Hi Gramps,

I have been suffering from depression and anxiety most of my life.  I don’t know if the Lord will remove it in this life or the next. It has been a struggle for me as well as for my marriage. I love Elder Holland’s talk from a few conferences ago. It is incredibly difficult to deal with.  I love the Lord and try to do what is expected of me, such as reading scriptures and praying, but I feel that at times my prayers seem to hit a ceiling.

Jann

Answer

Jann,

When we face the storms of life, some questions press on the soul with exceptional weight: What happens after death, especially for those who suffer with depression, anxiety, or have died by suicide? Within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, these are not just theological riddles, but deeply personal concerns that touch the lives of countless individuals—both those who struggle and the loved ones who bear witness to their trials.

While misunderstandings and stigmas about mental health or suicide have burdened religious communities historically, the teachings of the Church offer a message of hope, healing, and infinite compassion.

One frequently misunderstood scripture comes from Alma 34:34 in the Book of Mormon:

“for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world.”

On the surface, this verse can cause distress, especially for those grappling with mental health struggles—does it mean that depression, anxiety, or trauma “follow us” after we die? The context, however, clarifies its message.

Amulek, the speaker in Alma 34, is not warning about mental health conditions, but about the necessity of repentance in this life. His teaching is that a person who cherishes sin or refuses to change will not suddenly become righteous after death—it’s about spiritual disposition and moral agency, not about involuntary suffering or disorders stemming from trauma. If someone also felt depressed because, for example, that person had violated the Law of Chastity, then yes, that is a depression that would continue even into the next life until repentance occurs. However, as you know, PTSD is caused by trauma, and often brings with it depression and anxiety. That is likely about the sins of someone else, not you, so this scripture does not apply to your PTSD and related feelings.”

This distinction is critical. Depression or PTSD are not sins; they are illnesses or wounds—often the consequences of trauma endured, not wrongs committed. The Church’s teachings are clear: the scriptural warnings are not addressed to the mentally ill, but rather to those who are willfully rebellious.

Hebrews 9:27 reiterates, “And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.” This affirms that our mortal life is our period of testing, as Abraham 3:25 declares: “We will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command.” There is no doctrine of reincarnation or a second round at mortality for those who suffer or die tragically. Instead, this life is our proving ground.

Few topics create as much anxiety for families as the fate of those who have died by suicide. Centuries of misinformation have stoked fears that suicide is a unique or unforgivable sin, or that those who die in such a manner suffer dire consequences in the world to come.

The teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in contrast, are grounded in profound mercy and understanding of mental suffering. Alma 40:11-12 offers this description:

“The spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, … are taken home to that God who gave them life. And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, … a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.”

Crucially, Church leaders and scriptures emphasize that we cannot judge the accountability of those who die by suicide. Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote:

“Persons subject to great stresses may lose control of themselves and become mentally clouded to the point that they are no longer accountable for their acts. Such are not to be condemned for taking their own lives. It should also be remembered that judgment is the Lord’s; he knows the thoughts, intents, and abilities of men; and he in his infinite wisdom will make all things right in due course.”

President Joseph F. Smith’s vision recorded in Doctrine & Covenants 138 further clarifies that work for the redemption of the dead—including those who died in darkness or bondage—continues beyond the grave. “The dead who repent will be redeemed, through obedience to the ordinances of the house of God, … and after they have paid the penalty of their transgressions, and are washed clean, shall receive a reward according to their works, for they are heirs of salvation.”

This theological perspective does not minimize suffering, but assures that ultimate judgment belongs to God—one who possesses infinite tenderness and perfect knowledge of each soul’s struggle, capacity, and circumstances.

For those weighed down by mental illness, chronic sadness, or the trauma-induced darkness that can feel unending, The Church’s teachings offer not only doctrinal clarity but genuine, attainable hope.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s landmark address “Like a Broken Vessel” addressed head-on the reality of depression, anxiety, and mental illness within covenant-keeping disciples: “I testify of the holy Resurrection, that unspeakable cornerstone gift in the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ! … I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that will be!”

