I didn’t grow up in the Church, and didn’t have a testimony of temple marriage and other things. Although since I was a child, I always believed in Jesus and wanted to be close to him. I have been divorced twice. The first time he ended up being very abusive, and I had to divorce him to protect my two tiny daughters and myself. The second ended up getting into drugs and adultery. I had two tiny sons when I left him. I am so ashamed I chose so poorly. I didn’t know they would end up doing these things. I have raised all my children alone and I am very devoted to the Church. I went through the temple when my youngest was two and have raised my children in the Church. My whole adult life has been devoted to my children. I have been very blessed to work from home. I believe both of my sons are close to going on missions now. I just feel so sad that the mistakes I made when I was younger and didn’t know better will keep me from having an eternal family. What am I working towards?
There are a couple of issues that we need to treat. First, you feel ashamed for having chosen your spouses so poorly. But the fact is that when you chose them they appeared to be honorable, acceptable candidates for marriage. You cannot be ashamed of something that you were completely unaware of. However, when those traits did appear, you got rid of the guys. You did the right thing, not the wrong thing! So, you should not feel ashamed for having chosen husbands that you thought at the time were worthy men. How many women would have suffered in silence, or would have gone along with the deviant behavior? But not you! You stood up for yourself and your children. You are to be commended, not condemned!
Now you wonder that without an eternal husband, and having been endowed in the temple, what your future will be like. If you reflect on the endowment ceremony and the blessings that are promised to you there if you live worthily, do you think that the Lord will go back on His word? The word of the Lord is sure—
What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same (D&C 1:38).
So if you remain true to your covenants there is no doubt that all the promised blessings will be fulfilled. But those blessings cannot be fulfilled without an eternal companion. So you will have an eternal companion. It is not something to become anxious about or concerned over. At the proper time an acceptable person will come along who will be a worthy and compatible eternal companion for you. It may not even happen during your mortal life. But if that is the case you will be sealed by proxy to an eternal companion during the millennium, and your eternal family will be complete.