Question
Gramps,
The priesthood-holding husband says he was inspired to not have children yet. The wife said she reluctantly and with disappointment deferred to her husband’s inspiration because he is the priesthood holder. Does not the wife also have access to inspiration relating to the couple having children?
Manuel
Answer
Hi Manuel,
In such a case as you describe, the wife has at least as much access to divine inspiration as the husband. The fact that the husband holds the Priesthood is not relevant to this particular issue. Remember that it was to Rebekah, not to Isaac, that the Lord revealed (Genesis 25:23) that Esau would serve Jacob, the birthright son. Mary, espoused to Joseph but not yet living with him, received Gabriel’s angelic word (Luke 1:30-33) that she would conceive the very Son of God. Joseph afterward received his own revelation (Matthew 1:20-21) that Mary’s child was of the Holy Ghost and destined to save mankind.
Husband and wife are commanded to “be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This unity is vital in all decisions in marriage, and most particularly to questions of childbirth and rearing. The man should never force his wife to accommodate his wishes, and the woman likewise should never deceive her husband to get her way. Childbirth and child rearing are among the most sacred things given us by a loving Father, and issues involving this principle should in all cases be done with both husband and wife communicating honestly and freely.
In your question, the husband believes that God has revealed to him not to have children. I personally find this curious and wonder why he has not discussed this in great depth with his wife. Does he think he’s unfit to be a father? Does he fear some genetic disease or disorder might be passed to the next generation? There is some reason behind his claim of revelation not to bear children, which after all was the first recorded of Father’s commandments to Adam and Eve.
The world would frame this issue in terms of “fairness” and “bodily autonomy” and “choice”. God expects a great deal more from us who have received his gospel. This is a matter of selflessness, kindness, understanding, love and unity between husband and wife, and the Spirit of God entering into that marriage and helping inspire good decisions. My advice to those in the situation you describe is to pursue that divine path of charity, unity, and seeking the will of God.
Gramps
