stumble. The Savior’s atonement makes it possible not only to repent but to rise and recommit. As Elder Dale G. Renlund taught, “God cares a whole lot more about who we are and who we are becoming than about who we once were. He cares that we keep on trying.”

Forgiving yourself, adjusting your plans, and starting again—sometimes even daily—is the pattern the Lord expects you to follow. Forming a new habit can take more than two months; persistence—“Try Again Tomorrow”—is crucial.

5. Focus on Adding Good—Not Just Subtracting Bad

Many resolutions focus on stopping undesired behaviors, but the Savior taught to “fill the empty house” with good (see Matthew 12:43-45). Adding positive habits is generally easier and more lasting than simply removing bad ones. Rather than resolving to spend less time on social media, resolve to call a friend or study a scripture each evening. By focusing on the positives, you reinforce desired behaviors and gradually crowd out the negative ones.

Over the years, Church leaders, behavioral researchers, and everyday Latter-day Saints have practiced a variety of goal-setting systems. Here’s a blend of proven approaches:

SMART and HARD Goals

SMART: Set goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

HARD:  Make goals Heartfelt, Animated (tied to your vision for the future), Required (outline steps), and Difficult (stretch your abilities).

Milestone and Quarterly Review

Instead of annual resolutions, set shorter-term milestones with regular reviews. Quarterly check-ins enable adjustments, prevent burnout, and keep progress tangible and measurable.

One Word” Focus

Choose a single word that embodies your main aspiration for the year—like “patience,” “service,” or “faith.” This simplifies focus and can help prevent “analysis paralysis” that comes with overwhelming goals.

Backward Planning

Start with your big goal, break it down into intermediate targets, and then list specific, actionable steps to achieve it. This makes even ambitious aspirations manageable.

Daily Tiny Habits

Borrowing from behavioral science, connect a tiny new action to an existing daily habit—e.g., after you finish dinner, record a thought in a gratitude journal. The simplicity of these “tiny habits” means you’re less likely to quit.

While many goals are health-related or academic, spiritual resolutions are equally vital. Here are a few gospel-centered ideas:

1. Start a Revelation Journal: Record spiritual impressions to grow in your capacity to receive revelation, as President Russell M. Nelson has encouraged.

2. Attend the Temple Regularly: Set a realistic schedule—monthly, quarterly, or annually, depending on circumstances.

3. Practice Gratitude: Make a habit of thanking God and others daily; “he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious.” (Doctrine & Covenants 78:19)

4. Daily Affirmation: Look in the mirror and remind yourself, “I am a beloved child of Heavenly Parents, with a divine nature and eternal destiny.”

5. Improve Ministering: Build genuine connections in your ministering assignments; get to know individuals’ needs and pray for guidance.

The Lord has also taught us to seek His guidance in our goals—pray for confirmation before undertaking major resolutions and rely on divine help when challenges arise.

Goal-setting is not just an adult activity; including children in this process increases their confidence and willingness to try. Encourage children to set their own meaningful goals with your guidance and support. Help them break ambitions into specific, doable steps and celebrate each milestone together. When the whole family is engaged, the process becomes joyful and mutually reinforcing.

Progress—not perfection—is what matters most. Focus on the growth you make, no matter how small. Motivation grows as you witness improvement, so structure goals to provide regular feedback. Even failures are opportunities to learn—and to teach resilience to those around you, especially children.

When you hit a slump, remember to start again with the gospel perspective: “just because we ‘fail’ once doesn’t mean we can’t try again, or that our goal is bad.” Habits are formed over time, and persistence is often the missing ingredient that separates failure from success.

So, as the year unfolds, don’t be discouraged by setbacks. Start small, keep trying, and ask the Lord to walk with you in your efforts. Try again tomorrow—because in the Lord’s eyes, you have not failed until you stop trying.

Gramps

How did Santa become a part of Christmas?

Why do we celebrate Christmas and Easter in the Lord’s Church?

Is celebrating birthdays and Christmas with Santa a sin?

Why do Latter-day Saints celebrate Christmas with inaccuracies?

Why do we celebrate Christmas in December?

How did the wisemen follow the star in the east?

What day of the week was Christ born on?

Dealing with Santa Claus in our Families

How can I let my daughter know that there is no Santa Claus without also destroying her faith in the Savior?

How old was Mary when she gave birth to Jesus?

When was Jesus Christ born?

Was Jesus 2 years old when visited by the wise men?

Why wasn’t Christ considered Joseph’s biological son according to scripture?

Why did the angels go to the shepherds?

