Question
Gramps,
There was a time when my husband was withdrawn from me. And having found small hints of infidelity I asked him directly if he had been unfaithful. He denied, of course, but now, two years later I still feel he cheated and is ignoring it. Will there be a day during our judgement that I will know if he was unfaithful, or will his sins be kept from me? Many thanks.
“Hopeful”
Answer
Dear “Hopeful,”
What is your real concern here? Are you looking to the eternal welfare of others and self, or are you just worried about someone getting their comeuppance?
Also, there is a logical fallacy known as “begging the question”. What it means is that we make an assumption and use that assumption as evidence to prove the assumption true. For instance, you assume that your husband cheated on you. Then this assumption is proven true, because, when confronted about it, “he denied [it], of course”. Such is clearly the act of a guilty man. But then, we could cut this the other way too. Let’s assume that your husband never cheated on you. Our assumption is validated because when confronted about having cheated “he denied [it], of course”. What else would you expect an innocent to do?
The day will come when your husband will stand before the Savior and his wicked thoughts, words, and deeds will testify against him to his condemnation (Alma 12:14). What’s more, the rebellious shall be pierced with much sorrow; for their iniquities shall be spoken upon the housetops, and their secret acts shall be revealed” (D&C 1:3). Any indiscretion on his part will be publicly broadcast, visible to yourself and the world.
But this will not be to satisfy some sort of self-righteous desire to see those who have wronged us getting what’s coming to them. If that is the state that our heart is in, we will likely be right there beside them with the weeping and the wailing and the gnashing of teeth and all that.
You see, one day you will also stand before the Savior, “and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again” (Matthew 7:2). Your secret, wicked thoughts, words, and deeds will be broadcast publicly for all the world to see. What will your husband think of your accusing heart?
Your best bet is to approach your situation with prayer, faith, and love. Forgive all men, including your husband, and leave judgment to God. Worry about the example you set, the kind of person you are, the messages you share with others, and that all of the above are true representations of Christ, whom we covenant to stand for at all times and in all places.
Gramps
