Gramps,

In the afterlife, does an addiction to alcohol or drugs go with them? I was taught, and thought this to be true.  Giving an extra reason for keeping the WOW.  We would be blessed not to have that craving.

AA

Answer

AA,

In Latter-day Saint (LDS) theology, questions about addiction and the afterlife are best understood through the doctrine of the soul, the nature of the spirit world, and the healing power of Jesus Christ. When someone asks whether addictions to alcohol, drugs, or tobacco follow a person into the next life, the answer is nuanced: the physical dependency does not continue, but the underlying spiritual and emotional patterns may persist—at least temporarily—until they are healed through Christ.

To understand why, it helps to begin with how LDS theology defines the human soul. Doctrine and Covenants 88:15 teaches:

The spirit and the body are the soul of man.

This means that many aspects of our mortal experience—including physical cravings and chemical dependencies—are tied to the body. Addiction to substances like alcohol, nicotine, or drugs involves brain chemistry and physical processes. When the body dies, those physical systems stop functioning.

LDS belief holds that at death, the spirit separates from the body and enters the spirit world. Without a physical body, there is no biological mechanism to sustain addiction in its physical form. In that sense, the bodily craving itself does not follow a person into the afterlife.

However, LDS scripture teaches that we carry our character and dispositions with us. Alma 34:34 explains:

That same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life… will have power to possess your body in that eternal world.

This suggests continuity of identity. We do not instantly become completely different people when we die. The habits of thought, emotional wounds, and spiritual tendencies that contributed to addiction may still be present. For example, if someone turned to substances to cope with pain, anxiety, or trauma, those underlying struggles may still need healing.

That might sound discouraging at first—but LDS doctrine quickly pivots to something deeply hopeful.

The spirit world is described as a place of continued learning, repentance, and growth. The Apostle Peter taught that the gospel is preached to those who have died:

For for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead…

This aligns with modern LDS teaching that individuals in the spirit world can continue progressing and receive the blessings of the gospel.

Church leaders have emphasized that many mortal limitations—physical, mental, and emotional—are temporary. President Russell M. Nelson taught:

The Lord has repeatedly taught that He will restore all that is lost.
(The Correct Name of the Church, October 2018 General Conference)

While not speaking specifically about addiction, the principle applies: what is broken in mortality can be made whole through Jesus Christ.

Similarly, Elder Dale G. Renlund explained:

Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, all that is unfair about life can be made right.
(Infuriating Unfairness, April 2021 General Conference)

Addiction often involves elements of unfairness—genetics, environment, trauma, and mental health challenges. LDS theology recognizes that accountability is real, but it is also perfectly balanced by Christ’s understanding and mercy.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland has spoken compassionately about mental and emotional struggles, which often overlap with addiction:

“Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed.”
(“Like a Broken Vessel,” October 2013 General Conference)

This healing doesn’t always happen fully in mortality—but LDS doctrine teaches it will happen through Christ, whether in this life or the next.

Another key doctrine is the resurrection. Eventually, all people will be resurrected, with body and spirit reunited in a perfected, immortal form. Alma 11:43 teaches:

The spirit and the body shall be reunited again in its perfect form… even there shall not so much as a hair of their heads be lost.

This “perfect form” implies that the physical weaknesses and dependencies associated with addiction will not return. The resurrected body is not subject to disease, decay, or chemical addiction.

However, LDS theology also emphasizes that who we become matters. President Dallin H. Oaks taught:

The Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts… but an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become.
(The Challenge to Become, October 2000 General Conference)

That’s why the process of healing from addiction—whether in this life or the next—is so important. It’s not just about stopping a behavior; it’s about becoming whole.

So, does addiction follow someone into the afterlife?

From an LDS perspective:

• The physical addiction ends with the body.
• The spiritual and emotional roots may remain, but they can be healed.
• The Atonement of Jesus Christ provides a complete path to recovery and wholeness, even beyond this life.

This doctrine offers both realism and hope. It acknowledges that struggles don’t magically disappear at death—but it also affirms that no struggle is permanent.

For those worried about loved ones, this teaching can be deeply comforting. God understands every factor involved in addiction, and He provides ongoing opportunities for growth and healing.

And for anyone currently struggling, it sends a powerful message: your efforts matter. Your fight matters. And through Jesus Christ, full healing—body and spirit—is not just possible, but promised.

Gramps

]]> https://askgramps.org/will-those-with-physical-addictions-take-them-into-the-afterlife/feed/ 0 https://askgramps.org/when-divorce-better-than-staying-married/ https://askgramps.org/when-divorce-better-than-staying-married/#respond Mon, 23 Mar 2026 12:21:51 +0000 https://askgramps.org/?p=72858 Question

Gramps,

I’ve been married to a non-member for 11 years. For the last month, I’ve been counseling with my Bishop about divorce. My husband is addicted to video games and plays 40-50 hours per week. We have 3 kids (he didn’t really want any but agreed to 2), and I have leukemia. He gets angry and loses patience a lot, especially with the kids. He barely talks to us and has even told me he doesn’t want me to do any temple work for him when he dies. When is divorce better than staying married?

Alisha

Answer

Alisha,

In the doctrine of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, marriage is much more than a social contract—it’s an eternal covenant. Members are taught that marriage, especially when performed as a sealing in the temple, offers the possibility of family relationships enduring beyond this life. As President David O. McKay expressed, “In the light of scripture, ancient and modern, we are justified in concluding that Christ’s ideal pertaining to marriage is the unbroken home, and conditions that cause divorce are violations of his divine teachings. … It is Christ’s ideal that home and marriage should be perpetual—eternal.”

