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Gramps,

Marrying at an early age might be an issue specially coming from a conservative family. I’m 19 and currently studying in BYUH. My parents had always dreamed for me to serve on a mission before getting married. Before, I made a lot of decisions that broke my parents heart. So now, I do not want to break their heart again – making my decision clear to serve a mission. However my boyfriend who is also studying here had asked me questions regarding marrying him. I have warned him about proposing because he knows my desire to serve on a mission. He said that he would do his best to wait. If we do not get married before his graduation next year he needs to go back to the Philippines as part of the scholarship grant which means we will be separated for 4 yrs. It scares me to lose him especially because he is already an RM and marrying age. I wonder if I’m making the right decision. I really must take into consideration my parents urging me not to marry unless I have served my mission.

Lana

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Answer

 

Lana,

Young men are encouraged and even commanded to serve our Father in Heaven through missionary service.

Young women are also encouraged, and their service is appreciated, but it is not commanded nor required.

Of all the reasons to serve the Lord, if your primary reason to serve is because “I do not want to break their heart again”, then that is not a reason for wanting to serve the Lord as a full time missionary.

I can give you reasons to serve or not to serve. Ultimately it comes down to your own personal choices.

My best counsel that I can offer you is to study this out carefully, and then ask the Lord if it be right. (D&C 9:7-9) You are choosing between two very good choices. Which one is best for you? I cannot answer that for you.

My feeling is that if you choose to serve as a missionary, and he must return back to his country, your relationship will not withstand 4 years of continuous separation.

Remember that you’re only 19. You should not feel “rushed” into getting married. You must have the spirit of calmness and of peace… not fear when you are making this decision.

 

Gramps

 

 

 

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