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Dear Gramps

I don’t even know if I should ask this question cause you probably have more serious ones to answer but I thought that I might anyway. I don’t know if it’s for real but I think that I love this soon-to-be missionary. He’s like my best friend, I love him heaps and I wish that we could be together forever. But he’s told me things that are in his Patriarchal Blessing that kind of say that he will marry someone that he has not ye met. But then he’s also told me that after his mission he wants to marry me (but not straight up like that). I’m not sure what to think. I know that I love him heaps, but I also know that he’s going on his mission and that his Patriarchal blessing says certain things about who he’ll marry. Please help me.

Sara, from New Zealand


Dear Sara,

Fortunately, you will have a little time before decisions will have to be made. And in that time many things can, and will, happen. It’s wonderful to be in love with an honorable person and have him share the same feelings with you. But let’s look at things realistically for a minute. It’s very possible that he will return from his mission more in love with you than ever, and that you will still love him, and that you will be married and live happily ever after. But there are also a number of other possibilities. When he returns from his mission he will be a different person than he is now, and so will you. Although your feelings for each other may intensify during his absence, it is just as possible that while he is away you will meet someone else that you will think more of than you do now of him. Believe me, it’s happened many times. When he returns, his ideas may also have changed.

Concerning the patriarchal blessing, they are usually open to a number of interpretations, and after he returns from his mission he may have an entirely different perspective on what it means than he does now. So let me suggest that you continue your relationship in a cordial way while he is on his mission. Do what you can in your letters to support him in his activities. It is usually a good idea to postpone any promises to each other until after his return and you get reacquainted. Then would be the time to see how you feel about each other and if you would at that time want to continue your relationship.


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