The decision to marry is regarded as one of life’s most important choices. However, the choice to remain married, day after day, is seen as equally crucial. The decision to stay committed in your marriage becomes just as important, if not more important, than deciding whom you should marry. It is a decision that requires an eternal commitment. If both you and your spouse have this commitment, it will guide you through not only the blissful moments but also the difficult challenges. The Church encourages couples to work through difficulties, seek help if needed (such as counseling or spiritual guidance), and strive to sustain marriages through love, forgiveness, and shared faith.

Nevertheless, the Church does not present marriage as free from challenges. Communication hurdles, unmet expectations, and life’s trials often test the strength of the marital covenant. Prophets and Church leaders have long counseled that love, humility, and commitment can heal many wounds. President Gordon B. Hinckley movingly pleaded,

“If every husband and every wife would constantly do whatever might be possible to ensure the comfort and happiness of his or her companion, there would be very little, if any, divorce. Argument would never be heard. Accusations would never be leveled. Angry explosions would not occur. Rather, love and concern would replace abuse and meanness.”

The standard is high, and the ideal is clear: marriage is intended to last forever. Yet, as history, scripture, and lived experience attest, exceptions are part of the mortal journey.

Despite the ideal of eternal marriage, the Church acknowledges that in a fallen world, not all marriages can or should continue. The heartache of betrayal, abuse, or persistent unhappiness weighs heavily on individuals and families. For some, remaining in a marriage would cause more harm than good.

One often-misunderstood aspect of Church doctrine is that while divorce is not encouraged, it is also not condemned when it is the lesser of two evils. There are legitimate, scripturally and historically supported grounds for ending a marriage. Abuse and adultery are two commonly acknowledged grounds, but there are also cases where the Lord may guide an individual through revelation and personal peace. A powerful reminder from early Church history notes that, “Women could obtain a divorce more easily in Utah than in any part of the United States at that time.” Contrary to common misconception, the Church has long left room for women (and men) to escape marriages that bring unbearable sorrow.

The process for considering divorce is deeply individual, involving prayer, counseling with Church leaders, and seeking spiritual confirmation. As one Church leader advised when confronted with a member pondering divorce: “When you contemplate divorce, do you feel peace?… Satan cannot imitate peace. I counsel you to ask the Lord if you should continue to work on your marriage and wait and see if that brings you some peace.” The principle is to seek the will of God, not just personal comfort or convenience.

Still, for many members, divorce feels like an admission of failure, a contradiction of gospel ideals, or a forfeiture of promised blessings. Yet, Church teachings, rooted in both doctrine and compassion, are unequivocal: The Lord does not desire His children to remain captives in relationships that debilitate rather than uplift. The Book of Mormon and Church history contain numerous examples of escape as part of our heritage, as individuals and families left dangerous circumstances for their spiritual and temporal well-being. Sometimes, the precious thing to leave behind is a marriage that is causing harm.

Importantly, the Church requires that separated couples refrain from dating until their divorce is official, maintaining fidelity until the marriage is legally and ecclesiastically dissolved.

Divorce, regardless of its justifications or necessity, is never easy. It can feel akin to a bereavement—a loss not only of a relationship, but of dreams, plans, and even spiritual expectations. One Church member reflected,

“In some ways, divorce seemed like experiencing the death of a loved one. I wondered whether the possibility of an eternal family for me was now void…. Over time, I learned I had to go through the steps of grieving—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I never experienced the steps in that exact sequence, and some of them still come and go, but I have faced each of them to some degree… Despite the abuse and heartache that happened in my own marriage and the shock and pain that accompanied my divorce, the learning and growth that continue to come from these experiences have been my greatest blessings. I have learned to rely on the Lord and to become an advocate for myself.”

Here, the journey of healing is not portrayed as linear, nor is it guaranteed to be complete within a set timeframe. Rather, it is a process requiring faith, self-reflection, and the support of loving friends and family.

The Church provides spiritual resources for the divorced, emphasizing that healing comes through Christ. President Thomas S. Monson once said, “Choose your love; love your choice.” This resonates in the context of healing: we can choose to heal, forgive, and move forward. Reading scripture, praying, and fostering healthy friendships can all help restore a sense of self-worth and belonging, as those who have been wounded by marital failure rediscover their identity as beloved children of God.

Forgiveness, both of oneself and an ex-spouse, is a particularly challenging but liberating part of this journey. Trusting in Christ’s healing power and His ability to “bind up the broken heart” (Isaiah 61:1–3) brings eventual peace—a peace that, as noted earlier, cannot be counterfeited or faked. The Church encourages members to remember that every soul’s worth is “priceless in the eyes of God,” and that suffering is never the end of the story but often the refining flame that brings new faith and wisdom.

The journey forward might include renewed spiritual practices, seeking professional counseling, serving others, or even, eventually, the hope of new, healthy relationships. Importantly, Church doctrine affirms that promises of eternal blessings are not forever lost because of divorce. Each person’s ultimate standing is determined by their worthiness and faithfulness, and the Lord, in His wisdom, will determine the status of each of us in the eternities.

Ultimately, each member is invited to seek personal revelation, exercise charity, and trust that the Lord will not only bind up broken hearts but will keep His promises, allowing for new hope and happiness ahead.

