The responsibility lies with both men and women but once a women chooses to follow the prophets council on dressing modesty with pure intent and exactness. The rest of the responsibility then falls entirely to the man to control himself. No one would agree that a woman choosing to walk naked among construction sites would play no part in possible negative outcomes. Dressing counter to the prophets standards of modesty is just an extension of what should be obvious. But once obedience is a woman’s quest the burden of blame falls entirely on the male if he willfully shooters to act on thoughts he was responsible to eject from his kind before they ever found voice in his actions.

8 But behold, the righteous that hearken unto the words of the prophets, and destroy them not, but look forward unto Christ with steadfastness for the signs which are given, notwithstanding all persecution–behold, they are they which shall not perish. (2 Nephi 26)

“The Lord Almighty leads this Church, and he will never suffer you to be led astray if you are found doing your duty. You may go home and sleep as sweetly as a babe in its mother’s arms, as to any danger of your leaders leading you astray, for if they should try to do so the Lord would quickly sweep them from the earth.” (Pres Brigham Young – Journal of Discourses, vol. 9:289)

I find it offensive that you find the words of the Lord offensive but I guess thatA my problem tom overcome. Personally I agree with Nephi and Pres young over wolves in Sheeps clothing that would thrust their hands forth to steady the ark of God and teach that which is offensive to God as if it’s his word when not most asseedly is not.

Or you can take it from elder packer too in the April 1983 conf in relation to the wolves that accuse the pure in heart of blind obedience.
“Those who talk of blind obedience may appear to know many things, but they do not understand the doctrines of the gospel. There is an obedience that comes from a knowledge of the truth that transcends any external form of control. We are not obedient because we are blind, we are obedient because we can see. The best control, I repeat, is self-control. (Agency and Control boyd k Packer April 1983)

I have to disagree with you. It is the responsibility of both men and women. His talk put more of responsibility on women. And insinuated that men cannot control themselves. Everyone knows what he was trying to say, he just did not articulate his message well. He is human after all and all of us make mistakes in the way we present our message. And just because the message was fine with you, it was not fine with many of the membership, including myself.

No man is infallible. The fact that we are all human, means that we all make mistakes. I find your comments James G to be on the offensive side. Blind obedience does not profit anyone. I thought this was an outstanding example of how a subject can be navigated in a better way.

Kind of a fine line, we want members of the opposite sex to find us attractive, particularly when we are young and looking for a partner to share love and life with in this life and the next. The standard of what is modest and what is not can be very subjective as we are all individual, some of us my be attracted legs, lips etc,so blaming any one for our own impure thoughts is tough, because when we look at a member of the opposite sex when single even if they are covered wrist to ankle impure thoughts are biologically driven, we cannot control those, we can control is what we do with them, if we push them out of our mind as quickly as they arrive and do not act on them I think there is no problem. To blame a woman with a nicely fiting outfit for putting thoughts of attraction into our heads while giving men a pass is in my opinion unfair. We all have the thoughts when looking for a spouse, but we can control dwelling on it and acting on it.

I agree totally on all of that, especially that last part.

Consider President Lee’s counsel: “There will be some things that take patience and faith. You may not like what comes from the authority of the Church. It may contradict your political views. It may contradict your social views. It may interfere with some of your social life. But if you listen to these things, as if from the mouth of the Lord Himself, with patience and faith, the promise is that “the gates of hell shall not prevail against you;” (Teachings of Presidents of The Church: Harold B. Lee Chapter
9: Heeding the True Messenger Of Jesus Christ)

Sure the brethren aren’t perfect but we can gain a testimony for ourselves to be sure if the principle being taught is true or not.

What sounded weird to me was Gramps’ respsonse. It sounded like Gramps was actually saying that Elder Callister was a probably insensitive sounding and could have better explained the principle by explaining it the way Gramps suggests. Which if that’s what Gramps is saying that is not how Gramps normally reacts to the counsel from our leaders. At least that’s my opinion from reading other answers here. So I have decided I don’t understant Gramps’s response. .

Thank you!

This doesn’t mean the Lords anointed will lead us astray. Nor that we will be blessed for stepping outside our stewardships.

“I am more afraid …that they will not inquire for themselves of God…”

We are to gain our own conviction of Gods word as given through his servants,as nephi did so we can choose to obey with conviction and the trow closer to God. Rather than question everything with only our own understanding like laman and lemuel or simply follow blindly like sam did. We are to model the valiance of nephi.
Even when Lehi was murmuring, because he was not perfect, nephi did not call him out or stand against his father or counsel him to teach things in a different way to or step up to the plate. He submitted to his father and requested of his father something which was within his fathers stewardship. Nephi did not step out of his stewardship. This blessed Lehi to repent and straighten up on his own.

Dear Leslie,

Thank you so much for your comment and insight. My heart goes out to you and to all who have gone through similar experiences. You are right that many do not even realize the impact that is made when modesty is taught in this way: “they unwittingly promote shame.” I hope that all of the responses to this way of teaching modesty will help more people to realize the impact of their words, and that there is a more Christ-centered way to approach this topic that will heal hearts and ease the needless suffering that many feel.

Gramps