I am the president of the Deacons Quorum. I recently had a slip up and watched some immodest pictures of women. None of them were naked but I feel terrible. I’m going to talk to my bishop. Do you think i will be asked to leave my calling?
I’m sorry you are struggling with this issue. We live in very challenging times. Satan has ensnared many, even in the church, with pornography. I cannot predict with certainty what your Bishop will say about your calling. But what I can predict is that when you talk to your Bishop, he will be very loving and helpful. Sometimes I think we equate going to the Bishop like going to the Principal’s Office at school, in other words as if we are in trouble and are going to be punished.
I don’t believe that is what the Lord intends. There have been times when I have talked to my Bishop and I could feel such love, and an understanding from the Spirit, that in that moment my Bishop was truly acting in the Savior’s place. I believe that the Lord asks us to talk to the Bishop about some sins because He knows that those are things that will be difficult to overcome on our own. Talking to the Bishop can give us added strength and support against the power of the adversary.
It sounds like you are planning to talk to your Bishop, so I commend you for that. Be careful Paris, Satan wants to ensnare you. He takes desires that you have naturally – especially at this time of your life – and tries to use them to make you fall into sin. Remember that pornography is addictive. While pornography is evil, the feelings you have are not. Heavenly Father gave us these powerful desires because He wants us to procreate. But He also gave them to us as a beautiful way for a man and wife to emotionally connect to one another. Pornography takes this beautiful gift from Heavenly Father and twists it into something it was not meant to be. Do not be deceived by Satan. Don’t be ashamed of the desires that are growing within you either–but harness them, holding out for the day when you can share this wonderful blessing of sex with a woman you are married to. I promise you the wait will be worth it Paris.
In the meantime, talk to your Bishop. Think of him as a coach, a loving ally for that is what he is.