I converted to the church about a year ago after investigating for six months. Soon after my baptism I stopped attending church. I am really unsure as to why I stopped, but I did. I loved going to church, I loved reading from the Book of Mormon, gaining a testimony and developing a relationship with Heavenly Father. But, now I seem to doubt everything and I’ve been told it’s because I’ve given room for Satan to deceive me, but I even doubt that now. Please help me.
You are not alone in your feelings. Others have felt this way as well, In fact, Pres. Uchtdorf spoke about this:
“By the same token, if we remove ourselves from the light of the gospel, our own light begins to dim—not in a day or a week but gradually over time—until we look back and can’t quite understand why we had ever believed the gospel was true. Our previous knowledge might even seem foolish to us because what once was so clear has again become blurred, hazy, and distant.” Receiving a Testimony of Light and Truth
Ella, you clearly have a desire to believe. That is an excellent place to start. The prophet Alma (n the Book of Mormon) taught:
But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words. Alma 32:27
In other words you need to repeat the same steps that you took when you first joined the church.
1- have a desire to know, and an open mind
3- read the scriptures, go to church, read church magazines…things to help you learn
In that chapter, Alma compares the word to a seed we plant in our hearts. Plant the seed, Ella. Do your part and the Lord will do the rest. He is anxiously waiting to welcome you back.