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Dear Gramps,
My fiancee would like to know why can’t women hold the Priesthood and other callings that men can? She thinks that men think that women couldn’t do as good of a job, and that if a woman can do something better than a man could why not then the woman be in that position of authority? I need scripture ref. if possible. This is one thing stopping her from joining the church.
Wes, from Chicago, Illinois

Dear Wes,
Many of today’s women want it all. But in the province of the Lord the partnership between a man and a woman is a perfectly equal partnership. The roles of the two partners are different, but the relationship is one of equality. This may not appear to be so judging by the standards of the world, but we must be very careful not to bring the concepts of the world into the kingdom. This is the role of the woman in the Lord’s eyes. Her responsibility in the family is for the physical birth and for the training and upbringing of the children. The man’s responsibility is for the spiritual birth and for the training and upbringing of the children. No more could a woman baptize a child than could a man bear a child. But of these two parental responsibilities, which partner is required to prepare the most, and which is required to sacrifice the most? So if the women were given the priesthood as well as motherhood, the man would be nothing more than a drone.
Now, in every organization in the Lord’s kingdom, in order to keep order, one must preside, which is a priesthood function. But the concept of presiding in the kingdom has nothing to do with the concept of presiding in the world. He who presides in the world is an overlord; he who presides in the kingdom is a servant–the other end of the spectrum. Your fiancee wants to be put in a position of authority because her ability to manage the affairs of others may exceed that of the man with whom she is to be united. She has in her mind the worldly concept of authority; she wants to be the overlord. In God’s eyes neither is an overlord–the relationship is one of equality. Let’s look at how the concept of presiding authority in the home is defined by the Lord—

No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile–(D&C 121:41-42)

So the priesthood holder in the home has no priesthood authority unless these noble principles of persuasion, long suffering, gentleness, meekness, kindness and sincere love are employed. What does that mean? If there are disagreements, the priesthood authority cannot impose his will. He must attempt to persuade his partner into agreement. If that is not achieved, long suffering comes into play–no arbitrary action is taken. The husband must treat the wife with gentleness, meekness, kindness and sincere love until an agreement can be reached. Now that is the order of the kingdom, and it is more than obvious that it is not understood by the world. But when those principles are put into play the utmost of happiness, joy and contentment ensues. That is the Lord’s plan.
If your fiancee cannot agree to those principles, she is not for you. Your goal is to be sealed to your wife in the holy temple. Then, if you abide by the marriage covenant contracted in the temple, you and your partner will come forth in the morning of the first resurrection, clothed with glory and immortality. You will be raised up to exaltation in the celestial kingdom and receive the highest and most glorious position that God has made available for His obedient children. You will come forth as gods (D&C 76:58-62), with the assignment to rule and reign in the house of Israel forever.
Your fiancee cannot know these things until she accepts the gospel and receives the gift of the Holy Ghost, because these things are known only by the Spirit. Encourage her to listen to the missionary discussions. If touched by the Spirit, she will accept the gospel and all these things will then seem true to her. If she is not willing to follow that path, she is not for you.

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