Gramps,

What damage does not watching over our neighbors have on society?

David

Answer

David,

From our earliest years, many of us are taught the golden rule—to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”—and reminded of Christ’s two greatest commandments: to love God and to love our neighbor as ourselves. The Parable of the Good Samaritan and countless Church lessons remind us that loving our neighbor is central to Christian discipleship, especially in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Yet, for all this instruction, genuinely loving our neighbor remains one of life’s most persistent challenges.

Why is it so hard to actually love our neighbor when we’re so frequently reminded, even commanded, to do so? What stands in our way, and how might we overcome these barriers to forge more Christlike, compassionate relationships? 

One of the fundamental challenges we face in loving our neighbor is that everyone sees the world differently. No two individuals share the exact same experiences, opinions, or perspectives—even when they share beliefs or backgrounds. Politics, popular culture, religious views, and even interpretations of gospel principles can vary dramatically from person to person.

This diversity of thought isn’t a weakness; it’s a blessing, a source of growth and learning. The eleventh Article of Faith in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints proclaims, “We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.” This declaration recognizes and honors diversity while calling for mutual respect and kindness.

Yet, problems arise when we stop regarding these differences as opportunities for dialogue and start viewing them as threats or proof of another’s shortcomings. Defensive posturing and a need to prove ourselves right can quickly erode empathy and kindness. The temptation grows to correct others rather than understand them, or to judge rather than serve. When disagreements turn into divisions, love becomes conditional, and the possibility for a real neighborly connection is lost.

The scriptures invite us to humility: “If they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27). Openness to learning from others’ perspectives, even those we disagree with, is a Christlike virtue. As we seek to see others as the Savior does, with patience and charity, we begin to fulfill the commandment with greater authenticity.

In today’s technology-driven society, another barrier to loving our neighbor emerges: the echo chamber effect. Social media platforms and online communities often reinforce our beliefs and biases, allowing us to hear our thoughts and opinions echoed. What begins as an innocent discussion can become an arena for taunts, gossip, and even open hostility toward those who think or live differently.

This distancing is compounded by the anonymity and distance provided by the internet. Our keyboards become shields from behind which we sling taunts, gossip, and threats, because we do not have to see the faces of our neighbors who are hit by our harmful missiles.” Public shaming, online harassment, and the weaponization of ‘righteous’ beliefs damage real people. Genuine connection and empathy are replaced by self-righteousness and superficial validation.

The danger is not just that discussions become heated, but that compassion is replaced by pride and rivalry. The scriptures are clear about the need for moderation and discernment: “Correct when moved upon by the Holy Ghost” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:43), and always “[show] forth… an increase of love toward him whom [we] have reproved, lest he esteem [us] to be his enemy.” If we argue or correct without the Spirit, we are likely to drive our neighbors further away rather than draw them closer.

Moreover, social media magnifies the tendency to compare ourselves, often leading to insecurity or a false sense of superiority. When our light becomes more about outward appearances and less about genuine faith and vulnerability, it can unintentionally cause others to feel insignificant or unloved. Instead of building others up, we risk alienating them.

One of the most subtle but destructive barriers to loving others is our often unconscious habit of judging them—sometimes in the name of righteousness. We may withhold help from those we deem unworthy, justify indifference based on principles like self-reliance, or use labels that subtly divide instead of unite: “less-active,” “inactive,” “nonmember.” While principles are important, using them to build ourselves up at others’ expense undermines the very essence of Christlike love.

Victim-blaming is a particularly egregious form of this tendency. When we try to rationalize away the suffering of others—searching for some reason they deserved their hardship—we avoid the difficult fact that bad things can happen to anyone. These rationalizations are attempts to shield ourselves from vulnerability, but they deny our common humanity and the randomness of suffering in a fallen world.

The New Testament story of the woman taken in adultery is instructive: after the Pharisees demanded her punishment, Christ replied, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her” (John 8:7). This teaching extends beyond the specifics of her situation; it challenges us to withhold judgment, especially when it comes to those suffering, victimized, or marginalized.

To truly love our neighbor, then, we must set down our stones—our judgments, our labels, our harsh assessments. This is a daily spiritual labor that asks us to build others up rather than tear them down, to replace the false security of self-righteousness with the humbling work of compassion.

How do we move past these pervasive obstacles to love? The answer is not simply “try harder,” but to thoughtfully realign our hearts and habits with Christ’s teachings.

