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A friend told me years ago that two apostles got into a verbal fight and went their separate ways (acts 15:30-31). I’m sure they have forgiven each other and both serve the Lord but in different ways. I have struggled for years to forgive someone and I still can’t be with or hang out around that person. I’ve decided to love and forgive the person. First (in person) and then delete the person out of my life circle and move on with my life. I can’t deal with the person that continues hurting me and others without reasons. I thought about the Lord saying we are to forgive others often (matt 18:21-22).
Doing the right thing doesn’t mean I have to be social or hang out with that person or family member but to move on with my life peacefully. Am I doing the right thing?

LDS

___________

Dear LDS,

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Looks like we need to talk about the difference between Trust and Forgiveness.

The Lord commands us to Trust him and not the arm of the flesh. He also commands us to forgive everyone as often as they transgress against us. Most of the time people think that to forgive is to allow things to return to the way they were. And in minor cases this is correct, but in more serious cases (say like in abuse cases) such thinking just puts you in a place to be hurt again. That is not what the Lord requires us to do to forgive.

When someone hurts us, it is very much part of the natural man to seek revenge, to make them hurt, to try to collect a pound of flesh in return. We want justice, unfortunately we are very rarely in a position to administer true and proper justice. These feelings don’t go away, they can canker and become toxic.

Forgiveness is to exercise Faith and trust in the Lord. To say, “Lord I know you will handle this in your own time and in your own way.” and then to pass to the Lord all the desires for Justice, to surrender all the toxic emotions and feelings to him. This is not easy, but this will truly lighten our burden, and allow us to heal.

None of this requires us to be foolish and allow ourselves to return to a place were we are likely to get hurt again. For those that have betrayed our trust, they don’t automatically get that back just because we have forgiven them.

As for your case I can’t not tell. Forgiveness is not easy some times we must ask the Lord for help with that, and only you and the Lord can truly know if you have forgiven as the Lord requires. But moving on with your life is a good and proper thing.

Gramps

 

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