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Dear Gramps,

Thank you for all your answers and kind advice. I have a problem. My sister and I are both adults. She is 10 years younger than me. For some reason, she just doesn’t seem to want to get along with me. I don’t have any problems with her. I think she’s a great person. We have had some misunderstandings in the past, and I have apologized and asked for her forgiveness for my shortcomings. I always try to treat her kindly, but it seems like I always do something wrong. I tell her that I want to make this all better, but she doesn’t seem very open-minded when I try and talk to her. What more can I do? Please help. Thanks,

SoCal Girl

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SoCal,

Forgiveness is an important aspect of our lives, but in reality it takes both sides to achieve it, whichever side you may be on.

forgiveness mormonIt may be painful to hear this, but ultimately, your sister is responsible for her own happiness. If she is unwilling to forgive past wrongs, that is her choice. If you’ve done all you can, and the Spirit tells you so, I would simply leave it at that. After all, if she is fully determined to be upset or offended, nothing and nobody will be able to change her mind.

Just by what you wrote, it seems she could be one that is prone to be offended easily. If that’s the case, there’s very little you can do without submitting to her every whim, which should never be necessary for peace between siblings.

At some point you will have to let it go and allow your sister to be upset. You are expected to seek forgiveness, and it sounds like you have. Beyond that you are free to pursue your own happiness. Nobody is expected to sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of another who is stubbornly unforgiving. All she is doing in that case is harming her own salvation and standing before Christ. As such, she is the only one able to improve the situation.

-Gramps

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