Gramps,

In the afterlife, does an addiction to alcohol or drugs go with them? I was taught, and thought this to be true.  Giving an extra reason for keeping the WOW.  We would be blessed not to have that craving.

AA

Answer

AA,

In Latter-day Saint (LDS) theology, questions about addiction and the afterlife are best understood through the doctrine of the soul, the nature of the spirit world, and the healing power of Jesus Christ. When someone asks whether addictions to alcohol, drugs, or tobacco follow a person into the next life, the answer is nuanced: the physical dependency does not continue, but the underlying spiritual and emotional patterns may persist—at least temporarily—until they are healed through Christ.

To understand why, it helps to begin with how LDS theology defines the human soul. Doctrine and Covenants 88:15 teaches:

The spirit and the body are the soul of man.

This means that many aspects of our mortal experience—including physical cravings and chemical dependencies—are tied to the body. Addiction to substances like alcohol, nicotine, or drugs involves brain chemistry and physical processes. When the body dies, those physical systems stop functioning.

LDS belief holds that at death, the spirit separates from the body and enters the spirit world. Without a physical body, there is no biological mechanism to sustain addiction in its physical form. In that sense, the bodily craving itself does not follow a person into the afterlife.

However, LDS scripture teaches that we carry our character and dispositions with us. Alma 34:34 explains:

That same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life… will have power to possess your body in that eternal world.

This suggests continuity of identity. We do not instantly become completely different people when we die. The habits of thought, emotional wounds, and spiritual tendencies that contributed to addiction may still be present. For example, if someone turned to substances to cope with pain, anxiety, or trauma, those underlying struggles may still need healing.

That might sound discouraging at first—but LDS doctrine quickly pivots to something deeply hopeful.

The spirit world is described as a place of continued learning, repentance, and growth. The Apostle Peter taught that the gospel is preached to those who have died:

For for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead…

This aligns with modern LDS teaching that individuals in the spirit world can continue progressing and receive the blessings of the gospel.

Church leaders have emphasized that many mortal limitations—physical, mental, and emotional—are temporary. President Russell M. Nelson taught:

The Lord has repeatedly taught that He will restore all that is lost.
(The Correct Name of the Church, October 2018 General Conference)

While not speaking specifically about addiction, the principle applies: what is broken in mortality can be made whole through Jesus Christ.

Similarly, Elder Dale G. Renlund explained:

Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, all that is unfair about life can be made right.
(Infuriating Unfairness, April 2021 General Conference)

Addiction often involves elements of unfairness—genetics, environment, trauma, and mental health challenges. LDS theology recognizes that accountability is real, but it is also perfectly balanced by Christ’s understanding and mercy.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland has spoken compassionately about mental and emotional struggles, which often overlap with addiction:

“Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed.”
(“Like a Broken Vessel,” October 2013 General Conference)

This healing doesn’t always happen fully in mortality—but LDS doctrine teaches it will happen through Christ, whether in this life or the next.

Another key doctrine is the resurrection. Eventually, all people will be resurrected, with body and spirit reunited in a perfected, immortal form. Alma 11:43 teaches:

The spirit and the body shall be reunited again in its perfect form… even there shall not so much as a hair of their heads be lost.

This “perfect form” implies that the physical weaknesses and dependencies associated with addiction will not return. The resurrected body is not subject to disease, decay, or chemical addiction.

However, LDS theology also emphasizes that who we become matters. President Dallin H. Oaks taught:

The Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts… but an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become.
(The Challenge to Become, October 2000 General Conference)

That’s why the process of healing from addiction—whether in this life or the next—is so important. It’s not just about stopping a behavior; it’s about becoming whole.

So, does addiction follow someone into the afterlife?

From an LDS perspective:

• The physical addiction ends with the body.
• The spiritual and emotional roots may remain, but they can be healed.
• The Atonement of Jesus Christ provides a complete path to recovery and wholeness, even beyond this life.

This doctrine offers both realism and hope. It acknowledges that struggles don’t magically disappear at death—but it also affirms that no struggle is permanent.