Gramps

Hi Gramps,

I have been suffering from depression and anxiety most of my life.  I don’t know if the Lord will remove it in this life or the next. It has been a struggle for me as well as for my marriage. I love Elder Holland’s talk from a few conferences ago. It is incredibly difficult to deal with.  I love the Lord and try to do what is expected of me, such as reading scriptures and praying, but I feel that at times my prayers seem to hit a ceiling.

Jann

Answer

Jann,

When we face the storms of life, some questions press on the soul with exceptional weight: What happens after death, especially for those who suffer with depression, anxiety, or have died by suicide? Within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, these are not just theological riddles, but deeply personal concerns that touch the lives of countless individuals—both those who struggle and the loved ones who bear witness to their trials.

While misunderstandings and stigmas about mental health or suicide have burdened religious communities historically, the teachings of the Church offer a message of hope, healing, and infinite compassion.

One frequently misunderstood scripture comes from Alma 34:34 in the Book of Mormon:

“for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world.”

On the surface, this verse can cause distress, especially for those grappling with mental health struggles—does it mean that depression, anxiety, or trauma “follow us” after we die? The context, however, clarifies its message.

Amulek, the speaker in Alma 34, is not warning about mental health conditions, but about the necessity of repentance in this life. His teaching is that a person who cherishes sin or refuses to change will not suddenly become righteous after death—it’s about spiritual disposition and moral agency, not about involuntary suffering or disorders stemming from trauma. If someone also felt depressed because, for example, that person had violated the Law of Chastity, then yes, that is a depression that would continue even into the next life until repentance occurs. However, as you know, PTSD is caused by trauma, and often brings with it depression and anxiety. That is likely about the sins of someone else, not you, so this scripture does not apply to your PTSD and related feelings.”

This distinction is critical. Depression or PTSD are not sins; they are illnesses or wounds—often the consequences of trauma endured, not wrongs committed. The Church’s teachings are clear: the scriptural warnings are not addressed to the mentally ill, but rather to those who are willfully rebellious.

Hebrews 9:27 reiterates, “And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.” This affirms that our mortal life is our period of testing, as Abraham 3:25 declares: “We will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command.” There is no doctrine of reincarnation or a second round at mortality for those who suffer or die tragically. Instead, this life is our proving ground.

Few topics create as much anxiety for families as the fate of those who have died by suicide. Centuries of misinformation have stoked fears that suicide is a unique or unforgivable sin, or that those who die in such a manner suffer dire consequences in the world to come.

The teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in contrast, are grounded in profound mercy and understanding of mental suffering. Alma 40:11-12 offers this description:

“The spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, … are taken home to that God who gave them life. And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, … a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.”

Crucially, Church leaders and scriptures emphasize that we cannot judge the accountability of those who die by suicide. Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote:

“Persons subject to great stresses may lose control of themselves and become mentally clouded to the point that they are no longer accountable for their acts. Such are not to be condemned for taking their own lives. It should also be remembered that judgment is the Lord’s; he knows the thoughts, intents, and abilities of men; and he in his infinite wisdom will make all things right in due course.”

President Joseph F. Smith’s vision recorded in Doctrine & Covenants 138 further clarifies that work for the redemption of the dead—including those who died in darkness or bondage—continues beyond the grave. “The dead who repent will be redeemed, through obedience to the ordinances of the house of God, … and after they have paid the penalty of their transgressions, and are washed clean, shall receive a reward according to their works, for they are heirs of salvation.”

This theological perspective does not minimize suffering, but assures that ultimate judgment belongs to God—one who possesses infinite tenderness and perfect knowledge of each soul’s struggle, capacity, and circumstances.

For those weighed down by mental illness, chronic sadness, or the trauma-induced darkness that can feel unending, The Church’s teachings offer not only doctrinal clarity but genuine, attainable hope.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s landmark address “Like a Broken Vessel” addressed head-on the reality of depression, anxiety, and mental illness within covenant-keeping disciples: “I testify of the holy Resurrection, that unspeakable cornerstone gift in the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ! … I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that will be!”

He continues, offering comfort to all who feel trapped in unending pain: “The day will come when you no longer struggle with PTSD, depression, and anxiety. … You will feel peace, joy, and freedom from triggers again. … Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.”

The core promise of the gospel is not merely spiritual renewal, but literal healing and restoration of both mind and body. The resurrection will raise in power that which was sown in weakness—no scar, no pain, no clinical diagnosis will remain. For individuals who have endured mental suffering, and for their families, this promise is extraordinary.

Perhaps one of the most hopeful doctrines found in Church teachings is the ongoing opportunity for learning, growth, and healing in the life to come. President Joseph F. Smith’s vision affirmed that the faithful continue to preach repentance and redemption among those “under the bondage of sin in the great world of the spirits of the dead.”

This means that even for those whose earthly experiences ended in darkness or despair, the story isn’t finished. The plan of salvation continues to operate, and repentance, progress, and healing remain possible. Church authorities repeatedly caution against presuming either the condemnation or the salvation of those who die by suicide; such matters belong firmly in the hands of a perfectly just and merciful God.

For families and friends mourning loved ones lost to suicide, this doctrine is a lifeline. It removes the burden of judgment or fear, instead calling for trust in God’s wisdom and compassion. We are not to judge others as to their potential for salvation or not, nor can we anticipate who the Lord will and will not accept into His kingdom. We do not know the state of others’ minds or their level of accountability. So we leave that to God.

The journey of mental illness, anxiety, or grief over the suicide of a loved one can be long and heartbreaking. Yet, according to the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there is every reason for hope.

