Comments on: Am I wrong for wanting to keep my marriage and family together?

By: Celeste

Celeste — Mon, 21 Aug 2017 07:40:00 +0000

I was a victim too of sexual abuse as a child and whole heartedly agree with Jen. He hurt your child willfully not once but more than once and the temptation will not disappear because he’s confessed it the process of repentance is more than feeling guilty and caught. Did he cry, mourn his deed when he was molesting her? No he wasn’t. Protect your baby because he doesn’t care too and he does’nt because he doesn’t see her as a daughter but as someone he can abuse.

By: Jen

Jen — Sat, 21 Jun 2014 16:49:00 +0000

I read this question and answer back when it was first posted, and have thought about it frequently since then. I realize that the question is about saving a marriage, which is absolutely admirable. However, being both a member of the LDS faith and someone who was molested by her father for years, the answer given is difficult for me to accept without some further understanding of the child’s point of view.
This family needs to be healed, and as “Gramps” does mention: the mother in this situation should be ready to go, because the daughter’s needs should be foremost. However, the bulk of the answer does not talk about this at all. Honestly, if the father was caught twice, it went on far more times than that.
At this point the child involved is going to be confused, angry, frightened, any number of things. And she’s being forced to live with her abuser still, because the wife wants to save her marriage. It seems to me that the wife wants to honor her husband more than honor her daughter, who was the victim of the abuse.
Perhaps I have no right to even comment. We don’t know the entire story; and of course the Atonement can be used to heal any earthly hurt. My views are colored by my experience. But if it were my daughter, I’d make sure she was safe and away, with me by her side, and work on my marriage second after helping my daughter heal.

By: Kris

Kris — Sun, 30 Mar 2014 02:15:00 +0000

I would use the example of myself and others who have been converted and baptized in the Mormon church. I myself was on a horrid road, directly going against the Lord’s commandments and going as far as turning away from the Lord and Heavenly father. However, after 10+ years, I was changed by the Lord and baptized into the Church. It has been a true change and I will never willingly go back to my old life/ways. So if I were in your shoes, I would personally keep as you are doing. Listen to the Bishop and any of the Counselors as well as the therapists. Continue to pray often and continue working on your marriage and family through the guidance of the Lord. He will help you always and knows the heart of everyone, including your husband and daughter.