My daughter and husband have taught their 6 children the gospel well. Her twins, age 16 next month, were to have their patriarchal blessings. They specifically excluded me and their beloved Aunt because we have watched R rated movies on occasion. The reasoning is they wanted the spirit to be strong there, and were afraid our presence would prevent that. Both their Aunt and I attend the temple and hold positions in the Wward and Stake. We pay tithing, pray, read the scriptures and in every way try to be worthy of the Celestial Kingdom. I have repented of the R movies, attended them only with my son when he took me to action movies so I wouldn’t offend him when he drove 90 miles round trip to come see me every other weekend. Both my daughter, the aunt, and I were deeply hurt. I can be around them and forgive the hurt but their Aunt Shaun is still hurting too much. Was this a right thing for them to do or, as I would have done, overlooked and invited their family anyway?
In reviewing your question, the word “self-righteous” springs suddenly to mind. If your daughter and her husband excluded you from being present during the patriarchal blessings of their children because you might detract from the spirit, they must be leading near perfect lives. However, if they were, how could they have acted so injuriously to the feelings of others? The examples of the Savior meeting with and helping those who were beset with sin are numerous. It was the Pharisees who refused to participate with or be in the presence of those who did not keep the commandments as they were understood by them. I’m afraid that there are some members of the church today who follow the norms of the Pharisees rather than the example of the Savior. Henry Drummond, in his little treatise called The Greatest Thing In The World said, “How many prodigals are kept out of the kingdom of God by the unlovely characters of those who profess to be within?”