He continues, offering comfort to all who feel trapped in unending pain: “The day will come when you no longer struggle with PTSD, depression, and anxiety. … You will feel peace, joy, and freedom from triggers again. … Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.”

The core promise of the gospel is not merely spiritual renewal, but literal healing and restoration of both mind and body. The resurrection will raise in power that which was sown in weakness—no scar, no pain, no clinical diagnosis will remain. For individuals who have endured mental suffering, and for their families, this promise is extraordinary.

Perhaps one of the most hopeful doctrines found in Church teachings is the ongoing opportunity for learning, growth, and healing in the life to come. President Joseph F. Smith’s vision affirmed that the faithful continue to preach repentance and redemption among those “under the bondage of sin in the great world of the spirits of the dead.”

This means that even for those whose earthly experiences ended in darkness or despair, the story isn’t finished. The plan of salvation continues to operate, and repentance, progress, and healing remain possible. Church authorities repeatedly caution against presuming either the condemnation or the salvation of those who die by suicide; such matters belong firmly in the hands of a perfectly just and merciful God.

For families and friends mourning loved ones lost to suicide, this doctrine is a lifeline. It removes the burden of judgment or fear, instead calling for trust in God’s wisdom and compassion. We are not to judge others as to their potential for salvation or not, nor can we anticipate who the Lord will and will not accept into His kingdom. We do not know the state of others’ minds or their level of accountability. So we leave that to God.

The journey of mental illness, anxiety, or grief over the suicide of a loved one can be long and heartbreaking. Yet, according to the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there is every reason for hope.

Neither depression nor trauma are eternal scars. In Christ, all things are made new. Judgment is in the hands of a loving Savior who knows every secret sorrow. The next life offers restoration, reconciliation, and the realization of peace and joy that may seem impossible now.

As Elder Holland concluded: “Believe in miracles. … Hope is never lost.”

No one is condemned for suffering, no soul is lost for struggling, and no loving God would deny healing to those wounded in the battle of mortality. Brighter days ahead are not just possible, they are divinely promised.

If you, or someone you love, struggles with depression or thoughts of self-harm, reach out for help. The trials you face do not define eternity, and hope—both here and hereafter—remains.

Gramps

Gramps,

Will those who struggle with mental illness still struggle after they die?

Ginger

Answer

Ginger,

This is a great question, and from our scripture we have nothing to really answer this question (specific to mental illness); however, we do have insight from a general standpoint that does answer this question (to a degree). Let’s review some scriptures that generally respond to this question:

1. Jacob 2:8, “And it supposeth me that they have come up hither to hear the pleasing word of God, yea, the word which healeth the wounded soul.” (emphasis mine).

2. Mormon 9:14, “And then cometh the judgment of the Holy One upon them; and then cometh the time that he that is filthy shall be filthy still; and he that is righteous shall be righteous still; he that is happy shall be happy still; and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still.” (emphasis mine)

3. 1 Nephi 11:31, “And he spake unto me again, saying: Look! And I looked, and I beheld the Lamb of God going forth among the children of men. And I beheld multitudes of people who were sick, and who were afflicted with all manner of diseases, and with devils and unclean spirits; and the angel spake and showed all these things unto me. And they were healed by the power of the Lamb of God; and the devils and the unclean spirits were cast out.” (emphasis mine)

It seems when we are resurrected we will be resurrected according to the same thoughts we currently have. The scripture #2 highlights this generally by saying “he that is happy shall be happy still”. The other two verses highlight two items of importance: 1) The word of God heals the wounded soul (mental illness can be described as a heart, mind, or soul that is wounded), and 2) We are “healed by the power of the Lamb of God.”

