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Question

 

Gramps,

What is the wife’s role in determining the worthiness of her husband?  I have been asked, on two separate occasions, about my husband’s worthiness to serve in a calling.  I am uncomfortable with being asked to judge my husband’s worthiness; I thought that was the job of the bishop? I feel that my husband should be the one to report any wrongdoings to the bishop when he is ready to begin the repentance process, not me.  One way, I could be neglecting his spiritual growth, and the other I could be treading on his agency.

Mrs. S. Foley

 

Answer

 

Dear Mrs. Foley,

I can only speculate as to why you would have been asked that question. I think the thing we need to remember is that unfortunately there are wolves among the sheep In our wards. It has been always been so (Christ was betrayed by one of those closest to Him.)  So while yes, your husband should be the one to confess anything needful, the Bishop or Stake President may be seeking a bit more assurance.

I think likely what the Priesthood leader is asking is related to the temple recommend interview question regarding whether there is anything in relation to your family that is not in accordance with the gospel.  To be more blunt, men who are abuse their wives and children are often times men that a) appear to everyone else to be an upstanding individual and b) would never disclose this particular sin.

There is another very simple reason for asking a wife that question.  Very rarely does the Lord reveal from on High that which can be revealed by the person sitting next to you.  Also it is very rare for the Lord to reveal things that a person does not diligently seek.  Therefore when a Bishop is trying to judge worthiness of a person for a calling by talking to the spouse,it is a logical and reasonable thing to do.  If the bishop is unwilling to seek out the answers he wants the Lord to give him by doing something as simple and basic as talking to the spouse he has no reason to expect/demand the Lord to answer him.  The Bishop or Stake President is not necessarily asking the wife to judge her husband but to give her opinion.

If your husband is a generally upstanding person and is striving to keep his covenants then there’s nothing for you to tell your Priesthood leader. I don’t think you need to worry about the kinds of sins that beset us all, but if there is a serious issue, such as abuse, or immorality, then you are actually helping your husband by bringing this to the light.

 

Gramps

 

 

 

 

 

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