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Hi Gramps,
I’ve been struggling with this problem for a long time now. A friend of mine introduced me to the Mormon Church two months ago, and since then we’ve become much better friends. I’ve sort of developed feelings for him. He is about to go on a mission in like half a year, and I’m having internal conflicts with myself about him. I don’t want to distract him from focusing on his missionary work, but at the same time these feelings have become overpowering. I’ve tried to ignore him but it hasn’t been successful. Its feels like I’m sinning or something. I just feel guilty for liking him. I don’t know what to do now.. It’s really killing me to be doing nothing.

Dear Ally,
You could give vent to your feelings and make a play for this young man. If that were successful and you were to get married, I wouldn’t give a dime for the chances of success in your marriage. You would have prevented him from going on a mission, which is the greatest goal in his life right now. As a missionary, he will have the opportunity to bring the gospel into the lives of numbers of people. Were you to prevent that, all these people and their posterity would likely have missed their opportunity for salvation in the kingdom of God. The missionaries that would have come from those converted families would not exist, and those that they would have converted would not have the chance to receive the gospel. The terrible effects of this young man not going on a mission would snowball through all eternity!
If you really love this young man, I’m sure that you would want the very best for him. What I detect from your letter is that you really love yourself and would be willing to destroy him in order to satisfy your own desires. There is really only one course open to you. Encourage him to go on his mission, and never do anything that would tempt him to disqualify himself. During his mission write friendly letters–not love letters–to him. After he returns home, that would be the time to begin to establish a personal relationship. If you were to do it that way you would have a much better change for success–and for long term success. The two of you could be married in the temple, and if you were to live in accordance with the covenants of that temple marriage, you would be marriage partners forever.

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