When we are resurrected, and have been gifted to rise in the morning of the first resurrection we will be those who will inherit eternal life (exaltation). We will be those who have been covered by the blood of Christ. Perfection will continue to be a process through the atonement of Jesus Christ. This means, if we are still unhappy due to some result in this earth life, we will eventually be able to overcome all our impurities through Christ. Eventually, our hurt will be overcome with the joy given by the gift of repentance.

We will also no longer be tempted by the adversary. We will be able to see things as they really are, and as such, mental illness will be a part of our past. We will become more and more like our Savior and as such more and more like our Father in heaven. As one who has struggled greatly with his own self-worth in this life I look forward to the time where this will not be the case. In saying that though, we still need to do our part here to seek to overcome through the Lord’s Atonement. We need to trust in his mercy, grace, and love. We need to trust in the enabling power of the Atonement. This way, when we are restored it will also be our nature to overcome through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Initially, it seems like we will still struggle with something (as we aren’t perfect). As we progress though, we will eventually lose this struggle as Satan will no longer be able to tempt or to try us. We will only have the love of our Savior, and in that love mental illness will slow fade into happiness. Not because we ourselves are great, but because the Lord is true and faithful.

Gramps

Gramps,

In Alma 34 it says, “for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world.”

I suffer from PTSD, anxiety, and depression. Does this mean I’ll suffer from these trials after I die?
Anna

Answer

Dear Anna,

Thank you for asking.  I hope that I can say something here that will be helpful.  I am sorry that you have to deal with PTSD, anxiety and depression; they are very difficult trials.

Regarding this scripture, it is important to take what is said here in the context it was given.  This is Amulek speaking.  His general topic is repentance.  He says:

33 And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed.

 

34 Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world.

 

35 For behold, if ye have procrastinated the day of your repentance even until death . . .

So I understand him to be saying you can’t enjoy your sins now and think you will do some last minute repenting and all will be well.  When we sin we experience guilt, which is a reminder that we need to change our behavior.  If someone also felt depressed because, for example, that person had violated the Law of Chasity, then yes that is a depression that would continue even into the next life until repentance occurs.

However, as you know PTSD is caused by trauma, and often brings with it depression and anxiety.  That is likely about the sins of someone else not you, so this scripture does not apply to your PTSD and related feelings.  The Lord has spoken to us on the issue of depression through Elder Holland and his wonderful talk, Like a Broken Vessel.  I recommend that you read the whole article, print it out and keep a copy close by.  Read it again and again.  I will just share a part of it here that relates specifically to your question:

“I testify of the holy Resurrection, that unspeakable cornerstone gift in the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ! With the Apostle Paul, I testify that that which was sown in corruption will one day be raised in incorruption and that which was sown in weakness will ultimately be raised in power. I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that will be! I do not know whether we will be happier for ourselves that we have witnessed such a miracle or happier for them that they are fully perfect and finally “free at last.””

The day will come when you no longer struggle with PTSD, depression and anxiety.  Sometimes it can feel like the depression will last forever, but don’t believe it.  You will feel peace, joy and freedom from triggers again.  I hope that time will come in this life.  It has for others I know that have similar struggles.  Until then Elder Holland says:  “Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.”

I also think you will benefit from Elder Holland’s testimony given here at the end of a CES lecture, and this beautiful song.  (The title of the talk was Lessons from Liberty Jail)

Trust in brighter days ahead, Anna, they will come.  That is our Savior’s promise.

Gramps

Gramps,

Hi, for the past year, I have had many instances of very uncommon personal revelation for my age (16). I suffered terrible depression, so much so that I became suicidal. I believe this was Satan trying to destroy me from hearing God’s message. Now I know this is very, very rare, but hear me out: Through out my depression, I received multiple very clear revelations defining my life. I have been told what career path I need to take, and I even who am specificaly supposed to marry, is this normal?

Austin

Answer

Dear Austin,

I’m very sorry to hear about your depression and suicidal ideation.  I would caution you not to write it off as Satan’s influence.  Elder Holland recently gave a talk about depression called, A Broken Vessel.  It’s a wonderful talk, and I recommend you read the whole thing.  For now, I would like to highlight two portions of his advice to those who struggle with depression.