Neither depression nor trauma are eternal scars. In Christ, all things are made new. Judgment is in the hands of a loving Savior who knows every secret sorrow. The next life offers restoration, reconciliation, and the realization of peace and joy that may seem impossible now.

As Elder Holland concluded: “Believe in miracles. … Hope is never lost.”

No one is condemned for suffering, no soul is lost for struggling, and no loving God would deny healing to those wounded in the battle of mortality. Brighter days ahead are not just possible, they are divinely promised.

If you, or someone you love, struggles with depression or thoughts of self-harm, reach out for help. The trials you face do not define eternity, and hope—both here and hereafter—remains.

Gramps

Gramps,

For a few years now, I’ve had a problem with cutting myself. Sometimes to have some control over my feelings, sometimes to ‘punish’ myself for making a mistake. I haven’t been able to find any church advice on this topic anywhere. I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject and where the Church stands.

Alicia

Answer

Alicia,

Self-harm, often referred to as self-injury, is a behavior where individuals intentionally inflict harm on themselves as a way to cope with emotional distress. The reasons behind self-harm are varied and can include feelings of sadness, anxiety, or a sense of being overwhelmed. For many, it serves as a temporary relief from emotional pain, but it can also lead to a cycle of guilt and shame, particularly within religious contexts where individuals may feel they are falling short of spiritual expectations.

Self-harm is often a maladaptive coping mechanism. Just as some people might turn to food, alcohol, or other substances to cope with stress, self-harm can be a way to express emotional pain or regain a sense of control. It is crucial to recognize that self-harm is not merely a cry for help; it is often a deeply ingrained response to trauma or mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints may feel an added layer of complexity regarding their worthiness to participate in sacred ordinances, such as entering the temple. The Church teaches that individuals are not defined by their struggles but by their efforts to overcome them. This perspective is essential for understanding how self-harm fits into the broader narrative of worthiness and repentance.

Mental health plays a significant role in the discussion of self-harm and worthiness. Many individuals who self-harm may be dealing with underlying mental health conditions that require professional intervention. The Church encourages its members to seek help from mental health professionals, recognizing that mental illness is a legitimate health concern that can affect anyone, regardless of their faith or spiritual standing.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, has spoken extensively about mental health issues within the Church. In his talk “Like a Broken Vessel,” he emphasizes that individuals struggling with mental health challenges are not alone and that healing is possible. He reassures members that the Lord understands their pain and is there to support them through their struggles.

The question of worthiness to enter the temple is a significant concern for many Latter-day Saints. The temple is considered a sacred space where members can make covenants with God and receive spiritual guidance. However, the criteria for worthiness can sometimes feel daunting, especially for those who have engaged in self-harm.

In the context of self-harm, it is essential to differentiate between actions that require repentance and those that do not. Self-harm, while unhealthy, is not necessarily a sin in the eyes of the Church. It is often a manifestation of deeper emotional struggles rather than a deliberate choice to disobey God. Therefore, individuals who have self-harmed may not need to confess this behavior to their bishop unless it is accompanied by other actions that violate Church teachings.

For many, the process of repentance involves acknowledging one’s struggles and seeking help. This can include talking to a bishop, but it is not always necessary for every individual. The Church encourages members to focus on healing and growth rather than dwelling on past mistakes. The emphasis is on moving forward and finding healthier coping mechanisms, such as prayer, meditation, or therapy.

For those who are uncertain about their worthiness, seeking guidance from a bishop can be a helpful step. Bishops are trained to provide spiritual counsel and support, and they can help individuals navigate their feelings of guilt or shame. In many cases, bishops may ask if the individual is receiving professional help for their mental health struggles, which can be a crucial factor in determining worthiness.

It is important to remember that bishops are not there to judge but to help members find peace and healing. Many individuals have found that discussing their struggles with a bishop can lead to a sense of relief and clarity, allowing them to focus on their spiritual journey without the burden of past mistakes weighing them down.

The journey toward healing from self-harm is not linear, and it often requires a multifaceted approach. For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, this journey can be supported through faith, community, and professional help.

Finding healthy coping mechanisms is essential for individuals who have engaged in self-harm. The Church encourages practices such as prayer, scripture study, and attending church services as ways to foster spiritual growth and emotional well-being. Additionally, engaging in physical activities, creative outlets, and building supportive relationships can provide alternative ways to cope with stress and emotional pain.

Community support plays a vital role in the healing process. The Church offers various programs and resources aimed at helping members navigate their struggles. Support groups, counseling services, and youth programs can provide a sense of belonging and understanding for those dealing with self-harm and mental health issues. Connecting with others who have faced similar challenges can foster a sense of hope and resilience.

Ultimately, healing from self-harm is a personal journey that requires patience and self-compassion. Individuals need to recognize that they are not defined by their past actions but by their commitment to growth and healing. The Church teaches that everyone is a child of God, deserving of love and support, regardless of their struggles.

As Elder Holland stated, “Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed.” This message of hope is a reminder that healing is possible, and individuals can find their way back to a place of peace and worthiness.

Gramps

Gramps,

I was wondering where or what happens to someone’s spirit if they have their body possessed by an evil one.

Sarah

Answer

Sarah,

Demonic possession, as understood by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, involves an evil spirit taking control of a person’s body, influencing their actions, thoughts, and emotions. The Church recognizes that while spiritual possession is not as common as other forms of spiritual distress, it is a reality that can occur. Those who hold the holy priesthood possess the authority and power, granted through this priesthood, to confront and expel evil spirits.

