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Dear Gramps,

I am getting married in August, in the Mormon temple in Bountiful. My parents are unable to attend. They want to know the specific reason why if someone is married civilly they then have to wait a year to be sealed. I talked to my bishop and the only thing found in the handbook was exceptions to the rule, no reason. I’m hoping you have the answer.  My parents also refuse a ring ceremony. Do you have any suggestions on how to make this easier on everyone involved? Thank you.





Dear Amy,

If members of the Church have a civil ceremony, there is an implied reason for not being sealed in the temple. The year waiting period is to give the couple sufficient time to prepare themselves for the temple sealing.

It is often difficult for parents who can’t attend the temple marriage ceremony. At times they want their children to have a civil ceremony so that they can participate in it. If they were to understand and appreciate the great and marvelous blessings that are associated with a temple marriage, they would have it in no other way.

As gently as you can you might explain to them that a temple marriage is the only way that you would consider being married. The purpose of a wedding reception is to give all the friends and relatives an opportunity to greet the newly married couple and extend their congratulations and good wishes. You might try to make the reception a special time for your parents. For instance, they should be at your side as people come by to greet the bride and groom, and there may be other ways that they could be recognized as your parents.

When all is said and done, it must be remembered that this is YOUR wedding, not theirs, and it is appropriate for the event to meet your standards and desires.






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