First, he said,

“Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings.”

You asked me about your personal revelation, but I can’t give you an answer about that except to say talk it over with your Bishop and get a blessing.  I think that is the best way to find the answers you seek.

Second, Elder Holland counseled:

“If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation.”

Talk to your Bishop about seeing a therapist.  A therapist would be another great resource to help you sort out all you are dealing with.

I’ll close with one more quote by Elder Holland :

“Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.”

I pray those happier days come quickly for you,

Gramps

Gramps,

Over the last several of years I have had a few friends take, what they think is, the easy way out. This is devastating for all those left behind. A few have them are members, some not. Most of them I served with in the military and had a great deal of pain and anguish from deployments. Mental and physical wounds were severe. While others are just cursed with a mind that has turned against them in one form or another. I too suffer. What are the Lord’s and the Church’s views on suicide?

Bradley

Answer

Bradley,

I’m sorry that you have lost friends to suicide.  Yes, it is devastating for those left behind, enough so to cause PTSD in some. I have also heard of loved ones of people who commit suicide taking their own lives. It’s always hard to lose a loved one to death, but even more tragic when the cause is suicide.

I would caution you though not to judge that they were taking what they saw as “the easy way out”.  Unless we have been suicidal we can’t know what that feels like, and even if we have–each person is different.  The church leaders have said: Although it is wrong to take one’s own life, a person who commits suicide may not be responsible for his or her acts. Only God can judge such a matter.

Suicide

I have spoken with a few people who have been suicidal, and a few who have attempted suicide.  A common theme that arises is the irrationality of their thinking processes during those moments.  I truly do not think most people who come to that point are in a rational state of mind, and this may be why our leaders have said they “may not be responsible”.

You mentioned that you suffer as well.  I hope that you have loving and understanding family members, friends and a supportive Bishop. If thoughts of suicide come to your mind, please talk to someone right away. The National Suicide Hotline phone number is 1-800-273-8255.

Another common theme I find in talking to people that have contemplated suicide is that things do get better and they are all grateful they didn’t follow through on those thoughts.  Through Jesus Christ there is always hope, even when we can’t see any way things could improve.  Keep your hope in Christ, Bradley.  I am sorry for your pain.

Gramps

Gramps,

My wife and I have been married for about a year and we have been to the temple a few times. I really feel like I am not receiving the full benefits of marriage by not going to the temple. I have severe claustrophobia that causes me to have panic attacks in the temple.   What would you recommend?

Tyler

Answer

Dear Tyler,

I recommend going to the temple. You’ve been able to go to the temple before and receive the ordinances. I find that we can often endure tremendous difficulties if we know that it serves a higher purpose. I imagine that was the case when you received your own ordinances in the house of the Lord – you had a testimony that the blessings you would obtain in receiving the saving ordinances are greater than the discomfort you feel in some of the small rooms.

If the discomfort is too great, I would encourage you to set aside some time and spend it in one of the open areas of the temple. Read the scriptures. Particularly the ones that lay the foundation for temple service and the doctrines taught in the temple. Ponder on the ordinances you have received and what your place is as a savior on Mt. Zion. As you get more comfortable, participate in the ordinances that are in more open rooms, like the endowment or baptisms. From there, work your way towards sealings and initiatories.

If you need additional motivation to get you to the temple, work on your family history. Don’t just get dates. Get to know your departed family members who are waiting for their work to get done. Knowing their lives and your connection to them will motivate you to stand as their proxy. You can again find a cause greater than your discomfort that will bless your life and others.

