I need help. I wrote you before about being gay and angry at Heavenly Father about it. I’m an alcoholic and I’m so afraid that Heavenly Father has given up on me. I have a lot of problems and I don’t know how I can ever come back. I don’t know what to do. Heavenly Father has been so merciful to me in the past but I’m afraid I’ve pushed his patience with me beyond his limit.
First of all, please know how much your Heavenly Father loves you and wants to bless you! You are his son. In October 2019, Elder Ruben V. Allaud stated,
“Jesus Christ himself is the lord of lost things. He cares for lost things. In the end, nothing is truly lost to him.”
Each of us is sent to this mortal life to learn and grow. Each of us is unique and as such, we each have challenges and temptations that we experience in this life. The Lord loves and blesses us with experiences to help us learn and grow in the only possible way we can, so we can return to him. Being gay is not something that will stop you from progressing and growing. However, being angry at Heavenly Father for the challenges you are faced with is something that can undermine your testimony and faith and your self esteem.
It is never too late for any of us, as long as we are still here upon this earth. Repentance is much easier while our spirits inhabit our bodies. It is very important for us to repent now. In Alma 34:33-34 it says:
“And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed.
Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world.”
We must change our hearts and turn them to Jesus Christ while here, upon the earth. And it is never too late to come back.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks spoke of this in his April 2019 talk titled, “Cleansed by Repentance”. He says,
“Overarching God’s plan and all of His commandments is His love for each of us, which is “most desirable above all things … and the most joyous to the soul” (1 Nephi 11:22–23). The prophet Isaiah assured even the wicked that when they “return unto the Lord, … he will have mercy … [and] abundantly pardon” (Isaiah 55:7). Alma taught, “Behold, he sendeth an invitation unto all men, for the arms of mercy are extended towards them” (Alma 5:33; see also 2 Nephi 26:25–33). The risen Lord told the Nephites, “Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive” (3 Nephi 9:14).
From these and many other scriptural teachings, we know that our loving Savior opens His arms to receive all men and women on the loving conditions He has prescribed to enjoy the greatest blessings God has for His children.
Because of God’s plan and the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I testify with a “perfect brightness of hope” that God loves us and we can be cleansed by the process of repentance. We are promised that
“if [we] press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life” (2 Nephi 31:20).”
Always remember you are a son of God. He loves you.