Scriptural accounts provide a foundation for understanding demonic possession. The Bible recounts numerous instances where evil spirits inhabited individuals, subjecting them to torment and malicious control. For example, in the New Testament, Jesus encounters people possessed by evil spirits, demonstrating the authority of the holy priesthood by casting them out. These narratives show the belief that evil spirits seek to disrupt the lives of mortals but can be overcome through divine intervention and priesthood authority.

Central to the Church’s approach to demonic possession is the role of the holy priesthood. The priesthood is seen as a sacred authority bestowed upon worthy members, enabling them to perform ordinances and provide spiritual protection. Those holding the priesthood have the power, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, to exercise authority over evil spirits.

When an individual is believed to be possessed, priesthood holders perform prayers and blessings aimed at delivering the person from the evil influence. This process involves commanding the evil spirit to leave, which, according to Church teachings, is effective due to the authority granted by the priesthood and the power of the Holy Spirit. The outcome is often immediate, with the person returning to their normal self, expressing relief and freedom from the oppressive spirit.

The Church’s teachings on demonic possession are deeply rooted in biblical scripture. Passages such as Matthew 8:28-34, Mark 5:1-20, and Luke 8:26-39 vividly describe encounters between Jesus and individuals possessed by evil spirits. In these accounts, the possessed are liberated through divine authority, often accompanied by dramatic displays of power over the evil entities.

Moreover, the Book of Mormon also addresses the influence of evil spirits. Alma 13:13-14 discusses how the “spirit of the devil” can take possession of a person’s household, leading to dire consequences. This scripture emphasizes the importance of righteousness and the role of divine guidance in resisting and overcoming evil influences.

In contemporary times, the Church continues to uphold these teachings, guiding members who may experience spiritual oppression. Emphasis is placed on maintaining personal righteousness, seeking support from priesthood holders, and relying on the Holy Spirit for protection and deliverance. This holistic approach ensures that individuals have access to both spiritual and communal resources when facing such challenges.

When an individual is freed from demonic possession, the Church teaches that their spirit remains intact and untainted by the evil influence. The experience of possession is viewed as a temporary state where the person’s agency was compromised by the malevolent spirit. Upon liberation, the individual retains their agency and the capacity to choose good over evil.

The relief experienced post-possession is often profound, as the individual regains control over their thoughts and actions. This restoration reinforces the Church’s belief in the resilience of the human spirit and the protective power of the priesthood. It also serves as a testament to the ongoing spiritual battle between good and evil, highlighting the importance of faith, prayer, and righteous living in safeguarding one’s soul.

Gramps

Gramps,

What is the Church policy for those who gender transition?

Kay

Answer

Kay,

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints maintains clear doctrinal stances regarding sexual orientation and gender identity. According to Church teachings, identifying as a member of the LGBTQ community is not inherently sinful. Instead, the sin is perceived to lie in acting upon same-sex attractions or engaging in behaviors that contradict traditional gender roles as defined by Church doctrine. This distinction emphasizes the importance of personal agency and the belief that individuals can choose to live in accordance with Church teachings despite their innate attractions or feelings.

The Church has this official stance:

“Those who feel their inner sense of gender does not align with their biological sex at birth … often face complex challenges. They—and their family and friends—should be treated with sensitivity, kindness, compassion, and Christlike love. …

 

“Worthy individuals who do not pursue surgical, medical, or social transition away from their biological sex at birth may enjoy all the privileges of Church membership.

 

“Church leaders counsel against pursuing surgical, medical, or social transition away from one’s biological sex at birth. (Social transitioning means intentionally identifying and presenting oneself as other than one’s biological sex at birth, and may include changing dress, grooming, names, or pronouns.) Leaders advise that taking these actions will result in some Church membership restrictions. These restrictions include receiving or exercising the priesthood, receiving or using a temple recommend, and serving in some Church callings. …

 

“Members who have taken steps to transition and then transition back to their biological sex at birth and are worthy and committed to keeping God’s commandments may enjoy all the privileges of Church membership.

 

“Circumstances vary greatly from person to person and can change over time. Members who feel their inner sense of gender does not align with their biological sex at birth or who identify as transgender, as well as the parents or guardians of minors facing such circumstances, are encouraged to seek counsel from their bishop. Bishops counsel with the stake president to address individual circumstances with sensitivity and Christlike love. Stake and mission presidents seek counsel from the Area Presidency” (General Handbook: Serving in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 38.6.23).

The Church’s position is encapsulated in official statements and doctrinal teachings that promote chastity and adherence to traditional gender norms. For instance, Church leaders have reiterated that while same-sex attraction is not a sin, engaging in homosexual behavior is contrary to God’s commandments. Similarly, regarding gender identity, the Church acknowledges the complexities individuals face but maintains that gender is divinely ordained and immutable. These positions are intended to guide members towards lives of righteousness while upholding the Church’s understanding of divine law.

For LGBTQ members of the Church, reconciling their gender identity or sexual orientation with their faith can be a deeply challenging journey. The expectation to live according to the Church’s teachings, which may conflict with one’s personal understanding of self, can lead to significant emotional and spiritual struggles. Many individuals grapple with the fear of judgment, ostracization, and the internal conflict of loving their faith while feeling misunderstood or marginalized by its doctrines.

