In order to be forgiven, we ourselves must forgive. Let he among you without sin cast the first stone. Satan very job is to deceive. If one allows he will still all your joy which comes from heaven. If you truly believe God has revealed this thing to you. Then do you truly believe a God of love wishes to see you in pain and without joy. Maybe the test is for yourself as well as your husband. And maybe there’s a better love for the both of you to come. “TOGETHER”

I said “of course” he denied it because if he’s innocent he’ll deny it, if he’s guilty he’ll insist the same. I’m grateful that it is not my burden to judge anyone, I just wondered if I would ever know the truth.

The thing that worried me most was not retribution (that’s disturbing) or any offense against myself but the damage to my husband’s salvation and our chance at a celestial marriage. I want my sweatheart with me and not suffering for sins that could have been repented of.

I have made peace with the fact that I have to wait to know why I found the things that made me question him. And I know that Satan has a lot of fun influencing such circumstances. In the meantime, we are out of the situation that may (or may not) have fostered such a sin. And I now know that my husband adores me and is true to me.

Surprisingly, no offense is taken at any of this. Though it does disappoint me whenever I read a comment online that presumes to know the intentions of the poster.

Knutekritt,

The problem here is this: the entire issue is based on the ASSUMPTION she is right. She may very well be wrong. And if she can’t trust what her husband says, then there is really little hope for the marriage. Any relation not founded on trust is like walking on a frozen pond that is cracking more and more with each stepーeventually you’re going to fall in and the results will be ruinous.

And let me be clear about this, NO church leader, marriage counselor, or family therapist can compensate for her lack of trust. She must either decide to trust her husband or not. She simply CANNOT pass the buck to someone else and expect them to fix the problem. There really is no middle ground here either, because all that turns into is a battleground of constant fights and arguments. You will NEVER find happiness, peace, or security if you try to stand there.

Now while she can go ahead and divorce her husband over her assumptions, if she turns out to be wrong in the eternities, SHE (not he) will have to pay the price for her actions. The same goes for her husband. If he was unfaithful and never fesses up and repents, it is HE (not she) who will be paying the price.

I just don’t see any loss this woman will incur if she is living her covenants to the fullest she is capable of. Any so-called “loss” will be made up perfectly, because of the atonement of Jesus Christ.

I also fail to see the point of charging someone as guilty before there is REAL proof that they are. I mean, that’s how the courts in this country DO work, right? Church courts are no differentーwitnesses or proof are required. And if the Constitution and basic laws of this land have divine origin, then why are we trying this man in the “court of public opinion”?

I think he is speaking about the possibility that the question is rooted in the desire for the guily to be punished.

In fact, there are also a lot of us who would rather choose revenge than to forgive. To this Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave two simple words of advice: STOP IT!

He also went on to say this:

“Brothers and sisters, there is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment.

We are not perfect.

The people around us are not perfect.19 People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.

Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way.

Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive.

Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another.

The merciful will obtain mercy.”

I think that says it all.

Worrying that your spouse committed sin and wondering if that will ever be rectified is not an accusing heart.