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I was excommunicated 7 years ago after I voluntarily confessed to my husband and bishop to having had multiple affairs.I repented and was rebaptized a year later. Things went well for a while, but 2 years after I had another affair, which I ended within a year. I have been “clean” for 3 years now,but I find myself attracted to men other than my husband frequently. I have controlled those feelings, but they continue pestering me.I don’t want to go through the embarrassment of confessing my sins again. This will break my husband’s heart. Plus,it’s so humiliating. I sense I’ll be excommunicated again. Yet I don’t feel I’m a worthy member of the church. I don’t take the sacrament and don’t pay tithing. No one knows about this last affair but the Lord, my mother, sister, and me. I am 53 years old and old enough to know better. I wish I knew what it is that makes me so weak in this area of morality. How can I combat this?Will I be excommunicated again if I confess this to my bishop?




As members of the Church of Jesus Christ we believe in a loving Father in heaven, and in his loving son Jesus Christ. Our Father in Heaven, through his son, have provided us with prophets to guide and direct the affairs of his kingdom. One aspect of this guidance is given in the Church Handbook of Instructions.

In light of your previous excommunication, and an unfortunate repeated offense, the chances are more likely that you will be excommunicated again. However, do not fret, excommunication, and other disciplinary actions are opportunities for people to repent and to fully come unto Christ.

One of the thoughts bishops are asked to review during a disciplinary counsel is whether or not the person has already been through a disciplinary council. In light of this Becky, please do not fear, speak with your bishop and begin the repentance process again. This process is for your best interest, eternally.

Your husband, although it may break his heart, has a right to know about your infidelity. Part of our repentance process is that we are open and willing to accept the consequences of our actions, no matter how hard or difficult the task may appear.

Becky, we all experience physical attraction, however the problem is not that we are attracted to other people. The problem is when a person is willing to act upon their attraction — this is the core/root of the problem. People do not commit adultery on a whim, people who have committed adultery have long thought about it before they committed the sin.

David’s fault was not when he looked upon Bathsheba, his fault was when he continued to look and then invited her to his palace. David recognized Bathsheba was a beautiful woman — no sin in recognizing the outward appearance of another person (he was attracted), however what he did with his attraction is what lead him to sin.


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