How can I help my non-member friends and relatives understand my temple marriage?

Question

Dear Gramps,

I am planning on getting married in the temple within the next year after my intended graduates from trade school. I am so excited and can’t wait!! My problem is, none of my family are members and aren’t very accepting of the fact I’m a “Mormon.” They’ve made comments, without me telling them anything, that “they had better be able to attend my wedding ceremony” or else, and that they “don’t want people from my church there.” How can I break it to them that they can’t be at the actual ceremony? I’ve been trying, but it’s so hard. Also, my boyfriend’s mother seems not to like the idea too much. She feels we should wait until his second brother is home from his mission. She asked if we’ve prayed about it. Of course and we’ve both recieved revelation on this matter. Could this just be Satan sinking the teeth of opposition where it hurts, or should we go with the Spirit? (ps: we’re 23 and 24 years old) Thanks for any advice!

C.

Answer

Dear C,

I can appreciate some of the difficulties you face contemplating a temple marriage as the only member of the Church in your family. All the difficulties that you mention may not be resolvable prior to your marriage. However, I’m sure that you will do what you can to explain your circumstance to your family. Perhaps you may want to get them all together to announce your wedding plans, and explain to them the sacredness of the covenants you will be making with one another, and that such covenants are available only within the sacred precincts of the holy temple.

You might tell them that the purpose of a reception would be to greet family and friends and rejoice together in celebration of the sacred event, and that you hope that they will share your joy at that occasion.

If they choose to oppose such a plan, then you have a choice to make–either to enter into the holy covenant of eternal marriage with its limitless blessings, or to have a civil marriage in order to placate your family. I would suggest that you might do much more good to your family by demonstrating to them the depth of your commitment to sacred principles than by trying to satisfy their desires by denying the infinite blessings of eternity associated with the eternal marriage covenant.

If you do what you know is right, and yet show sympathy and love toward those who may oppose your actions, you will undoubtedly stand as an exemplar of sacred principles. Your family will without doubt soften their hearts toward you and your husband as you continue to demonstrate love and acceptance of them, especially in the face of their opposition to your plans.

Gramps