For those worried about loved ones, this teaching can be deeply comforting. God understands every factor involved in addiction, and He provides ongoing opportunities for growth and healing.

And for anyone currently struggling, it sends a powerful message: your efforts matter. Your fight matters. And through Jesus Christ, full healing—body and spirit—is not just possible, but promised.

Gramps

]]> https://askgramps.org/will-those-with-physical-addictions-take-them-into-the-afterlife/feed/ 0 https://askgramps.org/has-heavenly-father-given-up-on-me/ https://askgramps.org/has-heavenly-father-given-up-on-me/#respond Tue, 08 Oct 2019 22:32:38 +0000 https://askgramps.org/?p=46450 Question

Dear Gramps,

I need help. I wrote you before about being gay and angry at Heavenly Father about it. I’m an alcoholic and I’m so afraid that Heavenly Father has given up on me. I have a lot of problems and I don’t know how I can ever come back. I don’t know what to do. Heavenly Father has been so merciful to me in the past but I’m afraid I’ve pushed his patience with me beyond his limit.

Drew

Answer

Gramps

Gramps,

By the grace of the atonement I was able to overcome a drug addiction a number of years ago. A disagreement that my wife and I have always had is that someone who is still involved in their addiction can still receive guidance or promptings from the Holy Spirit. My testimony is that they absolutely can because I have, and I don’t know of an addict that would ever make a change. I was also told in a subsequent Bishop interview that he believed that was the case as well, thanks in advance.

Danny

Answer

Danny,

Let me answer your unasked question: No, you should not be arguing with your wife over this matter. You have a testimony of what happened to you. That’s first-hand experience. If your wife wants to think differently, that’s her prerogative. Whether or not she agrees with you doesn’t change your experiences or testimony even one iota.

Even in our darkest hours the Holy Ghost can guide and direct us if we would but allow Him to do so.

President Russell M. Nelson said:

“When you reach up for the Lord’s power in your life with the same intensity that a drowning person has when grasping and gasping for air, power from Jesus Christ will be yours. When the Savior knows you truly want to reach up to Him–when He can feel that the greatest desire of your heart is to draw His power into your life–you will be led by the Holy Ghost to know exactly what you should do. When you spiritually stretch beyond anything you have ever done before, then His power will flow into you.”

For what it’s worth, I very much believe that the Holy Ghost can influence people even through their weaknesses. If such were not the case, we would all be lost. I also believe that illicit drug usage negatively impacts our ability to receive divine instruction, so I would never recommend that course. But your experience stands as a testimony to you of the power of the atonement, which is the love of God.

Gramps

Gramps,

My husband and I have been married for 18 years, we were sealed 3 and 1/2 years ago. My husband has an addiction problem, it’s like he’s addicted to having an addiction. For 18 years we have barely scraped by, robbing peter to pay Paul, I have asked for help from family, a bishop, friends, and even set up our own budget, it works for a time but nothing permanent. My question is: is divorcing him the right thing, over something as petty as money? I’m so confused.

Angel

Answer

Angel,

The decision whether or not to divorce is a personal one that can only be made between you and the Lord.  It’s not my place or anyone else’s to tell you what to do in this situation.  I recommend prayer, fasting, going to the temple and getting a blessing when pondering such weighty matters as this.

As general advice, I do think most marriages can be saved, but some need outside help.  I have a friend who is a Marriage and Family Therapist and she said she has seen amazing results for couples using Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT).  There are great books available to help marriages, including Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson who created EFT.  However, Dr. Johnson says her book is not for couples who are dealing with addiction (or abuse, or adultery), in these situations therapy is needed.  If you can’t afford therapy, talk to your Bishop.

Something else that stood out to me about what you wrote was that you said your husband has an addiction problem.  This is another red flag pointing out that therapy is needed.  Most addictions need help to be resolved, particularly if he, as you say, is addicted to having an addiction.  I don’t know your husband, but again speaking in general principles, when a person goes from one addiction to another, it is likely that they are doing so in order to cope with pain.  It is an unhealthy coping mechanism but understandable and all too common.  Therapy can really help here.  Therapy can help him learn healthier coping mechanisms, but also work on resolving whatever is cauing him so much pain.