First, humility is essential. Openness to correction, to change, and to the possibility that we don’t have all the answers is foundational to any truly loving relationship. As the prophets and apostles have repeatedly taught, it is only through love and humility that we find the strength to serve others, especially those we disagree with or don’t understand.

Second, intentional listening is vital. When we “plug our ears” to calls for help across social, political, or religious divides, we cut ourselves off from our neighbors. Zechariah warned of a people who “[stopped] their ears, that they should not hear” (Zechariah 7:11). Active listening—especially to those we are inclined to dismiss—can break down the walls of pride and foster deeper understanding.

Third, we must resist the relentless social pressures around us, whether from social groups, social media, or even within our own congregations. In Alma’s time, members of the ancient church faced persecution not just from outsiders but from within their own ranks, as pride and contention crept in. “There were many among them who began to be proud, and began to contend warmly with their adversaries…” These divisions caused “much affliction to the church.” Yet, the faithful “bore with patience the persecution which was heaped upon them.” Modern disciples are likewise called to patient endurance and active peacemaking.

Deep community is both our need and our destiny. Our call to love our neighbor is nothing less than a command to build community, erase loneliness, and mirror the inclusiveness of God’s love.

It is important to acknowledge that loving our neighbor also means creating environments where the vulnerable are protected and wrongs are made right. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints denounces abuse in the strongest terms, especially against children: “In the strongest possible terms, we denounce and decry the abuse of children and the circumstances that protect abusers.”

Church systems and leaders bear a sacred stewardship to watch over the flock, to listen to and protect the vulnerable, and to hold themselves accountable when systems fail. As recent failures have shown, policy and accountability must continually be evaluated and improved to ensure the safety and healing of all members, especially the most vulnerable. Members and leaders alike are called to increased love, advocacy, and prayerful support for victims and survivors.

Let us make loving our neighbor more than a motto or memory verse—let it be the defining practice of our lives, transforming both others and ourselves in the process.

Gramps

Gramps,

How do I live the commandments without exception?

Neil

Answer

Neil,

Imagine walking through a grand buffet—your eyes are drawn to the dishes you like, skipping past those you’d rather avoid. It’s a relatable approach to food, but what happens when this mindset finds its way into our spiritual lives? In a world where personal preference often reigns supreme, it’s tempting to treat the commandments of God like a buffet, picking and choosing the convenient or comfortable, and leaving the rest aside. But is this compatible with the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

The analogy of the gospel as a buffet is more than just a clever metaphor—it’s a real pitfall faced by many striving to live a Christ-centered life. Elder Neal A. Maxwell, reflecting on this very issue, once likened our relationship to living prophets to a buffet, saying,

“Our relationship to living prophets is not one in which their sayings are a smorgasbord from which we may take only that which pleases us. We are to partake of all that is placed before us, including the spinach, and to leave a clean plate!” [Things As They Really Are (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Company, 1978), p. 74)

This challenge isn’t unique to any one period of church history. As Hugh Nibley points out, “If I keep only some of the Ten Commandments, I am not keeping the Ten Commandments; if I pay some of my tithing I am not paying tithing; if I keep the law of obedience, doing things God’s way, when I find it convenient, I am not keeping that law; a person who is chaste some of the time is not keeping the law of chastity…”. Nibley’s point is stark: partial obedience is, in effect, disobedience.

This “buffet” approach might arise from sincere struggles, misunderstandings, or simply from societal pressure to conflate God’s eternal laws with cultural trends. As modern morals drift from traditional standards, picking and choosing commandments can seem increasingly natural. But the Church offers a different, more challenging—and ultimately more rewarding—path.

Why does the Church teach that full obedience—not selective compliance—is vital? The answer is multi-layered and deeply rooted in love, purpose, and the nature of God’s commandments.

Elder Robert D. Hales described commandments as “loving instructions provided by God our Father for our physical and spiritual well-being and happiness.” Far from being arbitrary restrictions, each commandment is intended for human flourishing, safety, and growth. Hugh Nibley put it this way: “The legal aspects of the thing are not what counts…the law…must be written in your hearts…because you really love the Lord and his law, which begins and ends with the love of God and each other (Deuteronomy 6:5).” Thus, obedience is a matter of relationship as much as it is of duty.

