Question
Gramps,
My wife and I married at a later point in life in which having children naturally is not likely to happen (later 40s, early 50s). What is the Church’s stance on using surrogate egg donors and to have a child? Can the child still be sealed to us? The Church handbook is a little unclear on if it would be approved or not.
Brad
Answer
Brad,
One of the great blessings many married couples hope for is the opportunity to have children and raise a family. But sometimes life doesn’t work out quite the way we expected. Some couples marry later in life, while others experience infertility or medical circumstances that make having children naturally difficult or impossible. For a husband and wife who marry in their late 40s or early 50s, these questions can become especially important. You may love each other deeply, desire to raise a child together, and wonder whether modern fertility treatments could make that possible. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has provided guidance about fertility treatments, including in vitro fertilization (IVF), donor eggs, and surrogate motherhood. However, the wording of the General Handbook can sometimes leave couples wondering what is actually permitted and whether a child could be sealed to them.
The Church recognizes that fertility treatments can help married couples who desire children. In General Handbook section 38.6.9, the Church explains that reproductive technology can assist a married woman and man in their righteous desire to have children. However, the Church also teaches that the pattern of a husband and wife providing bodies for God’s spirit children is divinely appointed. Because of this, the Church discourages using sperm from anyone other than the husband or eggs from anyone other than the wife. This is where the wording of the handbook becomes important. The Church discourages the use of donor eggs, but it does not establish an absolute prohibition against them. Instead, the decision is ultimately left to the judgment and prayerful consideration of a lawfully married husband and wife.
That distinction is important for couples who marry later in life. A woman in her late 40s or early 50s may have difficulty becoming pregnant naturally, and the chances of producing viable eggs may be significantly reduced. Using a donated egg through IVF may therefore become one of the options a couple considers. Under the Church’s current policy, this decision falls within the category of fertility treatments that are discouraged but ultimately left to the couple’s judgment and prayerful consideration. The Church’s stated preference is for the husband and wife to use their own reproductive materials when possible, but the handbook does not say that a couple is automatically prohibited from considering donor eggs. Couples should carefully consider their circumstances, their feelings about the procedure, and their desire to raise a child together. It would also be wise to discuss the matter with their bishop or stake president, particularly if they have questions about how the Church’s policies apply to their particular situation.
One of the most important questions for a couple considering donor eggs is whether the child can still be sealed to them in the temple. The Church’s General Handbook provides guidance about children conceived through artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization. Section 38.4.2.6 explains that children conceived through these methods are born in the covenant if their parents are already sealed. If the children are born before their parents are sealed, they may be sealed to their parents after the parents are sealed to each other. This means that the Church recognizes a pathway for children conceived through IVF to be born in the covenant or sealed to their parents. However, the handbook does not specifically address every possible donor-egg arrangement, so it is important to understand how the circumstances of the pregnancy and birth fit within the Church’s guidance.
The important distinction is whether the wife carries and gives birth to the child or whether another woman carries the pregnancy as a surrogate. If a married couple uses a donated egg through IVF, the wife carries the pregnancy and gives birth, the general IVF provision in section 38.4.2.6 appears to be the relevant guidance. The handbook does not specifically say that using a donor egg automatically disqualifies a child from being born in the covenant or being sealed to the parents. It also does not explicitly state that every donor-egg IVF arrangement requires First Presidency approval for sealing. Because the handbook does not specifically address all donor-egg circumstances, couples should confirm how the policy applies to their particular situation rather than assume that approval is either automatically required or automatically unnecessary.
Surrogate motherhood is addressed separately in General Handbook section 38.6.22. The Church discourages surrogate motherhood, but it leaves the decision to the judgment and prayerful consideration of the husband and wife. The handbook also specifically addresses the sealing of children born through surrogacy. It explains that children born to a surrogate mother are not born in the covenant and may be sealed to their parents only with approval from the First Presidency. Section 38.4.2.7 also provides guidance for Church leaders handling these sealing requests. Parents seeking approval should write a letter to the First Presidency and give it to their stake president. If the stake president supports the request, he submits the letter along with his own letter.
This is why it is important not to confuse donor-egg IVF with surrogacy. In one situation, a donated egg is fertilized through IVF and the wife carries and gives birth to the child. In the other, another woman carries and gives birth to the child for the married couple. The handbook specifically identifies the First Presidency approval requirement for children born to surrogate mothers. That requirement should not automatically be applied to every donor-egg IVF arrangement in which the wife carries and gives birth. The exact circumstances matter, and couples considering these options should explain the proposed medical arrangement to their bishop and stake president so they can receive appropriate guidance.
Another possibility worth considering is adoption. The Church recognizes adoption as a way for couples to provide a loving home for children, and it encourages members who are considering adoption to understand the legal and practical requirements involved. Adoption may be an option worth exploring alongside fertility treatments, especially for couples who are unable to conceive naturally or who decide that donor eggs or surrogacy are not the right choice for them.
Ultimately, the Church’s teachings about families emphasize love, commitment, and the responsibilities of parents toward their children. For a couple who marries later in life, the desire to welcome a child into their home can be a deeply meaningful one. The Church does not provide a blanket prohibition against using donor eggs. Its policy discourages the practice but leaves the decision to the married couple’s judgment and prayerful consideration. The handbook also provides general guidance for children conceived through IVF to be born in the covenant or sealed to their parents, while surrogacy is treated differently because the handbook specifically requires First Presidency approval for the sealing of children born to surrogate mothers.
For that reason, the best next step would be to speak with your bishop and stake president, explain the exact fertility treatment you are considering, and ask them to help clarify how the handbook applies to your particular circumstances. You may also want to ask whether they can seek clarification from the appropriate Church office if there are questions about how donor-egg IVF would be handled in your specific situation. Having children is a deeply personal decision, and the Church’s guidance recognizes that couples may face circumstances that require careful prayer, thoughtful consideration, and individual judgment.
The important point is that the Church discourages donor eggs but does not explicitly forbid them. The sealing question should be considered separately from the decision to use donor eggs, particularly because the handbook’s specific First Presidency approval requirement concerns children born to surrogate mothers. A couple considering donor-egg IVF should not assume that their child cannot be sealed to them, but they should seek clarification from Church leaders about how the policy applies to their exact circumstances.
Gramps