I suggest therapy for you as well.  Being married to someone with an addiction is very taxing, as you well know, and therapy can help you learn to have healthy boundaries to protect you emotionally and mentally…which may include some ideas about how to deal with money issue.   Often there are subconscious reasons that people chose and marry addicts, therapy can help you work out your own issues that brought you to this situation.

Most importantly, I remind you that Christ is the Great Physician, He expects us to do our part, like going to therapy, but He will be with you every step of the way.  Comforting, guiding, directing, and yes, healing your hearts.  Whether the Spirit guides you to stay in your marriage or not, the Lord, through His Holy Spirit will be there to help you take the needed steps to bring peace and joy into your life.

Gramps

Gramps,

I am struggling to forgive my husband after he betrayed me in one of the most intimate ways possible: adultery.  His adultery was through pornography and masturbation. I can only imagine how much greater my pain would be if he had been physically unfaithful. Still, he was adulterous, and the question remains. How do you forgive someone when they have hurt you, betrayed you, so intimately and deeply? I know that to move forward in our marriage, he must repent & I must forgive. But I am so angry.

Kristen

Answer

Dear Kristen,

I mourn with you as you travel through this terrible trial. Please know that you are not alone. Pornography use has been normalized in media for decades and is rubbing off on Christian culture. According to a 2014 Barna Group survey “39% of Christian men and 13% of Christian women say they believe their use of pornography is ‘excessive’,” and “21% of Christian men … say they think they might be ‘addicted’ to pornography or aren’t sure if they are” (as cited by Covenant Eyes (a company that sells an Internet monitoring service promoted by Promise Keepers (a Christian men’s organization comprised of men who want to be faithful disciples of Christ)).

I repeat: you are not alone in this trial. Other women have walked with their husbands through that lonesome valley, feeling themselves divided against their greatest ally. Kilee is one such woman.

http://ldsudso-a.akamaihd.net/66852713001/66852713001_4115234761001_2015-03-1120-what-i-know-now-kilee-1080p-eng.mp4

I found Kilee’s story on the Church’s Addiction Recovery Program site for spouses and family members. Not only does The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have a support program for people trying to overcome their addictions, but they also have one for spouses. If you haven’t already, click on that link and learn about what’s ahead of you. And if you haven’t done so, find a group meeting near you for spouses. You will meet sisters who are in the same place you are. You will meet sisters who have already been where you are now. And in time you can be a comfort and a mentor to other sisters who feel emotionally and spiritually alone.

The pain you feel now, while understandable, makes forgiving and healing tremendously difficult. Jesus Christ, because of His Atonement, can make you whole again. This program is intended to assist you in that journey. I hope you find the peace you need, because there is a grave danger if you don’t. You mentioned that your husband committed adultery through pornography and masturbation. While both are sexual sins, they are not the same. Jesus taught that the man who looks “on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” (3 Nephi 12:27-28, emphasis mine). His heart is in the wrong place (and thus requires repentance), but he has not committed adultery unless there is another woman involved sexually. If we used the same standard of judgment (that the thought, sight, or feeling equaled the very deed) then the anger you feel towards your husband would make you guilty of murder (3 Nephi 12:21-22). I rather think it was more your pain speaking than your true beliefs, because you immediately noted that you would hurt far more if he was actually adulterous. Regardless, forgiveness comes through healing, and healing comes through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Practical steps and a support group through this process can be found through the addiction recovery program for spouses and family members.

Gramps

Gramps,

We have been dating for 14 months. He served a mission, attends the temple, has always been active. About 4 months into our relationship I discovered that he has an addiction to pornography. He is in frequent contact with our bishop to discuss where he is at with his addiction. He attends the A.recovery program at the church. He also has no clue that I know any of this. I know only because he left his journal on his desk (bad,I know.) I am terrified of what I could be getting myself into. Any thoughts?

Roxy

Answer

Dear Roxy,

I am very sorry that this is happening to you right now. Watching a loved one deal with any kind of addiction, if it be drugs, alcohol, tobacco or porn is always a heartbreaking situation. Like all addictions (including pornography), the person using the substance to what they are addicted to not only hurts themselves (it does), it hurts everyone they are surrounded by and it hurts the ones they are closest to the most. The addict is not a bad person, but they are dealing with a sickness.

