Question
Dear Gramps,
This is such a painful question about adultery. I was wondering if a man commits adultery many times in his first marriage, and many times in his second, and many times in his third, and is excommunicated for it all, and once before was disfellowshipped how does it work with the repentance process if he tries to repent and come back into full fellowship into the church, after leaving a very long trail of heart broken women and children?
Cathleen
Answer
Cathleen,
I am so heartbroken that you have to deal with this question in your own life. Such a path of devastation is not easily healed. But through the grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ, you and your children can be healed. This may require counseling. It will definitely require time. And for the man in question, it will take a complete dedication to repentance with no excuses.
Now, I’m not going to actually answer your question about the adulterous man being brought back into full fellowship. That is a procedural question that you can ask your bishop and is entirely dependent on many factors, not the least of which is his full and complete repentance. What I can say about it is that with a sin like this, from an endowed man, whose sin has gone on so long, it would require working very hard against human nature to truly repent.
At this time, I’d advise you to concentrate on healing. Heal yourself. Heal your children. I’m assuming it is your own husband you’re asking about. If it is someone close to you then substitute her in this advice. If that healing process involves working with your husband to bring him back to full fellowship (again, speak with your bishop about options) then do so.
No matter what path you take, I know it will be a difficult one. I pray for the Lord to give you strength in your journey. I pray that he may heal you and your children. I pray for your husband’s full repentance.
With great empathy and love,
Gramps
