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Dear Gramps
I have an urgent question.  My daughter’s best friend kill himself a couple of weeks ago.  She is concern that he is remaining behind because she is so upset about his death.  She is feeling a lot of guilt and blames herself for his death as she did not see the signs. She had an experience on Sunday when she was talking with her mother. She was crying and the phone kept cutting off. Then the phone started putting 4’s and 3’s across the screen.  She said “CJ stop it” and the phone started working again.  She said that he wakes her up at 3am. She wants to know if he is still here watching over her.  I told her that he is already gone, but she wants another opinion.  Please help me I am very concern about her mental state of mind.  She is 43 years old and single.  He was 71 and she love to cook for him.  They had a fight just before he killed himself.  He killed himself 5 years almost to the date that his wife die.


Dear George,

We have two scriptural references that explains to us what happens with the spirit when ones passes away.  Alma gives us the most definitive explanation in the Book of Mormon.  In Alma 40 he states:  “11 Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.  12 And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.”  Alma indicates the return of the spirit to God occurs  as soon as the person passes away.

When on the cross, Christ was asked by the thief, who was also being cruciified to remember him when He came into His kingdom.  In Luke 23, Jesus’ answer was:  “43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.”  Joseph Smith indicated that the correct translation to this scripture would be “world of spirits” rather than “paradise”.  This scripture also indicates that the spirit returns to the spirit world as soon as it leaves the body.

There has been instances where people have been visited by the spirit of  a family member that has passed away.  Some were immediately after their death, while others returned a few days later.  In each case the spirit has only been allowed to remain for a short period of time and most often they have indicated that they have received permission to return for a specific reason.  Often they were not able to say good-bye and had been allowed to visit them for this purpose.  In one case a young man, whose father was a General Authority, died in an accident.  He returned to tell his mother that he was fine and that she shouldn’t worry or mourn for him.  He also indicated that he had tried to visit his father, but his father was so busy he was unable to visit him and she should tell his father he was fine.  The situation with your daughter does not sound like anything a spirit of one that has passed away might be allowed to do or would do.


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