Fourteen months is a long time to be dating someone, but as you are finding out it’s not enough time to know everything about them. When you enter into a marriage and start living with someone, you are bound to find out things about them that you don’t agree with and might be troubling or frustrating to you. Sometimes these things are a minor annoyance-like if your future spouse snaps her bubble gum or if your future husband snores. Sometimes they are more serious, like having a porn addiction or a violent temper.

If you do get married, this is where you could be in 5 years:  How do I support my husband who has a porn addiction?  Keep in mind that you are dating, but not married to your boyfriend. If this is too much for you to handle, you should do both of you a favor and see others. Marriage is a great opportunity to learn and practice Christian virtues, but should not be entered into on the hope that discipleship will one day come.

There is a Church owned website, Overcoming Pornography through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It’s a great source for not only those who have the addiction, but for those who are dealing with a spouse or other family member who struggles with this.

An addiction can never be cured. You might have heard the phrase “Once an addict, always an addict.” While it can’t be cured, it can be managed. It takes a lot of hard work and a lot of discipline on the part of the addict. It also helps to have a lot of family support. It sounds like your boyfriend is doing the right thing here-he is meeting with his bishop, he is going to group therapy-he is on the right track. He is not in denial about his addiction and he is trying to get better. It sounds to me that he is a decent young man who knows what he has to work on. Maybe it would be best to tell him what you found out (and how you found it out) and make him aware that you know about his struggles. No matter what the outcome is, he might be happy that both you and him and communicate on a level where nothing is hidden.

You are in my prayers.

Gramps

Dear Gramps,

My husband of 5 years is addicted to pornography. He told me about it while we were dating but I thought it would be a non-issue if we married because then his needs would be met within the marriage. It didn’t even occur to me that this would carry on into marriage.  My husband has not viewed it in months. He has been advised to talk to me because a wife can be an addict’s best support. But when he tells me deep pain comes with it. I feel greatly betrayed, heartache and sorrow to the point where I can’t hide it while he is opening up. He feels anger and resentment towards me for not supporting him. I want to support him in all his righteous efforts but I feel so much pain from it. I don’t understand how I can support him on something that is hurting me so much. I don’t know how to not be hurt. Do you have any advice?

Jennifer

Answer

Jennifer,

I am sorry that you and many others like you are hurting because of a spouse’s addiction and/or habits with pornography. You have asked how can you not be hurt and that is a very hard question to answer in the limited space we have. I would recommend that you try to find a support group for people whose spouses are struggling with this issue. In such a group you can begin to understand that you are very much not alone with this problem and see how others are handling it to get better ideas and understanding.

I will seek to address but one issue of the many that are present here. You need to understand that your spouse’s porn use is not about you. Let me repeat that. It is not about you. You think it is. You thought that marriage would make the problem go away. It did not and so now you take every relapse of your husband as a personal failure with you. You assume that if you were only sexier, more desirable, more skilled, or whatever, then your husband would have no desire for anything else. This is the wrong messages to be telling yourself and I believe it is a big cause for why it hurts you so much.

But it is not about you, you can not make this magically go way for your husband. If he is addicted then he has re-wired his brain chemistry to respond and seek out the stimulus of porn. It was done before you met and it will most likely take professional help to undo it.

If it is not at the level of addiction, then it is most likely that your husband has turned to it to cope with stress and feel like he has some measure of control over his life. Add to that a strong sex drive and your husband has a habit whose underlying cause is masked. The need to deal with stress and feel like you have some control over your life many times become even more important after you are married then it was before. If this is the case then your husband has poor coping skills and needs to learn new ones before the problem can really go away. Because in times of stress he will turn to what he knows works until he learns a better way.

Hopefully as you learn that your husband’s faults in this issue are not your fault you will be able to gain the insight needed to be less hurt by your husband’s struggles. Then when your pain is much lesser and you understand it is up to him and not you, then you are in a better position support him in his effort to break free. Encouraging scripture study, prayer, both individually and together, plus just being there for him can go a long way to help him get free of this problem, but you need to have a better understanding of what it is you can and can not do for him.

