My son, whom I love very much is not active in the church. He has a wife that is anti-Mormon, and they have 3 children. The oldest child just turned 13 years old. The lesson in Relief Society was about tithing. Not far into the lesson she asked the sisters if they believed that those that are LDS. will be destroyed by fire if they do not pay tithing. Many of the sisters replied yes to that question. I wasn’t one of them. I am a full tithe payer myself but my son’s wife would not be happy at all if my son started paying tithing. She is very difficult for my son to deal with and it would cause problems in their family if he should start paying tithing. I had to give the closing prayer and that was very difficult for me to do. I really don’t believe God would or could do that to my son when he is such a good person. I really need your help in this matter. Right now I don’t much feel like ever going back to Relief Rociety.
First, let’s reference the exact scripture source.
23 Behold, now it is called today until the coming of the Son of Man, and verily it is a day of sacrifice, and a day for the tithing of my people; for he that is tithed shall not be burned at his coming.
We have only the scriptures to go on to base how the Father will judge a person. According to the scriptures, this would be the case.
Will the Father allow someone to enter into the Celestial Kingdom without having been baptized? According to the scriptures, no.
What if a person was really good, like Mother Teresa or Ghandi? According to our understanding of the scriptures, no.
31 For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance;
I don’t know if your question is more rooted in the doctrine, or in how the Father will judge your son even though he is such a good person.
The doctrines and commandments of the kingdom are strong, and they are not presented as ‘optional’. If they were “softened”, it would give us the excuse to say that we’ll be okay. We are warned against such thoughts by Nephi.
8 And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die; and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God.
We must take comfort in the fact, that the Father is the perfect judge.
Now, to address the matter of your son and his wife:
34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
The scriptures are strong. If your son married a non-believer, then he may be seeing some of 2 Nephi 5:23 coming to pass in his own life.
23 And cursed shall be the seed of him that mixeth with their seed; for they shall be cursed even with the same cursing. And the Lord spake it, and it was done.
Notice that the footnote on mixeth says, TG Marriage, Interfaith, meaning that they are not one in the Lord. This is a curse for both them and their children not to be close with the Lord, with the ideal being to help each other honor and fulfill their covenants
To conclude, the doctrines of the Church are strong. They are unforgiving, except through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. God the Father is the perfect Judge. This is the life to prepare to meet God. If your son and his wife are not one in Christ, they will find it difficult to raise their children in the paths of the Lord.