Gramps

Dear Gramps,

I spent some time reading messages on this website trying to find answer on my problem and I wasn’t able to do so. Maybe that is because of complexity of my problem, and yet again, maybe my problem has no solution. I was exposed to LDS teachings for quite some time, and the Truth has been revealed to me. The problem is that I simply do not believe in it, nor I can make myself to believe in it. I have tried everything, but it doesn’t work. I am very depressed these days and I’m considering getting a shrink just for this matter. What should I do? Please help.

Charlie

Answer

Charlie,
If I have understood you correctly, you are experiencing the effects of doubt although you have expressed, “the Truth has been revealed to me.” It appears, to me, your situation is similar to a friend telling you a “truth,” the truth is confirmed, and yet for some reason you still don’t want to accept it, i.e. “Charlie the grass is green; although, the grass is actually a combination of colors, yellow and blue.” Charlie responds, “Correct, green is the combination of yellow and blue, confirmed — but I don’t believe it.” Confused?

If the truth has been revealed, then live it. Our personal belief will evolve and eventually accept the revealed truth as we actively participate in what has been revealed. Other members of the Church experience similar conflicts, and without these conflicts our testimony is unable to grow. Live what has been revealed.

Gramps

Rachael

__________________

Rachael,

The scripture you are speaking of is found at Doctrine and Covenants 122:7-9, which informs us that trials bring experience, and are for our own good. In addition we have other scriptures which a person who is struggling through trials may read: Romans 5:1-6, Jacob 2:8, Doctrine and Covenants 121:7.

If you are feeling your friend is “losing faith” please recognize she may be familiar with the verses you are about to share, and as such, they may not have the desired affect you hope. If your friend is “losing faith” then she is probably struggling with her feelings of “worth” before God. She may be wondering if God loves her, and if he loves her then he doesn’t “favor” her, why else would she be struggling or having these trials? Her heart may look upon others who are not struggling, who are not experiencing the same difficulties, and think they are favored and loved causing her to endure more discomfort and possibly confirming inner thoughts she may be having.

If you want to help your friend help her to understand God loves her, and that she is of worth to him. Pray and seek to know her heart and what will ultimately influence her to do good and continue faithful. Sometimes people do not need to hear a scripture, they only need to know they are loved by people who have a listening heart and mind.

Gramps

Aimee

_______________

Aimee

I want to be very careful in how I answer your question. First of all let me tell you that I cannot express in words alone how much I despise abuse of any kind. It is the worst display of the sins of pride, selfishness, arrogance, and hate among many others.

Next, let me assure you that nowhere in my answer will I pretend to understand even a portion of what you have gone through, let alone other members of your family. The kind of pain, suffering, and sorrow such actions bring should never be felt by anyone.

Now let me introduce a scripture in answer to you, then we can talk about it.

Doctrine & Covenants 64:8-10

8 My disciples, in days of old, sought occasion against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely chastened.

9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.

Aimee, I assure you I would never make excuses for an abuser. However your question doesn’t really rest on the abuser. It is clear to everyone involved that what happened was wrong. Your question is simply, ‘how should victims respond to such people?’. What you are seeing between your mother and her sister are two different ways to respond. Your mother simply says “That’s the way guys are.” I personally think that this may be a common coping tool, but it’s far from true, nor should it be accepted as true. Your aunt has done the much more difficult thing and as you say, found a way to forgive him.

Now, is such forgiveness a slap in the face? Perhaps to some it might be, however it is also obeying the commandment of Christ. I think it is wonderful that she has been able to do such a thing. I would further hope that your grandfather (and whomever your abuser is) is able to obtain forgiveness from God for such dark sins. I assure you such forgiveness is possible.

Aimee, at the end of the day, all sin will be paid for. We will either suffer for our own sins, or we will take advantage of the Atonement Christ offers us. He has already paid the price, and all he asks in return is living our lives according to his standards. Any one of us can obtain that gift after sufficient humility and repentance is offered. This includes your grandfather.

Speaking to you personally, I sincerely hope you find a way free of the abuse you are enduring. I further hope you find the peace in Christ available to you to forgive your abuser when the time is right. None of us can approach the Celestial Kingdom with hatred in our hearts. We must leave such burdens behind us in this life as much as possible. This is exactly why Christ said what he said in verse 10 above.

