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Hi gramps,

I love the church so much, but I’m struggling to find peace in my ward. I’m a young woman, so I am with all the other girls my age. Every single one of them is so mean, and make me feel so alone and insecure. I’ve started to become inactive, and I got word from an adult friend that they talked about me rudely in ward council. I’m so tired of my ward. Any tips?





Dearest Adelaide,

Your post is devastating. I am deeply that saddened that you are being treated this way. Obviously, I don’t know the details of why people are choosing to interact with you like this, but their behavior is completely inappropriate and absolutely heartbreaking. Often times we as members forget that how we treat other members matters deeply. If you choose to act in unkind or rude ways towards others, we lose the right to ask why they no longer come to church or participate in ward activities.  We are often told to treat others with kindness and respect and we should but sometimes we forget to give kindness, friendship, and respect to our own brothers and sisters.

Without question, one of my favorite passages in the bible is Matthew 25:40:

“Truly I tell you, whatever you do to the least of my brothers and sisters, you do for me.”

Jesus was speaking the truth of course-how we treat people is a direct reflection of we would treat Him. I think all of us have to remind ourselves of that passage before we interact with others. That could be anyone from our parents to our literal brothers and sisters to our spiritual brothers and sisters.  I’d also like to remind you that people are human.  Sometimes all of us can say things in the heat of the moment that are rude and uncharitable. I know I have before. Forgiving others who have wronged us is extremely difficult, but shows that we have great character and understanding.

I’m so sorry your treatment here at the church is causing you to slide into inactivity. Before you take that step, I recommend that you talk it over with your Young Women President and your Bishop. If you’ve heard rumors that are troubling or you are being treated in a way that you don’t feel is appropriate, odds are that talking it over with your bishop/leadership will provide some clarity and insight to the situation. Hopefully, how you are being treated is the result of a miscommunication and corrective action can be addressed to those whose behavior is un-Christian.

You are in our prayers






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