The pressure to adhere strictly to Church teachings often places LGBTQ members in a difficult position, especially when societal norms evolve toward greater acceptance and understanding of diverse gender identities and sexual orientations. For many, choosing to live in alignment with the Church’s teachings rather than embracing their sexual attractions or gender identity can seem impossible, leading to feelings of isolation and despair. This tension underscores the need for a compassionate dialogue within the Church that recognizes the humanity and inherent worth of every individual, regardless of their identity.

Despite doctrinal differences, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints consistently emphasizes the importance of compassion, kindness, and love in all interactions. Church leaders have counseled members to reflect on the Savior’s love, especially when engaging with those who have differing views or are going through personal struggles. This call to embody Christ-like love serves as a cornerstone for fostering understanding and reducing stigma within the Church community.

Prophetic counsel encourages members to approach conversations about gender identity and sexual orientation with empathy and respect. Recognizing that many individuals who undergo gender reassignment are dealing with profound emotional and psychological challenges, the Church advocates for a supportive and non-judgmental approach. By prioritizing kindness and understanding, the Church seeks to create an environment where all members feel valued and accepted, even amidst doctrinal disagreements.

Moreover, the Church acknowledges the complexity of individual experiences and the importance of personal revelation in navigating these issues. Members are encouraged to seek personal guidance through prayer and scripture study, allowing them to find peace and clarity in their relationship with God [8]. This emphasis on personal spirituality aims to empower individuals to live authentically while remaining committed to their faith.

Gramps

Gramps,

If you have been on YouTube and a video about the LDS shows up, you’ll almost always find comments from people saying that our church is a cult, and we’re brainwashed, and we don’t believe in the correct Jesus, etc. Many of these people are from other Christian sects but are so vile in their opinions of our religion. I notice that members of the Church rarely beat up on other churches but instead appreciate the fact that they at least believe in Christ. Why is it like this? Why hate us?

Kru

Answer

Kru,

The origins of the hatred toward Latter-day Saints (more commonly known as Mormons) can be traced back to the early days of the Church. Founded by Joseph Smith in 1830, the Church faced immediate backlash from the predominantly Protestant society. Early Mormons were often viewed as a cult, which led to violent confrontations, mob attacks, and even the assassination of Joseph Smith in 1844. The persecution culminated with the forced migration of thousands of Mormons to Utah, where they sought refuge from the hostility they faced in the Eastern United States. This history of violence and discrimination has left an indelible mark on the collective memory of the Church, fostering a sense of vigilance against any form of intolerance.

A significant contributor to the negative perception of Mormons is a series of misunderstandings and stereotypes perpetuated by both media and cultural narratives. Many non-Mormons view the Church as a monolithic entity, ignoring the diversity of beliefs and practices among its members. For instance, the stereotype of Mormons being polygamists continues to persist despite the Church officially discontinuing the practice over a century ago. Such misconceptions can lead to a generalization that unfairly characterizes all members of the Church as being backward or out of touch with modern society.

Additionally, the Church’s emphasis on family values and moral living can often be misinterpreted as judgmentalism. Critics often cite the Church’s stance on issues like LGBTQ+ rights and abortion as evidence of intolerance. However, members of the Church are taught to love all individuals, regardless of their beliefs or lifestyle choices. This dichotomy between public perception and the Church’s teachings fosters a gap that fuels animosity.

The theological differences between the Church and mainstream Christianity further exacerbate negative feelings. Many Christians view Mormon beliefs, such as the notion of ongoing revelation and additional scriptures like the Book of Mormon, as heretical. This perception is often rooted in a historical context where differing beliefs were met with hostility rather than dialogue. Non-Mormons frequently fear what they do not understand, leading to a cycle of mistrust and animosity.

The social dynamics within the Church can also contribute to misunderstandings. Mormons often engage in missionary work, which can be perceived as intrusive by those unfamiliar with their beliefs. This aggressive proselytizing may come off as a form of cultural imperialism, where Mormons are seen as imposing their beliefs on others. Furthermore, the Church’s largely conservative political stance can alienate those with differing views, intensifying the backlash against its members.

Media representations of Mormons have also played a significant role in shaping public perception. Often characterized by sensationalism, portrayals in films and television tend to emphasize the more bizarre aspects of Mormon culture, creating a skewed impression of the faith. Such depictions can reinforce negative stereotypes, making it difficult for individuals to see Mormons as anything other than caricatures of their beliefs. The latest example is the Netflix series American Primeval.

In contrast to the hostility it faces, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints emphasizes the importance of compassion and understanding. Members are encouraged to love their neighbors and to engage in service as a way to demonstrate their faith. The Church actively promotes humanitarian efforts and community service, which often go unnoticed amidst the criticism.

Moreover, the Church’s leadership has a long-standing commitment to religious freedom, advocating for the rights of all faiths in a diverse society. This principle is rooted in the Church’s own history of persecution, instilling a desire to protect the freedoms of others as a fundamental tenet of their beliefs.

The negative perceptions of Mormons are the result of a complex interplay of historical experiences, societal misunderstandings, and cultural myths. While The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has faced significant adversity, its teachings promote compassion and understanding. By addressing misconceptions and fostering open dialogue, it is possible to bridge the gap between the Church and those who harbor animosity toward it. Ultimately, the goal should be to recognize the humanity in one another and to celebrate the diversity of beliefs that make our world richer.

Gramps

Gramps,

Do you have the quote that states we agreed to our trials on earth in the pre existence? My sweet friend’s youngest son passed away this weekend and she asked me to  find that quote to help her.  She’s having a rough day .

Thank you,

Paige

Answer

Dear Paige,

I mourn for your friend’s loss and hope you, she, and her family are able to find peace in and through our Redeemer.