Gramps

1) What can I learn from these illness’s?

2) Why would I choose this in the pre-mortal life? I guess I am wondering what kind of a spirit I was to choose this life?

3) It is difficult for me to learn and remember things. Will what I have read stay in my brain and count as knowledge in the next life?

I have a strong testimony of the gospel and live worthily of all the commandments. Thank you for your help.

Jan

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Jan,

I have had a few friends whose life struggles have been similar to your own. I sympathize with you and wish you the best. These three questions you ask cover a wide range, but the first two have the same answer: ask. The lessons your Heavenly Father would have you learn are best taught by Him and His methods. I can give you some things to ponder, but these lessons are ones that I’ve learned, not you. They were intended for my life, not yours. The Spirit has spoken of their importance to me, not you. Ultimately, these questions are about you. Your Father knows you from the beginning. He can tell you what your specific lessons are and what His plans are for your life. If your questions are not answered right away, you may want to ask for the essentials. Let me clarify.

President Henry Eyring’s father was a prominent scientist who drastically changed the models used in the world of chemistry. He was a faithful Latter-day Saint who struggled with the doctrine of a literal resurrection. We live in universe where entropy reigns and atoms are used, reused, and reused again. How, he wondered, can they all be brought back together in the proper order? How are these recycled elements to be organized if they belonged to multiple persons at some point during mortality? He never got an answer to his questions; instead, as he sat pondering, it became plain to him that the Lord truly has the power and the order to make the resurrection a reality. He was not told the how, he was told it was true – and THAT was the knowledge that he really needed.

1) You can learn “that the works of God should be manifest in” you (John 9:3). You can see that those healthy, happy individuals in church that have it all usually don’t, and still yearn for saintly company and nourishing by the good word of God. You can learn that God doesn’t ask for it all, he asks for your all – whatever that may be. You can learn that magnifying your calling doesn’t mean to increase work, but rather to do everything the Lord asks of you (if the Lord only asks you to share a brief message and a testimony, you don’t need to bake cookies and make a bookmark to remember the lesson by). You can learn that if you can’t emotionally or physically make it through the day without calling upon God for assistance; you can’t make it spiritually through the day without also inviting Him into your home. You can learn patience as you help others understand your struggles for the first time. I had a friend whose Bishop thanked her for the many conversations they had about her struggles because he was then better able to help some shyer members who faced the same challenges. You can learn to be more forgiving of others when they fall short of your expectations because you understand what it’s like to have a willing spirit with weak flesh.

Ultimately though, through pondering and prayer, you need to find out from your Father what you need to learn. Alternately, you can ask what blessings you have already received through your trials.

2) I don’t know that we got to pick our specific trials before this life. I don’t know that we were fully screened on the specific conditions an individual is born into. I do think we had a general knowledge of how things are and what ills are possible. If that’s the case, then you were willing to take your chances to be like your Heavenly Parents. A body is a body is a body. And in the timeline of eternity, you can endure passing moments of hardship for the glorious award that awaits.

If you actually chose these trials for yourself, you probably had some additional insights into your character. I can imagine Paul seeing that he was to be called to the Apostleship after a lifetime of preparation. He would be trained to appeal to both the Greeks and the Jews. Knowing himself, he would grow concerned that he would lose his elect position from pride, and requested a “thorn in the flesh” to keep him humble. Perhaps the situation is similar for you.

Regardless, to answer this question I would need to cease somnambulating and see behind the veil. I cannot do this for you, but your loving Father can teach you about your true character. Ponder, pray, and read your patriarchal blessing to learn who you really are and what your gifts are.

3) The knowledge we are to take with us in the next life is saving knowledge. It is light and truth. It is not facts and scriptures we have memorized throughout the course of our lives. It is the divinity and scripture we have lived in our godly walk. God cares little whether you can tell Him what the two great commandments are compared to showing Him that you love Him and your neighbor.