While none are perfect, the ongoing effort to obey in all things is what brings the companionship of the Holy Ghost, strengthens faith, and unlocks divine blessings. If we want the companionship of the Holy Ghost, we must obey the commandments. Obedience also creates a spiritual “armor” that protects against the deceptions and temptations of the adversary. President Thomas S. Monson highlighted, “The knowledge which we seek, the answers for which we yearn, and the strength which we desire today…can be ours when we willingly obey the Lord’s commandments.”

Some may argue for “reasonable” exceptions. However, as the experience of Brother Clayton M. Christensen (related by President Monson) illustrated, carving out “just this once” exceptions quickly becomes a habit, eroding standards and weakening faith over time. It is simply easier—and spiritually safer—to live a standard 100% of the time than to manage, justify, or remember a growing list of exceptions. Any attempt to minimize a commandment’s scope nearly always leads to greater wavering.

No one, aside from the Savior himself, has ever achieved perfect commandment-keeping. The Church is keenly aware of this, offering a doctrine of hope that focuses on direction rather than mere perfection.

Samuel the prophet was taught, “For the LORD seeth not as man seeth…for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7). The Church emphasizes that God judges us by the intents of our hearts, not just outward compliance. If we “continually try to be as obedient to God’s word as possible,” and sincerely repent when we fall short, God’s grace through Christ’s Atonement covers our imperfections.

For instance, if one plans a sinful act but does not carry it out, the journey is not over—the Lord desires not only abstinence from sin but the removal of the very desire for it. The ultimate desire is to remove sin from one’s life…The good part is that the greater the challenge you face, the greater the rewards are for obedience.

The struggle to overcome sin is lifelong, but each small victory adds strength. No one is perfect; we all commit sin. However, the struggle to overcome sin and self should never cease. We progress from one small victory over self to another, and each victory gives us added strength. This incremental improvement, built on honest striving and regular repentance, is itself a great blessing and a witness that the Lord walks beside us.

The path to keeping commandments cannot always be rigidly mapped. Sometimes family, circumstance, or spiritual immaturity limit what an individual can accomplish. In such times, as Elder Bednar teaches, our “individual responsibility to learn truth, to love truth, and to live according to truth is increasingly important,” and “the Lord judges us with a perfect blend of compassion and expectation.”

For example, a youth unable to attend church or be baptized because of family opposition is not condemned—the Lord honors both their desires and their efforts.

Commandments take concrete shape in daily living, encompassing everything from media consumption to bodily autonomy. The Church’s standards—whether about Sabbath observance, diet, sexual morality, or even entertainment choices—are clear in principle, even when cultural norms shift dramatically.

The law of chastity is more than mere restriction; it is a means of strengthening self and connection with God.

The Word of Wisdom, though originally given “not by way of commandment” according to the revelation, is now a marker of faithfulness and identity, signifying one’s commitment to living prophets as well as to God Himself.

Entertainment choices are measured not by arbitrary lines, but by the effect they have on the spirit and on one’s sensitivity to spiritual things.

It is in making repeated, daily choices—often small and private—that devotion is forged. Making a commitment to him once will not be enough…We must recommit ourselves to living the gospel daily because there will be days when it may feel almost impossible.

Gramps

Gramps,

What is meant by the 2nd commandment of not making any graven image? Is it only concerning that we don’t worship them?

Ann

Answer

Ann,

The 2nd commandment, as articulated in Exodus 20:4-5, serves as a profound directive regarding the nature of worship and the relationship between humanity and divinity. It states:

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God.

In essence, this commandment warns against creating physical representations intended for worship and invites believers to reflect on the deeper relationship they are to maintain with God. Let’s delve into the context of this commandment, explore the definition and implications of graven images, consider the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints regarding images, and discuss the nuances between idolatry and artistic expression.

To fully understand the 2nd commandment, it is essential to grasp its historical and cultural context. The ancient Israelites were surrounded by nations that practiced idolatry, crafting gods from wood, stone, and metal, which they worshipped. The commandment aims to set the Israelites apart, emphasizing that God should not be visually represented or confined to physical forms. It is a call to worship the unseen Creator who transcends all human understanding.

The commandment’s focus is not merely on the prohibition of creating images but rather on the worshipping of them. As outlined in the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the intent behind creating an image is crucial. Worshipping an image reduces the divine to a mere object, obscuring the relationship believers are meant to cultivate with God. The Church teaches that the worship of graven images is a form of idolatry, which detracts from the worship of the true and living God.