Gramps

I have a lovely daughter who loves the Lord and does her best to bless the lives of others. Recently she met an RM who was addicted to pornography for many years. He is clean for the first time in his adult life and wants to pursue a relationship with her. He is a bright young man with many good qualities. My first instinct is to tell her to run away as fast as she can. On the other hand, what good is Christ’s atonement if people are unable to repent and change their lives? Thoughts?

Concerned Mom

____________

Concerned Mom,

So many times we react to other’s sins as though they were committed against us personally. So many times we mentally write off people who fall victim to temptation as ‘incurable’. Before I go any further, picture in your mind everything you know factually about the young man. Everything that you know is but a mere fraction of what Christ knows about that man. Now I want to ask you a question. Do you think Christ has written him off, or would encourage prospective spouses to ‘run away as fast as [they] can’?

It is true that pornography is a deviously persistent addiction. However, knowing that as you do, remember that he has risen to stand against that addiction. Clearly he hasn’t written himself off. Rather the opposite, he has turned to his faith in Christ to overcome quite possibly one of the most difficult addictions we face in this life. Rather than seeing his life as problematic, I look at the young man and see someone who refused to give up, and were he my own son, I would be extremely pleased with his determination and faith.

Now I want to put myself in your shoes for a moment. I would sit my daughter down and have a very calm discussion about the young man. I would ask her how comfortable she is with him, knowing what she knows about his struggles. As she seeks to help others, would she be willing to help the young man shoulder his continuing battle against his addiction? Would she remain positive and supportive of him in the wake of a possible relapse? These are the real questions that need to be asked.

The young man’s past is what it is, and there’s no changing it, however he has changed himself to leave the past where it is. If he is to be ultimately successful, he cannot have too much positive support around him to maintain his good standing before Heavenly Father. I see your daughter’s possible involvement in his life as a very good, and necessary, support against a possible relapse.

One final gentle reminder; we are not to sit in judgement of each other, that is not our duty. None of us are pure and clean from sin enough to have that calling. I understand the social stigma in the church today about pornography, and regarding the material itself, it cannot be overstated. At the same time, those who fall to such temptations are never to be looked down upon or discarded in any sense. As you have stated, the atonement provides a path to full and complete forgiveness for all sin, and we all have need of that cleansing.

I say let her decide for herself whether she wants a relationship with the young man, and encourage her to be prepared to help him so long as he maintains his will to stay free of his past weaknesses. Addictions of any type are difficult to master, and there may well be times he falters here and there. The more good people he has around himself, the smaller and shorter the relapses will be. If she is willing to help take on that fight, I see no reason she shouldn’t become more involved in his life, If that’s what she wants to do.

Gramps

Gramps,

I recently read an answer in which you stated that one should not consume something, even if it is healthy, if they cannot get through the day without it. I understand that there are limits, as anyone knows that even if you don’t NEED alchohol, it is still bad for you. But does this mean that caffeine in small and not frequent is okay?

Jamie

Answer

Jamie,

Caffeine is a stimulant, and can be found in some prescription medicines. As such, it is not forbidden, because medicine is intended to increase our health.

The trick comes in at ‘small amounts’. What exactly is a ‘small amount’? One can of Pepsi every other day? Perhaps some tea on occasion? This line of thought strikes me as a ‘how close can I get to the line without crossing’ approach. Instead we ought to be avoiding the line by as wide a margin as possible.

It is common knowledge that caffeine can be habit-forming for many people. Why take the risk? What can caffeine give you that you cannot obtain any other way?

My personal take is this; our bodies don’t need it unless we give it so much it learns to depend upon it rather than use the natural chemicals made by the body itself. I’d rather let my body work the way it was meant to instead of depend upon outside chemicals to do it.

Gramps

I have a daughter who have a serious drug addiction to meth. My question is, has she lost her free agency at any certain point because of the drug addiction?

