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Dear Gramps,

I haven’t had the courage to talk to anyone else about this. Since I can’t see you and you seem to be in tune, it will be much easier. A woman may only be sealed to one man, and a man may be sealed to many women. This concept leaves me feeling very uneasy. Any counsel I have heard on this subject has not helped. To me, it almost seems to threaten the worth of a woman. I know that I should trust in the Lord with all of my heart and lean not unto my own understanding, but I’m having a hard time on this one. I don’t know if I’m just selfish, but if I were to die, I would be devastated if my husband were to be sealed to another woman. I will still be me when I die, and carry with me my thoughts and feelings. I could go on into the polygamy issue, but this is the one that directly affects me and my family. It is an eternal principal that passed through us by men. Is it possible that men make mistakes? Any thoughts or counsel?

Anon. from Tennessee

Dear Anon.

Is it possible that men make mistakes? If there is any doubt in your mind, look at the state of the world today, and it should remove all doubt. Is it possible for men who hold the priesthood to make mistakes? Absolutely! We must remember that there has never been but one perfect man who ever lived on the earth. Is it possible for men with the priesthood in positions of authority to make mistakes? Of course. You must consider that we are not automatons, and have been commanded to exercise our agengy and do things of our own free will.

For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward (D&C 58:26-28).

However, what should be our position be with respect to those in authority who make mistakes? We must be very careful here! If you feel that an authority has made a mistake, do you think that the Lord would reveal that information to you and not to the erring authority or to the person in authority over him? That type of revelation only comes from the Adversary. The Lord respects his servants and honors the decisions that they make in his name. We are obligated by our allegiance to the Lord and his Church to be obedient to priesthood authority. We will be blessed if we are, and we will be punished if we are not. The Lord is unequivocal in his instructions on this issue-

What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same (D&C 1:38).

With respect to a man being able to be sealed to a second wife in the temple after the first wife has passed away, relax. That is the mind and will and word of the Lord. Does that denegrate the position of women? By no means and in now way! Men and women are equal before the Lord. No man can be exalted in the celestial kingdom of God without a worthy woman at his side, nor can the woman be exalted without the man.

Given No. 1. Equality of men and women.

Given No. 2. If we make it to the celestial kingdom, there will be perfect harmony and peace, perfect understanding. Feelings of jealosy will be non-existent. We will not be like we are here, or we won’t be there.

Given No. 3. The roles of men and women, although equal, are different. There is much more about our eternal lives in the celestial kingdom that we don’t know than there is that we do know. And when we arrive there we will be able to understand the purposes of the Lord and the economy of heaven.

So, although we don’t have all the answers at this stage of our existence, we should trust in the Lord and recognize that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the veritable kingdom of God on the earth. We should accept the things that we do not understand on faith, and in time the understanding will come. Be at peace.


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