I want to know where it started that you’re never supposed to say no to a calling in the church.
The idea of not saying no to a calling comes from a very logical progression of facts on what we, LDS church members, believe.
First there is the 5th Article of Faith.
5 We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.
This means that these leaders, when acting in their calling, when seeking the guidance of God in magnifying their calling, they can and should have the mind and will of God revealed to them.
Thus if everything goes the way it should when a leader calls you to serve it is as if God himself has extended the call. Do you feel it is wise to turn down God? Do you feel it is in keeping with the covenants you had made to turn it down?
For a faithful Latter-day Saint, those questions should be self evident. That is the ideal. But the real world can be a bit messier. Sometimes our leaders are not always in tune with the spirit like they should be. Sometimes the Lord, as part of His teaching of a leader, will prompt him to go down a path that quickly closes off around them so that they can know that it is not the way. Or there can be other reasons we on the outside just do not see.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks once said:
“Just as service in the Church is not sought, it is not turned down.”
So when it comes to callings, Gramps recommends being open and honest with your church leaders about your situation and concerns about a calling. Whether they be when the call is extended or if they develop later, that church leader can have the proper information in which to make an informed choice. Gramps also recommends being willing and able to seek out the mind and will of God on all matters and being willing to humbly submit to what God would have you do.