Gramps

Dear Gramps,

Why does Easter move if it is meant to be the rebirth of Jesus?

Patricia

Answer

Dear Patricia,

The celebration of Easter has its roots in the early Christian church, where the resurrection of Jesus was commemorated in various ways. Before the Council of Nicea in 325 AD, Christians celebrated Easter on different dates, often coinciding with the Jewish Passover, which is also based on a lunar calendar. The resurrection of Jesus occurred shortly after Passover, making the timing of Easter closely linked to this Jewish holiday. However, the lack of a standardized method for determining the date of Easter led to confusion and division among early Christians.

In an effort to unify the Christian faith and resolve disputes over the date of Easter, Emperor Constantine convened the First Council of Nicea in 325 AD. This council aimed to establish a uniform method for calculating Easter’s date, which had become a contentious issue among different Christian factions. The council ultimately decided that Easter would be celebrated on the first Sunday following the first full moon after the vernal equinox (March 21). This decision was significant because it provided a consistent framework for determining Easter’s date, aligning it with both the lunar calendar and the Christian tradition of celebrating the resurrection on a Sunday.

The formula established by the Council of Nicea means that Easter can fall anywhere between March 22 and April 25. The earliest possible date for Easter is March 22, which occurs when the full moon falls on March 21, and the latest is April 25, when the full moon occurs just before the following Sunday. This variability is what makes Easter a movable feast, unlike holidays that are fixed to a specific date.

The calculation of Easter’s date is deeply rooted in astronomy, particularly the cycles of the moon. The decision to base Easter on the lunar calendar reflects the Jewish tradition, as Passover is also determined by lunar phases. The Jewish calendar is lunisolar, meaning it takes into account both the moon’s phases and the solar year. This duality is essential for understanding why Easter’s date shifts each year.

The vernal equinox, which occurs around March 21, marks the beginning of spring in the Northern Hemisphere. It is the point at which day and night are approximately equal in length. The Church chose this date as a reference point for calculating Easter because it symbolizes renewal and rebirth, themes central to the resurrection of Christ.

The full moon is significant in the Jewish calendar, as it marks the 14th day of the month Nisan, which is when Passover is celebrated. By establishing Easter as the first Sunday after this full moon, a link was created between the resurrection of Jesus and the Jewish Passover, reinforcing the idea that Jesus is the fulfillment of the Passover lamb.

The decision to base Easter on lunar cycles has led to some interesting implications. For instance, the dates of Easter can vary significantly from year to year, leading to instances where Western and Eastern Orthodox Christians celebrate Easter on different dates. The Eastern Orthodox Church continues to use the Julian calendar, which is currently 13 days behind the Gregorian calendar used by most of the Western world. As a result, the two traditions often find themselves celebrating Easter weeks apart, despite the shared significance of the holiday.

While Easter is a Christian holiday, its customs and symbols have roots in pre-Christian traditions. The name “Easter” itself is believed to be derived from “Eastre,” the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring and fertility. This connection highlights how early Christians sought to integrate existing pagan customs into their celebrations to facilitate the conversion of pagan populations.

Two of the most recognizable symbols of Easter—the Easter bunny and Easter eggs—are remnants of these pagan traditions. The rabbit, a symbol of fertility, was associated with the goddess Eastre, while eggs have long been a symbol of rebirth and new life across various cultures. The practice of decorating eggs and exchanging them during springtime predates the Christian celebration of Easter and has been adapted into the modern holiday.

The blending of these traditions illustrates how Easter has evolved, incorporating elements from various cultures while maintaining its core Christian significance. The Easter bunny and egg hunts have become beloved customs, particularly in Western cultures, even as their origins in paganism are often overlooked.

Gramps

Dear Gramps,

If Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, where did Santa come from?

Chris

Answer

Dear Chris,

Yes, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. It  wasn’t until 325 years after his birth that the Roman Emperor made all the people celebrate his birth on the shortest day of the year, called the winter solstice. There was a group of people in the Roman Empire at that time that worshiped the seasons of the year, and so the Roman Emperor changed the date of the Christian holiday that celebrated the birth of Jesus to the date of the Pagan holiday that worshiped the winter solstice. This is one of the things that the emperor did to try to unite all the people in his Empire.

As the years went by lots of different customs that were part of the way of life of Christians in different parts of the world became part of the celebration of Christmas. We have the Christmas tree, Christmas presents, the lights on the tree, the star on the top of the tree, a log burning in the fireplace, and lots of special foods, like fruit cake, cider, turkey, egg nog, etc. that associated with the Christmas season.