Graven images are generally understood as physical representations—such as statues or carvings—that are revered or worshipped. While the commandment categorically prohibits the worship of such images, the creation of images for remembrance or educational purposes is not inherently wrong. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that artistic representations of Christ or other holy figures can serve to uplift and inspire faith, provided they are not worshipped as deities.

A critical distinction lies in the purpose of the image. For instance, the brass serpent raised by Moses in the wilderness (Numbers 21:5-9) was a symbol meant to remind the Israelites of God’s healing power. However, it later became an object of worship, which necessitated its destruction (2 Kings 18:4). This illustrates that the problem arises not from the existence of images per se, but from the intent and attitude towards them.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints maintains a carefully nuanced stance regarding the use of images. While the 2nd commandment prohibits the worship of graven images, it does not preclude the use of art as a means of expressing faith. The Church encourages the use of images that promote the teachings of Jesus Christ and inspire individuals to follow His example. Images of Christ, when used as reminders of His teachings and sacrifice, can enhance spiritual understanding and commitment.

Moreover, the Church does not adorn its buildings with crosses or other symbols that could lead to idolatry. This decision emphasizes a direct relationship with God, steering clear of anything that could distract from the worship of Him alone. The Church’s focus is on the worship of God in spirit and truth, as Jesus taught in John 4:24.

The distinction between idolatry and artistic expression is vital in understanding the commandment. While the 2nd commandment prohibits the worship of graven images, it does not prohibit artistic creativity. Artistic expressions that serve educational or commemorative purposes can be beneficial, provided they do not replace the worship of God.

As noted earlier, images should serve as reminders of the divine rather than objects of veneration. The Church emphasizes that the intention behind creating and using images is key. For example, displaying pictures of Christ in homes is accepted, as these images can inspire faith and remind individuals of their commitment to follow Him.

In modern contexts, the principles behind the 2nd commandment continue to resonate. The Church encourages its members to maintain a focus on worshipping God directly, without intermediaries that could lead to idolatry. This commitment to a pure form of worship helps to cultivate a relationship grounded in faith and obedience to God’s commandments.

Furthermore, the Church’s teachings highlight the importance of discernment in using images. Artistic representations can enhance understanding and foster a spirit of reverence when they are approached with the right intentions. Thus, members of the Church are encouraged to appreciate art that uplifts and points to Christ, while always safeguarding against the temptation to elevate such representations to a status of worship.

The 2nd commandment, “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image,” serves as a vital reminder of the nature of our worship and the relationship we are to cultivate with God. By understanding the historical context of the commandment, the implications of graven images, and the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we can appreciate the depth of this directive. It challenges us to reflect on our intentions, ensuring that our expressions of faith remain focused on the divine rather than on created forms.

As we navigate the complexities of faith in a modern world, may we strive to uphold the principles of this commandment, embracing artistic expressions that inspire us and remind us of our commitment to worship the true and living God.

Here are other Q&As that might help to answer this question:

Are pictures of Christ graven images?

What is the differences between graven images and sculptures of the Savior?

Is it okay for Mormons to display pictures of the Savior by non-Mormon artists?

Why doesn’t the Mormon Church have crosses on their buildings as do other Christian churches?

Gramps

Gramps,

What is the difference between a graven image sand having Nativity sets or other sculptures which include images of the Savior?

Rosanne

Answer

Rosanne,

The difference between images and idols is recognizing the creator and the creation.

When the Israelites were attacked by poisonous snakes Moses raised a brass serpent on a pole. He told them all they had to do was look and they would be healed (Numbers 21:5-9). The Lord saw no contradiction between commanding Moses to have no graven image, and commanding him to construct an image in the likeness of a snake. Spiritually enlightened saints recognized the brass serpent as a symbol of the healing Messiah (Alma 33:19-22). Unfortunately, the God of miracles was forgotten in lieu of the miraculous artifact itself. Israelites started to reverence the staff and burn incense to it. It became a graven image once people started worshipping it. At that point Hezekiah had it destroyed (2 Kings 18:4).

Today we have several representations of the Savior: paintings, murals, statues, dramas and films. There is no harm so long as these images remind us of the Creator. If these symbols themselves become objects of worship, we would do well to follow King Hezekiah’s example and remove them from our lives.

Gramps