I know of no specific or official Church doctrine teaching that during our premortal existence we agreed to specific trials during mortality.  That said, I know of two individuals who through blessings (one of them a patriarchal blessing) were told that they knew and even “looked forward” to the trials they would experience in mortality. I know another person who was told in a blessing that she, while yet a spirit, asked our Heavenly Father for specific blessings to be granted to her in mortality (that this was the source of certain blessing she recognized in her life).

Further, we know from scriptures that some were foreordained, or called in the premortal existence, to certain positions. (See for example Alma 13:3, Abraham 3:23, Doctrine and Covenants 138:55, and Topical Guide entry on Foreordination.)  We are taught that we knew of the Plan of Salvation, which would have included knowing that we would be subject to temptation, sin, and the sufferings of mortality.

In another answer, I cited a quote from Joseph Fielding Smith that raises doubts as to whether we all knew all of our trials before coming into mortality:

“We have no scriptural justification for the belief that we had the privilege of choosing our parents and our life companions in the spirit world. This belief has been advocated by some, and it’s possible that in some instances it is true, but it would require too great a stretch of the imagination to believe it to be so in all, or even in the majority of cases” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Way to Perfection, 44).

It’s hard to believe we could have known all our trials if we didn’t also know things such as who our parents and spouses would be.

In October 1985, Elder Maxwell stated in his talk “Premortality, a Glorious Reality“:

This does not necessarily mean that we knew the specifics of every or any given trial, but it leaves open the possibility that we knew at least about general conditions and perhaps some specific experiences or types of experiences we would have.

Whatever the case may be for any given individual, there are some things we know for certain and which I hope will bring peace to the family of the son who has moved on to the spirit world.  Our Heavenly Father has known the end from the beginning.  He has provided his Son not only to lead us and offer us the way home, but also to comfort us through hard times.  He has also given us a sure knowledge that life continues beyond the grave, that those in the spirit world have meaningful work to do, that families can be together forever, and that the resurrection is a certainty for all of us.

May God bless you, your friend, and her family with peace, love, and comfort during this time of mourning.

Gramps

Gramps,

Will those who struggle with mental illness still struggle after they die?

Ginger

Answer

Ginger,

This is a great question, and from our scripture we have nothing to really answer this question (specific to mental illness); however, we do have insight from a general standpoint that does answer this question (to a degree). Let’s review some scriptures that generally respond to this question:

1. Jacob 2:8, “And it supposeth me that they have come up hither to hear the pleasing word of God, yea, the word which healeth the wounded soul.” (emphasis mine).

2. Mormon 9:14, “And then cometh the judgment of the Holy One upon them; and then cometh the time that he that is filthy shall be filthy still; and he that is righteous shall be righteous still; he that is happy shall be happy still; and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still.” (emphasis mine)

3. 1 Nephi 11:31, “And he spake unto me again, saying: Look! And I looked, and I beheld the Lamb of God going forth among the children of men. And I beheld multitudes of people who were sick, and who were afflicted with all manner of diseases, and with devils and unclean spirits; and the angel spake and showed all these things unto me. And they were healed by the power of the Lamb of God; and the devils and the unclean spirits were cast out.” (emphasis mine)

It seems when we are resurrected we will be resurrected according to the same thoughts we currently have. The scripture #2 highlights this generally by saying “he that is happy shall be happy still”. The other two verses highlight two items of importance: 1) The word of God heals the wounded soul (mental illness can be described as a heart, mind, or soul that is wounded), and 2) We are “healed by the power of the Lamb of God.”

When we are resurrected, and have been gifted to rise in the morning of the first resurrection we will be those who will inherit eternal life (exaltation). We will be those who have been covered by the blood of Christ. Perfection will continue to be a process through the atonement of Jesus Christ. This means, if we are still unhappy due to some result in this earth life, we will eventually be able to overcome all our impurities through Christ. Eventually, our hurt will be overcome with the joy given by the gift of repentance.

We will also no longer be tempted by the adversary. We will be able to see things as they really are, and as such, mental illness will be a part of our past. We will become more and more like our Savior and as such more and more like our Father in heaven. As one who has struggled greatly with his own self-worth in this life I look forward to the time where this will not be the case. In saying that though, we still need to do our part here to seek to overcome through the Lord’s Atonement. We need to trust in his mercy, grace, and love. We need to trust in the enabling power of the Atonement. This way, when we are restored it will also be our nature to overcome through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Initially, it seems like we will still struggle with something (as we aren’t perfect). As we progress though, we will eventually lose this struggle as Satan will no longer be able to tempt or to try us. We will only have the love of our Savior, and in that love mental illness will slow fade into happiness. Not because we ourselves are great, but because the Lord is true and faithful.

Gramps

Gramps,

I am very confused. I read that adultery is a sexual relationship between two people not married, but what about imagined sexual relationships even if no physical act is committed. I struggle with my thoughts and fear I am guilty of the second situation and therefore as guilty of adultery as those who commit the physical act…what do I do? What confuses me is if this adultery in the heart is as grave as physically committed adultery. Have I committed in plain and simple terms… Adultery?