Different countries celebrate Christmas in different ways. In some countries where the Catholic Church is the predominant religion, Christmas is a very religious holiday. Instead of giving presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas day, the people go to church and celebrate a midnight mass. The children don’t receive presents until the 6th of January, 12 days after Christmas. This is the time that they celebrate the coming of the Three Kings from the Orient bringing presents to the Christ child. On the 12th day of Christmas the children put their shoes either outside their bedroom doors, or on the doorsteps of their houses, and the Three Kings come by that night and fill the shoes with presents.

Of course, the customs also change in any country as times change. When I was a boy, we went out into the hills in the early part of December and chopped down a Christmas tree and hauled it home on our sled. To decorate the tree, we threaded long strings with pieces of popcorn and cranberries. The alternating red and white made a pretty decoration. We also made chains of red and green pieces of paper by gluing strips of paper into interlocking rings, and we hung them around the tree. We also attached candles onto the branches and lit the candles, something that would never be done today. They were very pretty, but it was a terrible fire hazard, and lots of accidents happened because of it.

The idea of a Santa Claus started a very long time ago in what is now Turkey. Bishop Nicholas of Smyrna (now Turkey), lived in the 4th century A.D. He was very rich, generous, and loving toward children. Often he gave joy to poor children by throwing gifts in through their windows. The Eastern Orthodox Church looked upon St. Nicholas as a miracle worker, and held him in high esteem. It was in his honor that Russia’s oldest church was built.

In the Roman Catholic Church St. Nicholas was the saint who helped children and poor people. In the Roman Catholic Church each saint has a special day. St. Nicholas’ Day is on the 6th of December.

St. Nicholas became known in England as Father Christmas, and in Holland he was called Sinter Klaas. Dutch immigrants brought their Sinter Klaas (Santa Claus) with them to New York in the 17th century. In 1823 Clement Clarke Moore wrote the poem, “The Night Before Christmas,” and that poem did a lot to fix in the minds of the American people the idea of “Santa Claus” and his eight tiny reindeer. The ninth reindeer–Rudolph, the red nosed reindeer–didn’t come along until 1939. He was invented by an advertising writer for the Montgomery Ward Company.

But all of these customs were built up to help us remember that 2000 years ago the Virgin Mary gave birth to a little boy in an obscure village called Bethlehem. She and her husband, Joseph, went there to pay their taxes. So many people went at that time that all the places to stay were filled up and they had to stay in a barn. And that night the little boy they called Jesus was born on a pile of hay that was used to feed the cattle. That little boy grew up to be the Savior of all mankind. When he was only thirty-three years old he was put to death by wicked men. But before he died he suffered to pay for all the wrong things that have been done by all the people that will have ever lived in the world. He did this so that we won’t have to be punished by God for the bad things that we do, if we change our lives and don’t do them anymore.

So Christmas is a very special time to remember the baby Jesus who is now the King of the World and our Lord and Master. We love him as no other and hope that you will learn to love him too,

Gramps

Gramps,

A family member told me that the way we celebrate Christmas is sinful because:

1. Lying about Santa is a sin that should prevent a recommend as it is willful and ongoing.
2. Celebrating anything other than the gospel is a waste of time
3. Christmas trees and Santa are pagan and detract from the true meaning of Christmas

Is there any talk or reference you know of that can refute this?  Taking Santa and Christmas trees out of the holiday just seems wrong.  He also applies the same logic to the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny. How can you spend a childhood without birthdays and Santa? I do not see how these are sinful.  Please advise.

Conflicted

Answer

Conflicted,

In my experience, I have come to notice varying opinions within our church membership regarding the celebration of Christmas and mentioning Santa Claus and other celebrations. This is similar to the varying opinions also regarding other doctrines, activities, and entertainment a church member may participate in.

I would recommend the following readings in order to answer your question appropriately:

1. President Harold B. Lee and his experience with Christmas as a Stake President (I don’t believe he lost his temple recommend for celebrating Christmas).

2. Bishop Vaughn J. Featherstone and one of his experiences with Christmas and Santa Claus.

What holidays a family decides to celebrate is really up to each family and the feelings of their hearts. As such, if a family feels they shouldn’t celebrate Christmas, or celebrate Christmas while not mentioning Santa Claus, then the choice is purely up to them.

I would recommend for any family who celebrates Christmas, Easter, Tooth Fairy, etc., or any other holiday which mentions a fictional character, that when the children come and ask if he/she is truly real, then the parents should be directly honest with their children in a compassionate way.

Gramps