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Hello Gramps!

I would really appreciate your insight. I stay home with my 2-year-old daughter.  My family of 4 lives with my aunt.  We have quite a bit of debt and cannot afford a home of our own along with all of our debt payments.  My husband will be starting a new job soon.  He will work four 10-hour days and be home three weekdays.  My aunt is retiring and will also be home.  I love being home with my daughter, but should I go to work since they will be home to care for her?

Thank you!




Hi MormonMama,

Your question contrasts two important responsibilities we have: To care for our children at home and to see to their physical and financial needs.

On one hand, according to The Family: A Proclamation to the World, your place as mother — your primary duty and privilege — is to see to the nurture of your daughter. Others who love your daughter may fill this role, but no one can take your place.

On the other hand, you need a place to live, food to eat, and clothing to wear. Providing this is primarily your husband’s duty and privilege. But if the husband and father cannot provide alone, the Proclamation makes it clear that parents — not only fathers — are charged with providing for the physical needs of their children. In our world today, we see many instances of mothers having to work outside the home to help provide for their children’s needs. In a perfect world, this would not happen; sadly, we do not yet live in a perfect world.

Your daughter’s well-being should be the highest priority for your husband and yourself, ahead of all other concerns except perhaps your marriage itself. It should ultimately be the deciding factor in your choice. Deciding what is truly in her best interest may not be easy. Does your daughter seeing her mother take responsibility for the family’s financial situation and help her father pay the bills outweigh having your influence there on a constant basis? And if you were working only when your husband and/or aunt were at home, spending the rest of the time home with your daughter, might that be sufficient for her needs while still allowing you to help pull the financial load?

I cannot tell you which choice you should make. My bias is always toward the mother staying at home to rear her children, but I am in no position to tell you what ought to be done in your case. You must counsel with your husband and take this in prayer to your Father in Heaven. Consider your options carefully. Make your choice according to your best information, and then seek to find the heavenly confirmation to tell you that God approves.




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