-Gramps

I have a testimony of the gospel, but I struggle to serve in callings because of my social anxiety. It seems whenever I accept a calling, I struggle with my activity. I have suffered from depression since my teenage years. I hate Sunday’s because I absolutely hate going to church. I know the gospel is true and believe in Jesus Christ, but I am just not good enough to be a member of this church. I am thinking about going inactive, which has caused a strain in my marriage. I don’t want to talk to my bishop because I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want to lose my wife and children, but I can’t play this game anymore. I sometimes think about suicide, which I think would be better than going to church. What should I do?

Shaun

_______________________________________________

Dear Shaun,

My heart breaks for you and all those who struggle with depression. It can seem like a heavy load to carry, and near impossible to break.

I am reminded of a story about Brigham Young and his views on healing. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said this in an April 2010 Conference talk:

The use of medical science is not at odds with our prayers of faith and our reliance on priesthood blessings. When a person requested a priesthood blessing, Brigham Young would ask, “Have you used any remedies?” To those who said no because “we wish the Elders to lay hands upon us, and we have faith that we shall be healed,” President Young replied: “That is very inconsistent according to my faith. If we are sick, and ask the Lord to heal us, and to do all for us that is necessary to be done, according to my understanding of the Gospel of salvation, I might as well ask the Lord to cause my wheat and corn to grow, without my plowing the ground and casting in the seed. It appears consistent to me to apply every remedy that comes within the range of my knowledge, and [then] to ask my Father in Heaven … to sanctify that application to the healing of my body.”

In cases of sickness, such as this depression, we suggest getting help immediately, for the good of both you and your loved ones.

Gramps

Thank You,

Unimportant

Dear Unimportant,

Doctrine & Covenants 18:10

Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;

When you read that, what do you think of? Probably missionary work. Probably how much Heavenly Father values bringing in more souls into the Church.

Luke 15:4
4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?

You are a child of a loving Heavenly Father who loves you. You have infinite worth! You are worth saving and bringing back to the ninety and nine!

The hard part about this life sometimes, is separating our identity from our roles in life. Our identity is our self-worth – which we get from our Father in Heaven. Our roles is how we judge ourselves in various areas of our life – father, mother, sibling, child, employer, employee, church callings… we end up comparing ourselves to others.

The way to work to overcome this (and it’s not easy) is to remember your self-worth.

2 Nephi 25:23
23 For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.

As members of the church, we seem to focus more on the latter part of that verse “after all we can do”. But that comes AFTER we believe in Christ and to be reconciled to God.

We typically focus on the “after all we can do” as a response to other Christians who only believe in grace. Believe me, we believe in grace! We just believe that when your heart has turned to the Lord, that you’ll want to show your intentions by doing your best to avoid sins.

Alma 24:10-11
“And I also thank my God, yea my great God, that he hath granted unto us that we might repent of these things, and also that he hath forgiven us of those our many sins and murders which we have committed, and taken away the guilt from our hearts, through the merits of his Son.”

“And now behold, my bretheren, since It has been all that we could do, (as we were the most lost of all mankind) to repent of all our sins and the many murders which we have committed, and to get God to take them away from our hearts, for it was all we could do to repent sufficiently before God that he would take away our stain.“

Sometimes, you just have to accept that you are doing all you can do. Of course, you need to be doing all you can do… just don’t use the “righteousness checklist” to judge how much you’re supposed to be doing.

There are three basic steps to improving in this area:
1) Do what you can
2) Do the best you can
3) Rest very little

I wish you all the best our Father in Heaven offers you, to comfort you and to help guide you and others who are experiencing a difficult time. The Lord is mindful of you and your needs. He knows. Reach out to Him and just bear your soul to Him. Build a relationship. You will then begin to feel more of His presence in your life.

Hope this helps.

Gramps