Question
Dear Gramps,
Are we supposed to repent frequently or infrequently? I’ve heard recent prophets speak on the joys of daily repentance, but I’ve also read that Joseph Smith taught that repentance is too serious a thing to do regularly. I might think that Joseph meant we should try not to sin, so that we don’t have to repent regularly, but it’s not that simple, or we’d all be translated. (We’re all trying not to sin, after all.) How can I align these two instructions?
Thanks,
Rina
Answer
Rina,
A frequent misunderstanding—especially for those earnestly trying to follow the Savior—is that repentance is a rigid set of steps or a revolving door: sin, confess, forsake, repeat, and hope you are “in the green” when your time on earth is up. This perspective not only adds unnecessary pressure but also fails to capture the redeeming power of Christ’s Atonement.
According to responses drawn from the experience and doctrine of the Church, repentance is NOT confessing what you have done, although confession is a part of true repentance. Repentance is NOT refraining from doing something wrong. There is no cycle of repentance. Rather, “repentance is not confined to actions that we do or that we cease from doing, but it involves a change of heart, a change of character, so that we are not the same person that we were before.”
This shift is echoed by modern Church leaders and thinkers. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland has taught that “The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes… faith is always pointed toward the future.” The aim is progress, not perfection, in this life.
C.S. Lewis compared our spiritual progress to a child learning to speak: A mother teaches her baby to talk by talking to it as if it understood long before it really does. We treat our dogs as if they were ‘almost human’: that is why they really become ‘almost human’ in the end. So it is with God’s expectations for us. He invites us to be more than we are by meeting us where we are.
Many wonder, “Must I remember and repent of every little wrong? What about sins forgotten or buried in the distant past?” The answer is beautifully simple and merciful. If it were true that every individual sin required repentance, Jesus would be the only child of our heavenly parents to reside in the Celestial kingdom… The reconciliation that takes place is not about erasing an event (the actual sin). It is about changing our rebellious hearts. Scripture repeatedly teaches that *repentance is turning to God, confessing and forsaking what we know is wrong*, and allowing Him to “make weak things become strong” (Ether 12:27).
The steps often cited (recognition, confession, forsaking, restitution, etc.) are helpful guides but should not be mistaken for a legalistic checklist. Elder Neal A. Maxwell urged, “Real repentance involves not a mechanical checklist, but a check reining [controlling] of the natural self.” God looks not for an itemized list but for a sincere, changed heart.
For sins forgotten, there is no need to be plagued by fear. Sound doctrine reassures us, “If you’ve forgotten something that you have done that is wrong, don’t worry about it. God does not keep a score sheet of all our actions, but he continually evaluates the condition of our hearts. If our heart is pure, it doesn’t make any difference what we have done in the past. We may think of it as something done by another person–the one we used to be but no longer are. God does not judge us the way we were, but the way we are.
Likewise, when someone struggles to overcome a repeated habit, feeling trapped in guilt, they are invited to evaluate: “Is this sorrow leading to repentance or despair?” If it is the former, then it is likely godly sorrow and part of the healing process. Improvement and effort matter. President Ezra Taft Benson taught, “We must remember that most repentance does not involve sensational or dramatic changes, but rather is a step-by-step, steady, and consistent movement toward godliness.”
Another frequent worry involves the need to confess to a bishop and feelings of apprehension, embarrassment, or fear of consequences. Within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, only serious sins that affect our membership in the Church (or privileges like partaking of the Sacrament) require confession to a bishop. Most personal failings, such as impatience, unkind thoughts, or private struggles, are dealt with personally—between the individual and God.
When confession to a bishop is appropriate, it should not be viewed as punitive but as an act of faith and humility, inviting support. A bishop not only points out the way but walks beside you to help you arrive safely. Considering that a Bishop represents the Savior, when you confess to the Bishop, it is as if you are confessing to the Savior, and He is offering to walk with you on your journey home.
It is impossible for any mortal to live entirely free from sin. Even the best of us repeatedly fall short. Terryl and Fiona Givens remind us,
“Hardly ever… is a choice made with perfect, uncompromised freedom of the will. That… is why repentance is possible in the first place… For us lesser mortals, who never attain such lofty heights of intellect and will, repentance and change continue as long as our striving does. God would not have commanded us to forgive each other seventy times seven, if He were not prepared to extend to us the same mathematical generosity.”
Far from being an allowance for casual sin, this doctrine reflects the reality that repentance is rooted in divine mercy, not human flawlessness. The Lord judges us the way we are, not the way we were! When we honestly repent—confessing, forsaking, making restitution where possible—those sins are not only forgiven but “remembered no more” (Doctrine and Covenants 58:42-43).
President Benson described repentance as something ongoing, something constant. He’s describing a lifestyle. He’s describing a process of becoming, not just doing. Repentance is more than praying for forgiveness every night… It’s a way of living that demonstrates a continuing change of heart. This outlook is profoundly optimistic: we can thrive spiritually while imperfect, trusting in Christ’s merits rather than our checklist of deeds.
Brad Wilcox captured this growth through analogy:
“When a young pianist hits a wrong note, we don’t say he is not worthy to keep practicing. We don’t expect him to be flawless. We just expect him to keep trying… Growth and development take time. Learning takes time. When we understand grace, we understand that God is long-suffering, that change is a process, and that repentance is a pattern in our lives.”
Gramps
