What damages are done on society by not watching over our neighbors?

Question

Gramps,

What damage does not watching over our neighbors have on society?

David

Answer

David,

From our earliest years, many of us are taught the golden rule—to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”—and reminded of Christ’s two greatest commandments: to love God and to love our neighbor as ourselves. The Parable of the Good Samaritan and countless Church lessons remind us that loving our neighbor is central to Christian discipleship, especially in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Yet, for all this instruction, genuinely loving our neighbor remains one of life’s most persistent challenges.

Why is it so hard to actually love our neighbor when we’re so frequently reminded, even commanded, to do so? What stands in our way, and how might we overcome these barriers to forge more Christlike, compassionate relationships? 

One of the fundamental challenges we face in loving our neighbor is that everyone sees the world differently. No two individuals share the exact same experiences, opinions, or perspectives—even when they share beliefs or backgrounds. Politics, popular culture, religious views, and even interpretations of gospel principles can vary dramatically from person to person.

This diversity of thought isn’t a weakness; it’s a blessing, a source of growth and learning. The eleventh Article of Faith in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints proclaims, “We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.” This declaration recognizes and honors diversity while calling for mutual respect and kindness.

Yet, problems arise when we stop regarding these differences as opportunities for dialogue and start viewing them as threats or proof of another’s shortcomings. Defensive posturing and a need to prove ourselves right can quickly erode empathy and kindness. The temptation grows to correct others rather than understand them, or to judge rather than serve. When disagreements turn into divisions, love becomes conditional, and the possibility for a real neighborly connection is lost.

The scriptures invite us to humility: “If they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27). Openness to learning from others’ perspectives, even those we disagree with, is a Christlike virtue. As we seek to see others as the Savior does, with patience and charity, we begin to fulfill the commandment with greater authenticity.

In today’s technology-driven society, another barrier to loving our neighbor emerges: the echo chamber effect. Social media platforms and online communities often reinforce our beliefs and biases, allowing us to hear our thoughts and opinions echoed. What begins as an innocent discussion can become an arena for taunts, gossip, and even open hostility toward those who think or live differently.

This distancing is compounded by the anonymity and distance provided by the internet. Our keyboards become shields from behind which we sling taunts, gossip, and threats, because we do not have to see the faces of our neighbors who are hit by our harmful missiles.” Public shaming, online harassment, and the weaponization of ‘righteous’ beliefs damage real people. Genuine connection and empathy are replaced by self-righteousness and superficial validation.

The danger is not just that discussions become heated, but that compassion is replaced by pride and rivalry. The scriptures are clear about the need for moderation and discernment: “Correct when moved upon by the Holy Ghost” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:43), and always “[show] forth… an increase of love toward him whom [we] have reproved, lest he esteem [us] to be his enemy.” If we argue or correct without the Spirit, we are likely to drive our neighbors further away rather than draw them closer.

Moreover, social media magnifies the tendency to compare ourselves, often leading to insecurity or a false sense of superiority. When our light becomes more about outward appearances and less about genuine faith and vulnerability, it can unintentionally cause others to feel insignificant or unloved. Instead of building others up, we risk alienating them.

One of the most subtle but destructive barriers to loving others is our often unconscious habit of judging them—sometimes in the name of righteousness. We may withhold help from those we deem unworthy, justify indifference based on principles like self-reliance, or use labels that subtly divide instead of unite: “less-active,” “inactive,” “nonmember.” While principles are important, using them to build ourselves up at others’ expense undermines the very essence of Christlike love.

Victim-blaming is a particularly egregious form of this tendency. When we try to rationalize away the suffering of others—searching for some reason they deserved their hardship—we avoid the difficult fact that bad things can happen to anyone. These rationalizations are attempts to shield ourselves from vulnerability, but they deny our common humanity and the randomness of suffering in a fallen world.

The New Testament story of the woman taken in adultery is instructive: after the Pharisees demanded her punishment, Christ replied, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her” (John 8:7). This teaching extends beyond the specifics of her situation; it challenges us to withhold judgment, especially when it comes to those suffering, victimized, or marginalized.

To truly love our neighbor, then, we must set down our stones—our judgments, our labels, our harsh assessments. This is a daily spiritual labor that asks us to build others up rather than tear them down, to replace the false security of self-righteousness with the humbling work of compassion.

How do we move past these pervasive obstacles to love? The answer is not simply “try harder,” but to thoughtfully realign our hearts and habits with Christ’s teachings.

First, humility is essential. Openness to correction, to change, and to the possibility that we don’t have all the answers is foundational to any truly loving relationship. As the prophets and apostles have repeatedly taught, it is only through love and humility that we find the strength to serve others, especially those we disagree with or don’t understand.

Second, intentional listening is vital. When we “plug our ears” to calls for help across social, political, or religious divides, we cut ourselves off from our neighbors. Zechariah warned of a people who “[stopped] their ears, that they should not hear” (Zechariah 7:11). Active listening—especially to those we are inclined to dismiss—can break down the walls of pride and foster deeper understanding.

Third, we must resist the relentless social pressures around us, whether from social groups, social media, or even within our own congregations. In Alma’s time, members of the ancient church faced persecution not just from outsiders but from within their own ranks, as pride and contention crept in. “There were many among them who began to be proud, and began to contend warmly with their adversaries…” These divisions caused “much affliction to the church.” Yet, the faithful “bore with patience the persecution which was heaped upon them.” Modern disciples are likewise called to patient endurance and active peacemaking.

Deep community is both our need and our destiny. Our call to love our neighbor is nothing less than a command to build community, erase loneliness, and mirror the inclusiveness of God’s love.

It is important to acknowledge that loving our neighbor also means creating environments where the vulnerable are protected and wrongs are made right. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints denounces abuse in the strongest terms, especially against children: “In the strongest possible terms, we denounce and decry the abuse of children and the circumstances that protect abusers.”

Church systems and leaders bear a sacred stewardship to watch over the flock, to listen to and protect the vulnerable, and to hold themselves accountable when systems fail. As recent failures have shown, policy and accountability must continually be evaluated and improved to ensure the safety and healing of all members, especially the most vulnerable. Members and leaders alike are called to increased love, advocacy, and prayerful support for victims and survivors.

Let us make loving our neighbor more than a motto or memory verse—let it be the defining practice of our lives, transforming both others and ourselves in the process.

Gramps