Question

Dearest Grandpa,

I feel that if I’m going to ask you a question I should write to you as if I already know you. So here go’s…(smile) A few months ago I had the privilege to meet a wonderful man, I’m sure you probably thinking, well here it comes, but this is of course a very sensitive topic for me so please bear with me? I am at this time 17 years of age and throughout my life since I was about 6 years old all of my friends have been adults. So you can imagine my thoughts are very in depth, etc. This man that I met has the same thoughts as me on EVERYTHING, excepting of course the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have deep and exceedingly great concerns, because the Spirit tells me that we are meant to be together, it has expressed this to me from the first of our meeting. I have asked him to at least try and understand what I believe by asking the Missionaries to explain things to him with an understanding that asking does not mean you must except. He is of the opinion that he knows all he needs to know about this church and any other churches. I pray for stronger faith because of the promptings of the Spirit as well as for patience. But of course I can’t help but cry when he tells me he wants to marry me and that he loves me, Grandpa I love him with all my heart but I hurt so when he said that he doesn’t need to be married in a so called “man made Temple” for God to know what is in his heart. I know that with this answer from him it just leaves this whole topic easy with no commitments. But still there is that prompting of the Spirit when I am with him. Should I just keep praying and be patient? At times I feel that I should speak with a Bishop on the subject, but my father is a Bishop and I speak with him and he says to pray and to follow the Spirit but that doesn’t seem like very much help. Who should I turn to to discuss this matter? I’m not finding any answers.

Rose

Answer

Dear Rose,

I’m sure that this man is correct when he says that he doesn’t need to be married in a “man made temple” for God to know what is in his heart. What is in his heart is quite obvious. He loves himself and the power of his own conquests. Of course he tells you that he loves you! How else could he capture a 17-year-old girl to use for his own purposes. It’s hard for someone of your age (in spite of having had adult companions) to understand what love really is. Believe me, it is far more than emotional attachment! If one person loves another, that other person’s interests and happiness become of foremost priority. They become even more important than the person’s own interests. The ingredients of love, believe it or not, are clearly defined by Paul in 1 Cor. 13:4-6. Here we learn that love is composed of these nine qualities- Patience, Kindness, Generosity, Humility, Courtesy, Unselfishness, Good Temper, Guilelessness and Sincerity.

The fact that this man has no interest in your religion simply means that he has no interest in you; his interest is only in himself. And when he tires of playing with you he will find someone else

Get your father to teach you what unspeakable blessings await those who are sealed to one another for time and eternity in the holy temple. If you come to understand what those blessings are you wouldn’t dream of marrying in any other place nor for any other reason. Tell this man that you have decided to date only temple worthy young men, and that after he investigates and joins the church and lives worthy enough to come to you with a temple recommend you will consider going with him again.

One other thing-it’s very easy, especially for those in their teens to confuse emotion with the promptings of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Ghost will never prompt you to marry outside the temple, nor to do anything else that is contrary to the words of the prophets. The prophets have spoken often and unequivocally on this subject. Here is just one of many such quotes:

“Unless young people who marry outside the temple speedily repent, they cut themselves off from exaltation in the celestial kingdom of God. If they should prove themselves worthy, notwithstanding that great error, to enter into the celestial kingdom, they go in that kingdom as servants.

“What does that mean? The revelation tells us they go into that kingdom to be servants to those who are worthy of a more highly exalted position-something with greater glory. They are servants to them. They don’t become sons and daughters of God. They are not joint heirs with Jesus Christ. They do not obtain the kingdom, that is, the crown and the glory of the kingdom of God. They who are married in the temple for time and eternity, if they are true and faithful to their covenants, enter into that kingdom. They are heirs of that kingdom, joint heirs with Jesus Christ, sons and daughters of God, entitled to the fulness of the kingdom.” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Answers to Gospel Questions,, Vol 4, p.196)

Gramps