Question
Gramps,
My schizophrenic son killed another person and is currently in prison. I’ve always held onto the hope that because of his mental disorder, he would eventually be made whole and forgiven in the eternities. However, as I read D&C 42:18 today, it appears that he will never be forgiven. I know my son and know his heart. As he has been on medication, he is so very sorrowful, ashamed, and remorseful about this action. Will he never be forgiven?
Elaine
Answer
Dear Elaine,
I’m so sorry you, your son, and your family are experiencing this trial. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be for you. Doctrine and Covenants 42:18 and many similar verses sound very “cut and dried”. However, we must be careful not to judge things that aren’t ours to judge. I don’t just mean condemning your son, but also giving up hope for him. To give up hope is to give up on the Lord. Until the final judgement at the end of the Millennium, there’s reason to hope. I don’t want to give you empty or false hope – the scriptures are clear, this is a very serious sin. But here are some scriptures that help us to understand that even in this case, there’s reason to hope:
D&C 45:54 And then shall the heathen nations be redeemed, and they that knew no law shall have part in the first resurrection; and it shall be tolerable for them.
The Lord knows whether your son “knew” the law or understood his actions. The Lord will take all into account when deciding the consequences of what your son did, based on your son’s understanding and repentance. Consider this from Sister Runia’s talk in the April 2025 General Conference:
I grew up taking diving lessons and learned that when judges score a dive, they watch the execution. Was the entry perfectly vertical, with toes pointed and a small splash? Then they do something extraordinary. They factor in the degree of difficulty.
Everyone is diving with their own degree of difficulty. And your Savior is the only one who truly knows the difficulty you are diving with. I want a relationship with the one person who gets me, who knows my heart and how hard I’m trying!
In Alma 24, and the surrounding story, it sure sounds like forgiveness is possible for those who murder:
9 And behold, I also thank my God, that by opening this correspondence we have been convinced of our sins, and of the many murders which we have committed.
10 And I also thank my God, yea, my great God, that he hath granted unto us that we might repent of these things, and also that he hath forgiven us of those our many sins and murders which we have committed, and taken away the guilt from our hearts, through the merits of his Son.
11 And now behold, my brethren, since it has been all that we could do (as we were the most lost of all mankind) to repent of all our sins and the many murders which we have committed, and to get God to take them away from our hearts, for it was all we could do to repent sufficiently before God that he would take away our stain—
12 Now, my best beloved brethren, since God hath taken away our stains, and our swords have become bright, then let us stain our swords no more with the blood of our brethren.
I really don’t know how to reconcile this account with verses which say there is no forgiveness for murder, except that the truth may not be quite as cut and dried as “no forgiveness ever, under any conditions”. Even the General Handbook recognizes that “other situations, such as when a person has limited mental capacity” may indicate that the taking of life doesn’t equate to murder (see 32.6.1.1), and regardless, it provides a way for membership privileges to be restored (see 32.16.1).
Doctrine and Covenants 19:1-20 may give us another reason to hope – here are the most relevant verses, but I recommend you study the entire passage:
6 Nevertheless, it is not written that there shall be no end to this torment, but it is written endless torment.
7 Again, it is written eternal damnation; wherefore it is more express than other scriptures, that it might work upon the hearts of the children of men, altogether for my name’s glory.
8 Wherefore, I will explain unto you this mystery, for it is meet unto you to know even as mine apostles.
9 I speak unto you that are chosen in this thing, even as one, that you may enter into my rest.
10 For, behold, the mystery of godliness, how great is it! For, behold, I am endless, and the punishment which is given from my hand is endless punishment, for Endless is my name. Wherefore—
11 Eternal punishment is God’s punishment.
12 Endless punishment is God’s punishment.
This changed our understanding, not only of this principle, but also of how the Lord works with us (note verse 7). It suggests that we sometimes incorrectly understand what the Lord means by a given scripture. Which brings me to my final point: part of holding onto hope, of not giving up, is for your son to repent, even as Alma the Younger describes:
Alma 36:18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.
19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.
20 And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!
21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.
Repentance for killing another cannot be an easy thing, but I pray these verses help you and your son to see that he should repent and do his best to keep the commandments and live the best life he can, striving to come unto and follow our Savior. No matter what else is true, the best possible result for every individual is found in this same way: repent, and come unto Christ, and follow Him!
May God bless you and your family, Elaine, to hold tightly to each other, and come together to the Lord, that He may heal you, and help you all to live in faith and hope.
Gramps
