How do I move on if the person I have hurt is unwilling to forgive me?

Question

Gramps,

I wronged a family member and hurt him/her deeply. I have talked to this person who says he/she is not ready to talk about it or forgive. I apologized many times and offered whatever assistance I could give to help this person heal. We associate with each other quite often. What else can I do? How do I go on with this weight on my shoulders? I feel unworthy of anything good in my life. I have prayed for forgiveness as well.

KC

Answer

KC,

I would recommend committing a very specific prayer along with next month’s fast. Pray for continued humility and patience, and pray to be able to repair as much of the damage as possible. As you have already done so, I would also recommend continuing to pray for forgiveness from Heavenly Father.

So long as you are pursuing the path of true repentance, with real humility and sorrow for the pain you have caused, you will be forgiven by Heavenly Father at the proper time. However, it is up to the individual, and them alone, whether they will forgive you or not.

I’ve never been good at holding a grudge, or witholding forgiveness. I just couldn’t care enough after a few days. So I tend to be very forgiving by nature. There are those who are just the opposite, and they are excercising their agency. If forgiveness is withheld long enough, it will begin to harm them, but that is entirely their own situation.

Beyond that, don’t pester them about it. They say they aren’t ready to talk about it, so don’t push the issue. Be ready to discuss it when they are prepared, however long that takes. The weight will lift from your shoulders when the Lord sees the time is right. It may or may not be when your family member forgives you themselves.

Gramps