Confused

Answer

Confused,

To begin answering your sincere question, let’s read the verses of scripture that correlate with what you are concerned about. In our Book of Mormon we can read the following verse of scripture from Alma (Alma 12:14),

“For our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and…”

In the Bible the Lord declares (Matthew 5:27-28),

“Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

 

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

The first scripture explains that if we do not watch our thoughts our thoughts could condemn us. The second verse is the Lord allowing us to see the higher law correlated with adultery. Why is the Lord concerned with our thoughts, and why might a man/woman have already committed adultery if they lust after someone? We can read the following quote from President David O. McKay that might add more light and knowledge to our thoughts (and the sin in our thoughts) when said:

“Thoughts are the seeds of acts, and precede them. … The Savior’s constant desire and effort were to implant in the mind right thoughts, pure motives, noble ideals, knowing full well that right words and actions would inevitably follow” (Stepping Stones to an Abundant Life, comp. Llewelyn R. McKay [1971], 206).

To accompany President McKay’s words we can read the following verse of scripture (Doctrine and Covenants 121:45-46),

Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

 

The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.

Now that we have more knowledge regarding the importance of keeping our thoughts clean and why keeping our thoughts clean and pure bring us closer to God. What do we do if we struggle with unclean thoughts? The first step would be to ask the Lord for forgiveness. Sins stemming from our thoughts aren’t serious transgressions, but transgressions nonetheless. As they aren’t serious transgressions you can simply kneel down and ask the Lord for forgiveness. You can plead with the Lord on providing strength, through his grace, to overcome the sin of adultery in your heart. Overtime, depending on your personal choices, you can overcome this through the grace of Christ. I also like this thought from James Allen who once wrote:

“A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.

 

Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires, so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful, and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life. He also … understands, with ever-increasing accuracy, how the thought-forces and mind-elements operate in the shaping of his character, circumstances, and destiny” (As a Man Thinketh [1983], 15).

It is good that you are concerned with your thoughts, as we all should be; however, although it has already been answered I will answer it more directly. Is the sin of adultery in our thoughts/heart, the same as committing adultery physically. No. The act of adultery is a serious transgression and requires priesthood authority and keys (through a judge in Israel) to help us through the process of repentance. The sin in our hearts/thoughts, requires due diligence on our part (everyday effort), but doesn’t require priesthood authority and keys (through a judge in Israel) to obtain forgiveness.

Gramps

Gramps,

I was talking with a friend today and she mentioned that the Church Handbook was recently updated. As she told me the changes she said that they took out masturbating or self gratification being a sin. After talking to her I went to look and couldn’t find anything about this topic in the handbook.  I am wondering why this isn’t in there and if I may have missed something. All growing up we were taught that this is a sin and I have taught my teens that it is too. Now I am confused if it is?

Elisha

Answer

Elisha,

In doing some research on this subject you are right.  There is no mention in the new handbook just released.  Nor is there any mention in the handbook that came out in 2010.  Nor is there any mention in the  Bishop and Stake Presidents handbook that came out in 2006.

Sometimes I think we get so caught up with the idea that if it’s not in the Church handbooks or not specifically mentioned in any guidelines then it must not be a sin and okay to do.  We, at Ask Gramps, get asked so often, “How far can I go sexually without it being a sin?”  Believe it or not, there are guidelines specifically outlined and addressed to our youth.  These guidelines can also apply to all adults as well.  They happen to be in For the Strength of Youth pamphlet.

Never do anything that could lead to sexual transgression.  Treat others with respect, not as objects used to satisfy lustful and selfish desires. Before marriage, do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not do anything else that arouses sexual feelings. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body.  Pay attention to the promptings of the Spirit so that you can  be clean and virtuous. The Spirit of the Lord will withdraw from one who is in sexual transgression. (emphasis mine)  For the Strength of Youth

Let’s go back to one of those sentences in bold above.  “Do not arouse those emotions in your own body.”   Doesn’t masturbation arouse those feelings in your body?  Whether it’s mentioned in the handbook or not, it definitely falls under that counsel that our leaders have given the youth.   So if you are doing something intentionally to arouse sexual feelings, it’s my personal opinion that it is considered sinful.  I don’t need a handbook to tell me that.

Just for some past references, this is some guidelines in the Priesthood section on the Church Handbook of Instructions II:  (This is the handbook that just became obsolete when the new one came out this year).

8.10 Standards

 

Standards provide sure direction to strengthen and guide members of the Church. As young men keep gospel standards, they will be of great service in the Church and the world. They will also be worthy to receive the ordinances of the temple. In the booklet For the Strength of Youth, the First Presidency outlines gospel standards and teaches youth how to apply them. Every young man should have a copy of For the Strength of Youth. He should review the standards often and consider how well he is living them. Quorum advisers and assistant advisers should study the standards in the booklet and exemplify them. They should find ways to teach and reinforce these standards often in lessons and at Mutual activities, camps, youth conference, and other activities. Bishopric members and quorum advisers can encourage parents to study gospel standards, exemplify them, and discuss them with their sons. They can also encourage young men to use For the Strength of Youth as a resource for family home evening lessons and talks.

And also:

21.4.5 Chastity and Fidelity

 

The Lord’s law of chastity is abstinence from sexual relations outside of lawful marriage and fidelity within marriage. Sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded as husband and wife. Adultery, fornication, homosexual or lesbian relations, and every other unholy, unnatural, or impure practice are sinful. Members who violate the Lord’s law of chastity or who influence others to do so are subject to Church discipline.

In the current missionary handbook it has this to say about the law of chastity:

You are expected to obey strictly the law of chastity, which forbids sexual conduct of any kind outside of marriage between husband and wife. (bold mine)

Now as I said earlier, even if masturbation is not listed specifically, it’s pretty clear in the For Strength of Youth pamphlet.  That would be the counsel to go by.

Gramps