Question
Gramps,
At what point does helping someone in need turn into enabling?
Will
Answer
Will,
Whether faced with a request for spare change at a street corner or a holiday campaign seeking donations, people can feel paralyzed by doubt. Should I give to panhandlers? Should I only help through official charities? Can I ensure my gift is used wisely? These questions often stir up two opposing reactions: guilt for not giving, and anxiety about giving wrongly.
Guilt is a common companion when seeing someone in desperate circumstances, especially when we feel powerless or unsure about the best course of action. But as members of the Church, there is guidance and reassurance: You can fulfill your obligation to care for the poor without giving to panhandlers. You are now armed with dozens of other effective giving avenues. So, let go of your guilt and just listen for the Spirit. This advice highlights both personal agency and the importance of careful, prayerful consideration. Charity does not always mean direct handouts—sometimes the most compassionate thing is to seek other means of help.
On the other hand, some respond to uncertainty by “hardening the heart,” ignoring those in need to avoid these uncomfortable feelings. You can love them without giving to them… You can open your heart without filling it with guilt, knowing you have made deliberate decisions in prayer about how you will fulfill the commandment to care for the poor. Feeling compassion is not an on/off switch predicated solely on spontaneous giving; it is an ongoing, intentional practice.
When one feels overwhelmed—paralyzed by too many options, organizations, or worrying about giving perfectly—the advice remains practical: Nothing dims desires faster than procrastination, so once you have committed, jump into the realm of charitable giving as fast as you can! The call is clear: act, prayerfully and thoughtfully, and trust that imperfect action is often more impactful than no action at all.
One of the hardest truths about charity and humanitarian aid is that compassion, however sincere, is not always sufficient to address the root causes of poverty. Sometimes, attempts to alleviate suffering with gifts, donations, or even large-scale aid can unintentionally prolong the very conditions they aim to solve. As Elder James O. Mason described,
“It is easy and quick to give things away, and it is difficult and labor intensive to create or identify projects that put people to work. The old saying, ‘Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him [and his family] for a lifetime’ is precisely true but difficult to accomplish.”
Historically, well-intentioned humanitarian programs have had unintended consequences: dependency, loss of dignity, disruption of local economies, and even corruption. For example, after the 2010 Haiti earthquake, the international response brought in massive amounts of free food and aid. While this saved lives in the immediate aftermath, years after the earthquake, the food graciously continued to flow into the country… for free. Farmers could no longer sell their products because, as entrepreneur and native Haitian Alex Georges says, ‘it’s hard to compete with free.’” In trying to solve a crisis, the aid community unintentionally weakened local markets, created dependency, and extended the suffering in new and profound ways.
These observations fuel a shift in focus: from relief to self-reliance. Successful aid does not simply comfort the poor in their need; it empowers individuals, families, and communities to rise above it. Effective programs emphasize job creation, access to education, micro-lending, and support for local entrepreneurship. As Mason affirmed, “Humanitarian aid best helps build self-reliance in conditions of chronic poverty by helping to overcome idleness. It does this by teaching people how to fish; grow, harvest, and market crops; manufacture products; and attend school.”
Real-world examples abound. Organizations like Mentors International facilitate microloans and offer mentoring that helps entrepreneurs in developing nations start small businesses and work their way out of poverty. Days for Girls, another impactful organization, addresses the practical and deeply personal menstrual needs of women in poverty, providing hygiene solutions that lead to education and empowerment. These efforts are not about short-term relief, but rather about opening a door to opportunity, self-determination, and dignity.
For those who seek to follow the Savior, the highest standard is not merely to give, but to give as Christ would give. This means striving for charity that is both loving and wise.
First, it requires dropping justifications for inaction. It is easy to think, “Their poor decisions are what got them here, so they aren’t my responsibility,” but none of these justifications are valid. We must do all we can do… All we can see is what is right in front of us, and that should be motivation enough to help. Our charge is not conditional; it is rooted in the pure love of Christ.
Second, true compassion means seeing those in need as equals, not objects of pity or clients of charity. “Did I see that person as an equal, someone with as much talent, skill, intelligence, and potential as I? Or did I look down at them with pity? Was I giving him/her money to empower them? Or just to make myself feel like a good person?” These candid questions invite honest introspection into the reasons for our giving and challenge us to always seek the dignity and self-determination of those we help.
Third, Christlike giving is not deterred by the risk of enabling or the fear of being taken advantage of. Citing President Brigham Young, Elder Mason relates, “Suppose that in this community there are ten beggars… nine are impostors… which is best, to give food to the ten, to make sure of helping the truly needy one, or to repulse the ten because you do not know which is the worthy one? … Administer charitable gifts to the ten, rather than turn away the only truly worthy and truly needy person among them.”
Even so, wisely stewarding resources is crucial. Giving should not result in proselytizing with strings attached or encourage conversion for financial gain. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints purposefully separates humanitarian aid from missionary efforts to avoid such conflicts and to ensure that service is motivated by love, not ulterior motives.
Finally, effective charity does not always mean grand, global initiatives. Small acts—giving a meal, offering a blanket, making a microloan, even just a conversation—can make a tangible difference. The goal is to prayerfully seek guidance, act with intention, and strive to meet needs directly and personally, while also supporting effective organizations and initiatives.
Gramps
