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Question

OK, at school I’m a little too popular. At church, (with youth) I find it hard to connect myself with them. It’s awkward for me there. Guys there just don’t seem to be my sort of guys, and only the girls at school are attracted to me. It’s hard to connect socially there, and because of this, my spiritual life is suffering. It’s bad because it’s hard to find double date partners and it’s harder to keep standards at school (not going to parties, keeping my mind in check, etc.) without the spiritual boost from being good friends with the youth. I’m getting my patriarchal blessing soon so need to be really worthy this coming month. I don’t have big problems, but it’s hard to find the strength to make the small changes I need when I am so put off socially and spiritually at church. I’m afraid that the small mistakes will affect the patriarch’s ability to hear the spirit, and that I might make serious mistakes at school in the future. What should I do?

Spencer

Answer

Spencer,

Our teenage years are some of the most important years of our lives. They will hugely affect our choices after high school and what is available to us as individual citizens in the country we grow up in.

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As teenagers, we thrive off how other people view and react to our personality and unique behaviors. We all have our personal likes and dislikes, types of personalities we get along with better, and types of personalities we don’t.

I remember a young men’s youth group activity and how young men from different walks in life were able to work together, despite their different personalities. The first issue I recognize is the idea you have already given yourself, “my sort of guys.” The doctrine I would recommend you remember is that we are all brother’s and sister’s and we all have something to contribute to each other. Look for their strengths, and where you might be similar, verses the differences attracting your attention.

A patriarchal blessing is dependent upon your individual righteousness. Once you receive your patriarchal blessing do all you can to make sure you receive these promised blessings. This is accomplished by actively choosing and making the right choices in life.

If you make a mistake, remember, it will be because you chose and made choices that ultimately lead to the mistake. The mistake will not be because the boys in church were not your “sort of guys”, however, it will be a result of the thoughts you ponder on most. If you want to be righteous, then serve God and actively make those choices that will serve God.

You might be surprised, but I was popular also in school. I also didn’t get along with the majority of the boys in my ward, however I kept going because I knew it was the right thing to do, and my parents were helpful. I began praying each day, and fasting on Fast Sundays. This is the reason why I stayed out of trouble and didn’t make any major mistake.

Gramps

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