These drives and feelings can be strong, very strong. Yes, they need to be controlled, like any other emotion or desire. But they are God given and not a disease or mental illness. I know of quite a few missionaries that have received medication to dampen those feelings and help them not be overpowered. My guess is that most men don’t even talk about it at all, because their feelings make them suffer and feel bad or unworthy. Church leaders address the “problem” in every General Conference. Why? Because it is a big issue.

Now, other than an addiction to alcohol/drugs/nicotine there is hope for the young boy, because he doesn’t have to totally refrain, only until he gets married. As a young man, just before I got married, a female colleague, who knew I was a Mormon and that we do not have sex before marriage, said to me, that she couldn’t do that. She wanted to know what she gets before she would marry someone. We however live to a higher law and we know we can conquer any challenge that our standards bring with them. We learn and grow together. And if we are determined and love each other dearly, together we can master any challenge, we can climb any mountain together. Love, true love, will see us through any challenge.

Do you truly love your husband? Be proud of him! Be proud that he found the strength to talk about his feelings with you. Be proud that he is faithful and enduring. Be proud that he found the courage to attack and deal with his challenge. Don’t be hurt. He has got these strong feelings for a purpose. Be his medication. Be the healing power in his life. DON’T GIVE UP. Consider his efforts as a sign of true love towards you, and be there for him. Enjoy each other’s love and your problems will fade away. Spend more time with each other.

One little hint at last: I observed an older couple at church the other day. Encouraged by some other member couple that gave each other a hug, he put his arms around her and wanted to give her a kiss. She shook him off and made a remark like “don’t”, obviously being somewhat embarrassed. I could read great disappointment on his face. — Give him a chance to show his love to you. Stop turning him down. Let him be YOUR man.