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Hi Gramps.

I don’t know if I should go on a full time mission or get married. I just turned 19 so I would be able to. And my parents keep asking me about it. Yet my boyfriend has been talking about getting married. He did not serve a mission to to health reasons but he would be able to take me to the temple to be married there. I don’t know which is a better choice or who to please more. I’d really like some advice.





Dear Heidi,

Let me start off with a quick note.  I had another young lady ask me the same question a few years ago and this is what I told her then:  Mission or Marriage?

You are going to find throughout your life that there will be no end to people giving you advice.  Some of that advice will undoubtedly be good and some will not.  Even well-meaning people will sometimes offer bad advice.  But there is one voice that is sure.  One voice that will never give you bad advice or lead you astray, and that is Christ.  (Heavenly Father, Christ and the Holy Ghost are one in purpose, so I speak of them all here.)

What you need to know, is what the Savior would like you to do with your life right now.  But how can you know the Lord’s will for you?  Certainly prayer will be important here, but remember that the Lord expects us to do our part.  You can’t simply ask, you need to do a little digging first.  If you have your Patriarchal Blessing, I would start there.  (If you don’t have it, I highly recommend you get it.  If you do choose to serve a mission, you will be counseled to get it before you leave any way.)  Study your blessing.  Read it, ponder it, pray about it and repeat.  Just because your Patriarchal Blessing doesn’t specifically say, “Serve a mission” doesn’t mean that isn’t the Lord’s will for you.   In Pres. Hinckley’s blessing it said he would preach the gospel to the world, so when he served his mission in England he thought that portion of his blessing was fulfilled.  Clearly, he didn’t yet see the great vision the Lord had intended for him.

Next, I would recommend reading some talks about marriage and about missions.  Perhaps read some talks about finding answers to prayers.  A great starting point would be Obtaining Help from the Lord by Richard G. Scott.

I can’t answer the question of whether or not you should marry or go on a mission, but I assure you can get guidance from the Lord on this matter.  If you seek Him, and follow the promptings you receive, you will be blessed.  I have see this pattern in my life countless times.  Best of luck to you!






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