Tammy

Dear Tammy,

I am very sorry to hear about your daughter’s addiction. Before I answer your question I want you to first remember that with God, all things are possible, including overcoming an addiction.

By it’s very nature, addiction is surrendering one’s free agency to something. That could be drugs, pornography, nicotine, alcohol and many other things. So in a sense, yes, a person free agency can be lost. However, we need to keep in mind the first three steps in all 12 Step Groups; First is to accept that we are powerless over our addiction and that our life has become unmanageable, second is to believe a power greater than ourselves can restore us and three, and this is the step about agency, that we decide to turn our will and our lives over to God the Father and Jesus Christ. (LDS Family Services: Addiction Recovery Manual, iv) So while your daughter has surrendered her agency over to meth, she can shift and surrender her agency over to our Father in Heaven and Christ. It is possible, I’ve personally seen it happen with many people. Some people who seemed like a lost cause but have persevered and won the battle over their addiction.

So don’t give up hope for your daughter. Keep on loving her. See if there is an LDS Addiction Recovery Group nearby and if they, or a Narcotics Anonymous group have an Al-Anon meeting that you can attend. Also, read When a Loved One Struggles with Addiction by Corrie Lynne Player in the January 2005 Ensign, and also M. Russel Ballard’s talk titled O That Cunning Plan of the Evil One from the October 2010 General Conference.

Addictions are a trap that is possible to get out of so long as we constantly pray and love the addicted one, and the addict reaches out for help and put’s the Atonement to work in their life.

Gramps

Carla

——————————————————————————

Carla,

In doing some research regarding guarana, I learned that it is native to the Amazon basin and very common in Brasil. It contains about twice the amount of caffeine as found in coffee beans. While some have found it to be an effective stimulant not only for cognitive functions but for weight loss, there have not been enough studies on it to show what effect or risk it would have regarding heart attacks or strokes.

So while I’m not an expert on caffeine, I’d like to offer you a different perspective to your question.

In keeping with the guidance of the Word of Wisdom, we should not become ‘addicted’ to any substance. If you can’t get through the day without having a shake, then I suggest that the shake could be bad for you. If you can’t get through the day without a cheeseburger, then you shouldn’t have cheeseburgers.

We need to take good care of our bodies, but we don’t need others to decide every little thing for us. I myself, drink a cola every now and then. I’ve had an energy drink on occasion as well. But I don’t have cravings when I go without them for a period of time. I might want one, but that’s not the same as having cravings or going through withdrawals.

Let’s also not forget all the “do’s” in the Word of Wisdom. Have lots of grains, fruits and vegetables. Eat meat sparingly. (Okay, I can really get into a large rack of beef ribs.)

Make good choices. Try out the shakes. If you get “the shakes” (pun intended), then you should probably give up the shake mix as it might not be good for you.

•  Marijuana is an herb from the earth.
• It’s not specifically prohibited in the Word of Wisdom as “tobacco” is
• Marijuana its better than tobacco anyway
• Use of anything in moderation is ok
• There are overweight people on the church that have very obvious addictions to food and they’re permitted to go to the temple why wouldn’t I be?
• Marijuana relaxes the mind and doesn’t cause impairment of judgment.

I stand strong on my conviction that marijuana is harmful for the mind, the body and is prohibited on the scriptures. I don not agree with him using it. What do you think?

Angelica

Dear Angelica,

It can be a very sad thing when someone we care about chooses to sin. And it is a natural reaction of many sinners to try to justify why their sin ‘isn’t so bad.’ I sympathize and support you in your stance.

Marijuana is currently listed as a Schedule 1 drug by the FDA. Meaning it is totally Illegal. There is a strong push to move it to a Schedule 2 or lower. This can be seen in the various state level of voter approved medical Marijuana laws. But even those require a valid medical reason and Doctor approval. Which is sounds like your husband does not have.

This means he is breaking the law of the land as well as the Word of Wisdom.

I am not going to break down his points, because I have no desire to feed his attempts to justify himself. On the subject of the Word of Wisdom the general authorities have clearly stated that drug use with out medical reason is a violation. And at it’s best case Marijuana a drug that requires professional medical dispensing.

Gramps