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I am having periods of difficulty forgetting and I assume forgiving my husband for cheating. I include forgiving because I can’t seem to forget. On top of cheating there have been several situations that not only were demeaning and hurtful, but frankly destroyed what little trust I had in him after he cheated. However he has made great strides the past couple of years in turning himself around and becoming the man I always hoped him to be, meanwhile I  find myself doubting him and at the same time filled with a lack of confidence in myself because of his past behavior. We have been married for 37 years and I must admit that there were times when I stayed only because of our children. I realize I brought much of this on myself when I chose to stay rather than leave. But since he is now a better man, how do I not only forgive, but forget and put the painful memories behind me; restore my own self esteem and develop an unwavering trust in my husband?

Brenda

Dear Brenda,

It can be very difficult to forgive and move on after such a grievous betrayal of trust and vows. The fact that you are trying speaks very highly of your own character. You know that forgiveness is what the Lord would have you do.

Do not be discouraged by how hard it is. In such a case the process of forgiveness can be just as hard if not harder then the process of repentance is for your husband. Rebuilding that trust and your self esteem will take time, and there may be set backs. Do not let this stop your efforts, and be constantly praying to the Lord to help you through. The Lord will be there for you.

Gramps

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