Any advice on waiting for a missionary?

Question

Dear Gramps,

I am in love. Crazy in love with my soul mate. He is a Mormon, and in a weeks time, I will be as well (for my own personal sake). We both have every single intention of getting married…as soon as he comes back from his mission. I have no doubts I will be faithful to him and will still deeply love him. I’m wondering if you have any advice on keeping our relationship going and not forgetting that we love each other no matter what. Of course we both have secret concerns of the other “changing”. How can we remind each other that through any change we still love each other and want to be together?

Savanah

Answer

Dear Savanah,

I am very happy that you are willing to support your “soul mate”  in accepting a call from His Heavenly Father to serve a mission.  He is definitely doing what the Lord wants him to do at this time of his life.  Though he will be the same person when he returns, there is definitely going to be changes.  These changes will be positive and will make him a better person, husband and father.  First and foremost is that he will be growing in his gospel knowledge and testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel.  He will be studying the scriptures and Church Doctrine several hours each day.  He will be using this knowledge to teach the people he comes in contact with.  He will also have a better understanding of our Lord’s eternal plan for each of His children.  Because he is doing the Lord’s work, he and those who love and support him will be greatly blessed.

Not only will he grow in his understanding of the Gospel, but also in his ability to deal with people and make decisions on his own.  He will also have greater self esteem.

I would encourage you to stay positive about your relationship.  There will be those who will tell you that it is impossible to wait the two years, but keep in mind that it has been done many times.  In fact my wife waited for me and because I served a foreign speaking mission prior to the Church implementing the language training in the MTC, it was for 2 1/2 years.  My wife continued to pursue her education while I was on my mission and graduated shortly after my return.  We were able to get married and she supported us while I finished my degree.  I would encourage you to obtain employable skills whether it is a college degree or some other type of training.

The most important thing for you to do is to become very involved in the Church.  Once you are baptized, visit with your Bishop and request that you be given a calling in the Church.  If possible I would recommend that you enroll in Institute classes so that you can also grow in your understanding of the Gospel as he is doing.  Study the scriptures daily, especially the Book of Mormon.  This will help you in communicating with your missionary while he is serving and upon his return as well as strengthening your testimony and knowledge of the Gospel.

Find other young women who are waiting for a missionary and form a support group.  If you are unable to do this, become friends with the young women in the Ward.  This way you can still be active socially and not feel as though you are being unfaithful to him.

Write him each week very positive and uplifting letters.  Become involved in what he is doing and those he is working with.  Some weeks he may become discouraged if the work is not going well.  Your letters can have a positive impact on him and strengthen him in his service.

Gramps